TOO MUCH INFORMATION

Headlines:  We’re guessing this was not funded by the One-A-Day company. 

Multivitamins are now bad for us, was the latest news today,

Causing heart attacks, cancer, and heck, probably tooth decay.

If they banish all the vitamins we think that we’ll be fine,

We’ll stick with the tried and true – dark chocolate and red wine.

Money:  It’s the G. I. Joe of soft drinks. 

Dr. Pepper has introduced a new diet drink called DP10,

With silver bullets as its décor, they say it’s aimed at men.

Really? They think the décor will make a macho man try it?

Only if it has boobs on the can will most men ask for “diet”.

Sports:  Did someone say “perfect endings”? 

The weekend saw two fitting tributes in the world of sports,

Proving that when it comes to games it really takes all sorts.

The Raiders won for Al Davis, baby, in an emotional scene,

And a fan launched a hot dog at Tiger while he was putting on the green.

Life:  Is there no such thing as “too personal” anymore? 

Sharon Osbourne was off  “The Talk” and it caused a bit of doubt,

But then she said she was absent to have her implants taken out.

She went on to say that one breast had grown longer and had leaked,

Gee, just hearing she was absent is when my interest level peaked.

We would love take all of your information and write a tribute to someone you love.  Visit www.redposey.com to find out how.

SAFE AT HOME

Headlines:  Can she still shop on Friends and Family day?

Sarah Palin has announced that she’s not going to run,

She’s going to focus on her family, at least that’s what she’s spun.

Many will be disappointed over her campaign carcass,

But none so much as Barney’s, Saks and Neiman Marcus.

Money:  They’re still dealing with “good bones”.

Mortgage rates have fallen to historic lows,

A great time to refinance if you haven’t been foreclosed.

Jobs are still hard to come by and that’s made home sales quite drastic,

Our agent now works at the market asking “paper or plastic?”

Sports:  And he doesn’t even have Cameron Diaz for some comfort.

YES!  It finally happened, the Tigers beat the Yankees,

Forcing Jeter and Rodriguez to cry into their hankies.

With their payroll they should win it all, that’s one of the theories,

But now they know money can’t buy you love or a World Series.

Life:  Are they displaying the big brain or the small one?

The town of Thal, Austria is paying homage to their native son,

Yes, “Ah-nuld” is being honored for all the things he’s done.

There will be a new museum with a life-size bronze statue,

And maybe the gift shop will have his paternity tests for review.

We love to write, you love to read.  It’s a perfect match!  Let us write something for you.  Visit www.redposey.com .

PUT UP, PAY UP, SHUT UP

Headlines:  This gives him four more years to fit into the Superman suit.

The suspense is finally over, the guesswork is kaput,

The 2012 election won’t have Chris Christie underfoot.

He says it’s not his time, at least that’s what he swore,

But we think it’s more a matter of “always leave ‘em wanting more”.

Business:  Will the stadium seats be made of fine Corinthian leather?

The Superdome will now be named for Mercedes Benz,

Who join in the resurgence of naming-rights trends.

We hope this means good things and makes the locals smile,

And that next time there’s a hurricane, they can evacuate in style.

Sports:  Are you ready for some goofball?

It hardly seemed official, no Hank Williams on MNF,

But he was given a “time out” by ESPN’s refs.

It should come as no surprise, as his railings seem to mount,

Calling Obama and Biden the Three Stooges proves that he can’t even count.

Life:  Do they have to return the Bunny Tails? 

They learned how to do “the dip” and practiced coy flirtation,

But “The Playboy Club” is now this season’s first cancellation.

Hef’s had a bad year, lost his show and his “girl” took flight,

Maybe he should stick to “girls” his age and start dating Betty White.

Wouldn’t you love to make someone’s day just a bit brighter?

Send them a tribute from redposey!

Visit www.redposey.com to start now.

THEY JUST DON’T GIVE A FLYING PUCK

Headlines:  Please pass the Grey Poupon.

The Brooklyn Bridge was closed on Saturday and 700 were arrested,

The group “Occupy Wall Street” kept the thoroughfares congested.

They’re trying to focus attention on the greed of the big shots,

But the executives couldn’t hear them – they’re all out on their yachts.

Business:  So, we all just need to spend more money?

Economists just reported consumer spending hit its low,

And the economy for the next 10 years will most likely remain slow.

They say that Christmas will be lean with so many people on the dole,

Guess Santa should be stocking up on lots of lumps of coal.

Sports:  Karma, baby.

Sidney Crosby of the Penguins has had problems with concussions,

And whether he should play or not has been the subject of discussions.

We think it’s part of some grand scheme, if we may be so bold,

To pay him back for keeping us from winning Olympic gold.

Life:  Did he celebrate with Dr. Pepper?

Not much news occurred this weekend, and you know it’s slow when,

There’s lots printed about another wedding for Jennifer Aniston.

The biggest event that we saw, a sight we couldn’t miss,

Was Gene Simmons getting married and sealing it with a KISS.

Give a wedding present that can’t be duplicated – a tribute to the life of the happy couple!  Visit www.redposey.com to order.

CHANGE IS IN THE AIR

Headlines:  Did Meg get a signing bonus?

 Once the champ of the Silicon Valley,

HP’s stock hasn’t seen much of a rally.

So they’ve hired Meg Whitman to save the day,

Or, at worst, she can auction it off on EBay.

Business:  Is Facebook trying  to make it more confusing?

 On Thursday, Mark Zukerberg announced a new look,

New music, new games and a “Timeline” for Facebook.

                       Most of us are still reeling from the changes we just got,

Labeling all our friends as “close” … or not.

Sports:  Did Michael or Scottie care?

Dennis Rodman, the Chicago Bull who was just a bit dotty,

Now says he never spoke to Michael or Scottie.

Jordan or Pippen didn’t care, is my guess,

They were too amazed by Rodman’s wedding dress.

Life:  Beyonce will not have your mother’s pregnancy.

 Beyonce sparkled this week at her perfume’s debut,

Said her pregnancy would not be matronly or subdued.

We’re thinking she’ll eat right and try to stay fit,

And not want to put an onion ring on it.

We do poems for all occasions – if you’re in need of a tribute or roast visit our site at:

www.redposey.com