It’s All About Michael

Conrad Murray’s standing trial in the Michael Jackson case;

It appears that he is not a MD pillar.

Did Michael off himself or did foul play cause his death?

The trial is bound to be a national Thriller.

Was the doctor misinformed or was he really Bad;

 Was he tired of listening to that MJ squeal?

Michael disagreed with lots of things the doctor did,

He said, “Doc, I don’t like The Way You Make Me Feel

A Smooth Criminal Murray says he’s not;

Telling Michael that the pill, he shouldn’t eat it.

If the jury buys his story that he was there to help,

Of the charges that he faces, he will Beat It.

 Michael ‘King of Pop’ lived in such a world of dream

But he had dancing moves and could belt out Billy Jean.

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EVERYONE’S ON FIRE

AHEM…well now, after letting off a little steam yesterday we’re back to our rhyming format.  However, we are always seeking to improve and love to get feedback, so if you would like more “opinion pieces” in the future, or have any other thoughts about our blog, please leave a comment below.

And now for today’s news: 

HEADLINES:    But will it make my coffee in the morning? 

Amazon has announced its new tablet “Fire”,

And at a price of $199 it truly is inspired.

You can stream movies and music, even MJ’s “Thriller”,

But the real question is, is it an i-Pad killer?

BUSINESS:    Don’t we have enough of an obesity problem? 

Fast food joints have seen their sales in deep decline,

So now they’re offering deals to entice you in to dine.

Let’s see, on the same day we read that health premiums are up,

We’re not sure what we need are cheaper Slurpee cups.

Sports:  We hope the sumo wrestlers are not part of this program. 

ESPN’s has named the athletes to be in its  “Body Issue”,

They’ll pose almost nude, with some strategically placed tissue.

Among them Hope Solo and Jose Reyes will stare into the lens darkly,

We’re just praying they don’t decide to bring back Charles Barkley.

Life:  Who gets the eyebrow trimmer from his office? 

The clock has finally ticked down for “60 Minutes’” Andy Rooney,

Who – we must admit- can be a bit disgruntled and loony.

But he offered the best advice about handling credit card offers,

Send the pre-paid envelope back empty – the postage comes out of their coffers!

Surely you have a friend or relative that deserves a special birthday tribute – visit www.redposey.com to order one today!

 

ARE YOU SH*TING ME?

The news is getting worse with time;

Sometimes we get too pissed to rhyme.

 Headlines:       Are you sh*ting me?  Our fiscal year ends Friday and our elected representatives are politicking, brinksmanshiping, threatening another government shutdown as the Disaster Relief Funds has become a political football.  You know who really needs Disaster Relief?  We do; the disaster is the people running our government.  Democrat, Republican or Independent, I’m campaigning for anyone who isn’t an incumbent.

Money: Are you sh*ting me?  Quit sugar-coating it, the stock market is nothing like a roller coaster ride – at least there’s some enjoyment there; we’re walking under a piano that’s being dropped from a three-story building.  We don’t know about you, but we certainly can’t figure out what the Germans are going to do about the Greeks or what the Chinese are going to do with all our debt.  Best money idea – backyard, coffee can, shovel.

Sports: Are you sh*ting me?   The Dallas Cowboys win a game where the only way they score is by kicking 6 field goals.  If you can’t score a touchdown, you shouldn’t win the  game.  Rumor has it that the Cowboys were inspired by the following quote that was hanging in their locker room: “I keek a touchdown”  Garo Yepremian, 1966

Life: Are you sh*ting me? Saudi Arabia might be allowing women to vote . . . in 2015!  However Saudi women will still not be able to travel, work, marry, get divorced, be admitted to a hospital or live independently without permission from a male guardian.  Can you say oil independence?

And one last thing: Are you sh*ting me?  Our financially strapped government is looking to provide college scholarships to illegal aliens.  Not that our elected
representative should know the law or anything, but that is aiding and abetting
a criminal . . . and that’s a FELONY.

Have a nice day!

STOP THE SILLINESS

Headlines:  Do we have ourselves a “Situation”? 

Chris Christie axed the tax credit for “The Jersey Shore”,

Saying taxpayers shouldn’t foot the bill for that drivel anymore.

While Christie may not run for prez, he sure is a smart cookie,

‘Cause he calls ‘em as he sees ‘em, even when it’s Snookie.

Money:  Is there a charge for walking in the door?

It seems that more and more we’re being squeezed for every buck,

Now banks will charge us more just when we’re all down on our luck.

Checking accounts will rarely be free, add that to our list of fines,

The banks are beginning to nickel and dime us just like the airlines.

Sports:  Is there a “no-tell” clause in that contract?

Tigers Woods signed a new caddie, Joe LaCava is his name,

He has hopes that this new “looper” will improve his mind and game.

Why Freddie’s former caddie would sign with Tiger has us vexed,

But we do know his main job will be keeping track of Tiger’s texts.

Life:  We’re a long way from Archie and Veronica

DC Comics has unleashed a new series of Teen Titans,

Super Boy will save the day and Thrice will scare and frighten.

A gay character that builds brick walls is a new invention,

We can hardly wait to see the next ComicCon convention.

Need to order an invitation to a holiday party?

Why not have us do it in verse?

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Planning Your Next Hike?

Headlines: I thought you brought the map!

Just in case you are thinking of camping and hiking,

Keep something in mind if you can;

Bring supplies for two years if you’re planning to go

Near the border of Iraq and Iran.

