EVERYBODY HAS A BONE TO PICK

Headlines:  Some of these people can’t tell Groucho from Karl. 

The Occupy Wall Street group continues to rant and wail,

Pointing out that it’s just wrong to have a firm “too big to fail”.

But amongst the valid points and the demonstrating mood,

It would appear that some are there just to pick up the free food.

Money:  It’s nice to know that the same lame excuses are bi-lingual.

The Chinese head of Wal-Mart has announced he’ll leave his post,

“To spend time with his family” is what he tried to boast.

But we’ve been around the block and we recognize chagrin,

It seems our best export to China is the ability to spin.

Sports:  We can’t wait for the rematch.

The Series has been set and now we know which teams to cheer,

And in college the BCS released its first standings of the year.

But the coaches stole the story in the 49er’s and Lion’s fight,

And it’s kinda hard to decide whether Harbaugh or Schwartz was right.

Life:  Perhaps Bjork was his inspiration? 

Amidst Clooney’s new flick and “The Walking Dead” premiere,

This weekend brought us news that caused both dread and fear.

Stephen Tyler, that hot mess, will now sell clothes for the rich and hip,

We’re thinking the only thing worse is if he made liner for our lips.

If you need to say something but just don’t know how, visit www.redposey.com and we’ll help you out!

TOO MUCH INFORMATION

Headlines:  We’re guessing this was not funded by the One-A-Day company. 

Multivitamins are now bad for us, was the latest news today,

Causing heart attacks, cancer, and heck, probably tooth decay.

If they banish all the vitamins we think that we’ll be fine,

We’ll stick with the tried and true – dark chocolate and red wine.

Money:  It’s the G. I. Joe of soft drinks. 

Dr. Pepper has introduced a new diet drink called DP10,

With silver bullets as its décor, they say it’s aimed at men.

Really? They think the décor will make a macho man try it?

Only if it has boobs on the can will most men ask for “diet”.

Sports:  Did someone say “perfect endings”? 

The weekend saw two fitting tributes in the world of sports,

Proving that when it comes to games it really takes all sorts.

The Raiders won for Al Davis, baby, in an emotional scene,

And a fan launched a hot dog at Tiger while he was putting on the green.

Life:  Is there no such thing as “too personal” anymore? 

Sharon Osbourne was off  “The Talk” and it caused a bit of doubt,

But then she said she was absent to have her implants taken out.

She went on to say that one breast had grown longer and had leaked,

Gee, just hearing she was absent is when my interest level peaked.

We would love take all of your information and write a tribute to someone you love.  Visit www.redposey.com to find out how.

SAFE AT HOME

Headlines:  Can she still shop on Friends and Family day?

Sarah Palin has announced that she’s not going to run,

She’s going to focus on her family, at least that’s what she’s spun.

Many will be disappointed over her campaign carcass,

But none so much as Barney’s, Saks and Neiman Marcus.

Money:  They’re still dealing with “good bones”.

Mortgage rates have fallen to historic lows,

A great time to refinance if you haven’t been foreclosed.

Jobs are still hard to come by and that’s made home sales quite drastic,

Our agent now works at the market asking “paper or plastic?”

Sports:  And he doesn’t even have Cameron Diaz for some comfort.

YES!  It finally happened, the Tigers beat the Yankees,

Forcing Jeter and Rodriguez to cry into their hankies.

With their payroll they should win it all, that’s one of the theories,

But now they know money can’t buy you love or a World Series.

Life:  Are they displaying the big brain or the small one?

The town of Thal, Austria is paying homage to their native son,

Yes, “Ah-nuld” is being honored for all the things he’s done.

There will be a new museum with a life-size bronze statue,

And maybe the gift shop will have his paternity tests for review.

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PUT UP, PAY UP, SHUT UP

Headlines:  This gives him four more years to fit into the Superman suit.

The suspense is finally over, the guesswork is kaput,

The 2012 election won’t have Chris Christie underfoot.

He says it’s not his time, at least that’s what he swore,

But we think it’s more a matter of “always leave ‘em wanting more”.

Business:  Will the stadium seats be made of fine Corinthian leather?

The Superdome will now be named for Mercedes Benz,

Who join in the resurgence of naming-rights trends.

We hope this means good things and makes the locals smile,

And that next time there’s a hurricane, they can evacuate in style.

Sports:  Are you ready for some goofball?

It hardly seemed official, no Hank Williams on MNF,

But he was given a “time out” by ESPN’s refs.

It should come as no surprise, as his railings seem to mount,

Calling Obama and Biden the Three Stooges proves that he can’t even count.

Life:  Do they have to return the Bunny Tails? 

They learned how to do “the dip” and practiced coy flirtation,

But “The Playboy Club” is now this season’s first cancellation.

Hef’s had a bad year, lost his show and his “girl” took flight,

Maybe he should stick to “girls” his age and start dating Betty White.

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THEY JUST DON’T GIVE A FLYING PUCK

Headlines:  Please pass the Grey Poupon.

The Brooklyn Bridge was closed on Saturday and 700 were arrested,

The group “Occupy Wall Street” kept the thoroughfares congested.

They’re trying to focus attention on the greed of the big shots,

But the executives couldn’t hear them – they’re all out on their yachts.

Business:  So, we all just need to spend more money?

Economists just reported consumer spending hit its low,

And the economy for the next 10 years will most likely remain slow.

They say that Christmas will be lean with so many people on the dole,

Guess Santa should be stocking up on lots of lumps of coal.

Sports:  Karma, baby.

