Headlines: Do they settle the election with a jump ball?
Mikhail Prokhorov, the Nets’ owner, wants to be the Russian prez,
He will face Putin and won’t be scared, or at least that’s what he says.
He acknowledged that even he isn’t safe from gulag prison stays,
At least his players can advise him on surviving jailhouse days.
Money: Perhaps people DO have too much discretionary income.
The retailers are weighing in on what’s selling this holiday,
Lego, Barbie and Elmo are apparently here to stay.
Lingerie sales are way up and there’s a new product for those who dare,
You can impress your friends and family with a bra worn as outerwear.
Sports: I wouldn’t bet against him.
The Global Language Monitor has issued a decree,
From now on it will be “Tebowing” when a player takes a knee.
Much has been made of Tim’s actions but after Sunday’s big comeback,
Maybe we ought to just shut-up and give the guy some slack.
Life: The trifecta.
Jen Aniston has been named the “Hottest Woman of All Time”,
At 42 years old she is smart and in her prime.
All three Kardashian sisters made the covers of the trashy mags,
Is it too early to declare them the “All Time Most Likely to Make You Gag”?
What better stocking stuffer than a redposey?