Money: Help wanted, some travel involved.

For the jobless we’re hearing there’s news that is good;

 There’s someplace where employment is growing.

If you’re looking for work and don’t like paying taxes,

To the Middle East you should be going.

Sports: Which group of millionaire crybabies are you rooting for?

The NBA players can’t agree with the owners;

Greed for millions has led to a fatigue.

Training camps have been cancelled along with some games;

Perhaps we just scrap the whole league.

Life: Was Henny Penny Right?

NASA told us that pieces of a satellite were falling;

As to where, they guessed the Pacific.

Or maybe on a house or a car or your head;

They just weren’t sounding too scientific.

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CHANGE IS IN THE AIR

Headlines:  Did Meg get a signing bonus?

 Once the champ of the Silicon Valley,

HP’s stock hasn’t seen much of a rally.

So they’ve hired Meg Whitman to save the day,

Or, at worst, she can auction it off on EBay.

Business:  Is Facebook trying  to make it more confusing?

 On Thursday, Mark Zukerberg announced a new look,

New music, new games and a “Timeline” for Facebook.

                       Most of us are still reeling from the changes we just got,

Labeling all our friends as “close” … or not.

Sports:  Did Michael or Scottie care?

Dennis Rodman, the Chicago Bull who was just a bit dotty,

Now says he never spoke to Michael or Scottie.

Jordan or Pippen didn’t care, is my guess,

They were too amazed by Rodman’s wedding dress.

Life:  Beyonce will not have your mother’s pregnancy.

 Beyonce sparkled this week at her perfume’s debut,

Said her pregnancy would not be matronly or subdued.

We’re thinking she’ll eat right and try to stay fit,

And not want to put an onion ring on it.

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JUDGEMENT DAY

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Yesterday two inmates were killed by lethal injection,

Down in Texas and Georgia there usually isn’t much objection.

Whether they  deserve it or not is for others to ascertain,

But we do know Perry supporters uncorked the champagne.

Bernanke bought $400B in bonds that he calls the “Twist”,

But is it just another plan that will get us riled up and pissed?

Because even though we can refi and have extra dough in our pockets,

Our money will be worthless when inflation skyrockets.

Well now, isn’t it interesting that the NFL’s decided,

To crack down on fake injuries that are ridiculous and misguided.

The conniving teams used them to get more time between downs,

But even this new ruling won’t help the hapless Browns.

“X-Factor” debuted last night, Simon Cowell is back for more,

Praising acts he loves, and shredding those that he abhors.

He says that it’s not “Idol”, it’s more polished and honed,

But one thing is the same: figuring out if Paula’s stoned.

How about a twist on the traditional Christmas letter?  We can capture your whole year in verse (even the over-achieving kids).

Visit www.redposey.com

Poker Ponzi?

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Our embassy opens in Tripoli soon,

With rebels just catching their breath.

To inspire them, we’ve put up a banner that says,

‘Give me Libya or give me death’

A waiter’s attention is oft hard to get

And sometimes they make a mistake.

So restaurants are putting their menu on iPads,

Now your server is never on break.

The league has been called the Pac 8, 10 and 12,

But there won’t be a Pac 16 now.

To Oklahoma they’ve talked and to Texas as well,

But to both they have finally said, ciao.

Full Tilt Poker is one of the top poker sites,

But we’re told that it’s not what it seems.

They say Texas Hold ‘Em’s the game that they play,

But they’re playing a big Ponzi scheme.

 —

 What the hell is a redposey?

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Metta World Peace? Give Me A Break!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Let’s start with a drug deal gone terribly wrong
For some skanky drug dealers in far off Hong Kong.
A ton of cocaine was in boxes, bags, hoses,
Which is better than finding it up our kid’s noses.

What’s this change going on in the fast food restaurants?
Now it’s lettuce, tomatoes, healthy food that they flaunt.
We use to go there for double burgers and fries,
Now it yogurt they’re asking if we want super-sized.

Isaac Newton was known for his bodies in motion,
His laws and his apple caused quite a commotion.
Cam Newton’s the body that’s in motion this season;
Passing 800 yards in two games is the reason.

Ron Artesst changed his name to Metta World Peace,
Now he’s Dancing With The Stars, I guess wonders never cease.
As the dance that we’ll remember is when a fan he chased,
As he waltzed into the bleachers and punched him in the face.

– – –

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IT’S ALL IN A GAME

Monday, September 19, 2011

Palestine this week will go before the United Nations,

To recognize it’s statehood and keep Israel in isolation.

Obama is urging a veto in this unending game of chess,

But it seems no matter what they do, it’s always the same old mess.

Atlantic City wants to capitalize on a familiar use of its name,

And has built a life-size edition of the Monopoly game.

So we were wondering since the pieces are really built to scale,

Will people really have to “Pass Go” and go directly into jail?

The conferences in college football have become a baffling muddle,

It’s a wonder that the QB even knows who’s in the huddle.

Syracuse and Penn’s move to the ACC is the latest deal that’s done,

And yet we still don’t have a good way to determine who’s #1.

Rosie O’Donnell will be unveiling her new show on Oprah’s OWN,

We’ll see if she’s calmed down or if she’s still so overblown.

She’s taking over Oprah’s studio, her producers and her staff,

But will all that good karma ward-off  her usual string of gaffes?

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