Sidney Crosby of the Penguins has had problems with concussions,

And whether he should play or not has been the subject of discussions.

We think it’s part of some grand scheme, if we may be so bold,

To pay him back for keeping us from winning Olympic gold.

Life:  Did he celebrate with Dr. Pepper?

Not much news occurred this weekend, and you know it’s slow when,

There’s lots printed about another wedding for Jennifer Aniston.

The biggest event that we saw, a sight we couldn’t miss,

Was Gene Simmons getting married and sealing it with a KISS.

Give a wedding present that can’t be duplicated – a tribute to the life of the happy couple!  Visit www.redposey.com to order.

EVERYONE’S ON FIRE

AHEM…well now, after letting off a little steam yesterday we’re back to our rhyming format.  However, we are always seeking to improve and love to get feedback, so if you would like more “opinion pieces” in the future, or have any other thoughts about our blog, please leave a comment below.

And now for today’s news: 

HEADLINES:    But will it make my coffee in the morning? 

Amazon has announced its new tablet “Fire”,

And at a price of $199 it truly is inspired.

You can stream movies and music, even MJ’s “Thriller”,

But the real question is, is it an i-Pad killer?

BUSINESS:    Don’t we have enough of an obesity problem? 

Fast food joints have seen their sales in deep decline,

So now they’re offering deals to entice you in to dine.

Let’s see, on the same day we read that health premiums are up,

We’re not sure what we need are cheaper Slurpee cups.

Sports:  We hope the sumo wrestlers are not part of this program. 

ESPN’s has named the athletes to be in its  “Body Issue”,

They’ll pose almost nude, with some strategically placed tissue.

Among them Hope Solo and Jose Reyes will stare into the lens darkly,

We’re just praying they don’t decide to bring back Charles Barkley.

Life:  Who gets the eyebrow trimmer from his office? 

The clock has finally ticked down for “60 Minutes’” Andy Rooney,

Who – we must admit- can be a bit disgruntled and loony.

But he offered the best advice about handling credit card offers,

Send the pre-paid envelope back empty – the postage comes out of their coffers!

Surely you have a friend or relative that deserves a special birthday tribute – visit www.redposey.com to order one today!

 

STOP THE SILLINESS

Headlines:  Do we have ourselves a “Situation”? 

Chris Christie axed the tax credit for “The Jersey Shore”,

Saying taxpayers shouldn’t foot the bill for that drivel anymore.

While Christie may not run for prez, he sure is a smart cookie,

‘Cause he calls ‘em as he sees ‘em, even when it’s Snookie.

Money:  Is there a charge for walking in the door?

It seems that more and more we’re being squeezed for every buck,

Now banks will charge us more just when we’re all down on our luck.

Checking accounts will rarely be free, add that to our list of fines,

The banks are beginning to nickel and dime us just like the airlines.

Sports:  Is there a “no-tell” clause in that contract?

Tigers Woods signed a new caddie, Joe LaCava is his name,

He has hopes that this new “looper” will improve his mind and game.

Why Freddie’s former caddie would sign with Tiger has us vexed,

But we do know his main job will be keeping track of Tiger’s texts.

Life:  We’re a long way from Archie and Veronica

DC Comics has unleashed a new series of Teen Titans,

Super Boy will save the day and Thrice will scare and frighten.

A gay character that builds brick walls is a new invention,

We can hardly wait to see the next ComicCon convention.

Need to order an invitation to a holiday party?

Why not have us do it in verse?

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CHANGE IS IN THE AIR

Headlines:  Did Meg get a signing bonus?

 Once the champ of the Silicon Valley,

HP’s stock hasn’t seen much of a rally.

So they’ve hired Meg Whitman to save the day,

Or, at worst, she can auction it off on EBay.

Business:  Is Facebook trying  to make it more confusing?

 On Thursday, Mark Zukerberg announced a new look,

New music, new games and a “Timeline” for Facebook.

                       Most of us are still reeling from the changes we just got,

Labeling all our friends as “close” … or not.

Sports:  Did Michael or Scottie care?

Dennis Rodman, the Chicago Bull who was just a bit dotty,

Now says he never spoke to Michael or Scottie.

Jordan or Pippen didn’t care, is my guess,

They were too amazed by Rodman’s wedding dress.

Life:  Beyonce will not have your mother’s pregnancy.

 Beyonce sparkled this week at her perfume’s debut,

Said her pregnancy would not be matronly or subdued.

We’re thinking she’ll eat right and try to stay fit,

And not want to put an onion ring on it.

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JUDGEMENT DAY

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Yesterday two inmates were killed by lethal injection,

Down in Texas and Georgia there usually isn’t much objection.

Whether they  deserve it or not is for others to ascertain,

But we do know Perry supporters uncorked the champagne.

Bernanke bought $400B in bonds that he calls the “Twist”,

But is it just another plan that will get us riled up and pissed?

Because even though we can refi and have extra dough in our pockets,

Our money will be worthless when inflation skyrockets.

Well now, isn’t it interesting that the NFL’s decided,

To crack down on fake injuries that are ridiculous and misguided.

The conniving teams used them to get more time between downs,

But even this new ruling won’t help the hapless Browns.

“X-Factor” debuted last night, Simon Cowell is back for more,

Praising acts he loves, and shredding those that he abhors.

He says that it’s not “Idol”, it’s more polished and honed,

But one thing is the same: figuring out if Paula’s stoned.

How about a twist on the traditional Christmas letter?  We can capture your whole year in verse (even the over-achieving kids).

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