Headlines: Keep the kids away from the debates!
The experts now report that second-hand TV is bad for kids,
Its distractions and diversions can put their learning on the skids.
They say the kids need face time and interactive talk,
Else they’ll end up unable to simultaneously chew gum and walk.
Money: Can we look forward to the McBratwurst?
McDonald’s has announced it is bringing back the McRib,
And we have to say it looks tasty – about that we cannot fib.
In Germany they offer it year ‘round, but not here in the U.S.,
Their marketers know what we cannot have will cause us to obsess.
Sports: Why don’t we throw in a car and a house while we’re at it?
We think the NCAA has finally lost its grip,
They want to pay $2000 more on each athletic scholarship.
That’s in addition to tuition, books, board and all their fees,
How about they start requiring that more athletes earn degrees?
Life: Newsflash: Stupid is “in” again.
As if there isn’t enough crap jamming the air waves,
Beavis and Butthead are coming back with their antics and their raves.
They’ve been gone for 14 years but here’s the real shock,
This time ‘round they aren’t the stupidest TV program on the block.
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