Is Santa Claus Coming To Town?

If you haven’t read my sister’s post from Tuesday, you should; it captures the spirit of the season.  This post is more reflective of someone who’s been drinking the spirits of the season.  But the humor is a gift, as Suzanne mentioned, from our father, who always had a twinkle in his eye and something good to say about everyone.

By Bob Sparrow

The following questions about Christmas carols came into our mail bag this week and I thought I should share some of our answers with our readers.

Will I have a White Christmas?  No, it’s now politically incorrect to have a Christmas of white, black, brown, yellow, red or any other color attributed to human flesh.

Who wrote:

     Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow – Sammy Cahn wrote it as he boarded a plane in New York headed for Palm Springs.

     All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth – The first goalie for the New York Rangers

Did Santa really kiss mommy under the mistletoe last night?  Apparently there’s been something going on between Mommy and Santa for some time; do you wonder why at 9 years old you are over-weight and have a white beard?

What’s the meaning of Fa La La La La La La La La in Deck the Halls?  There’s an interesting history to this song, the Halls and their neighbors, the Kragmeyers were like the Hatfields and McCoys, always fighting.  The Kragmeyers actually created a disparaging song about the Halls that was filled with profanity; they sang it every Christmas with the intent of decking the Halls in a fight.  The music was so beautiful the song endured, but the ‘Fa La La’s’ were substituted for the original lyrics that would make a sailor blush.  That should put a smile on your face the next time you sing it.

How’s Grandma?  After being run over by reindeer several years back, she’s now up and around and feeling a little better since winning the reckless driving suit against Santa that paid her $3.4 million plus attorney’s fees.  She now resides in Palm Beach, Florida.

Did all the other reindeer really laugh and call Rudolph names until one foggy Christmas eve when he guided Santa’s sleigh with his bright red nose?  Really?

In the song, I’ll Be Home for Christmas, what do the lyrics ‘Christmas eve will find me where the love light gleams’ mean?   The reality is, it’s hardly a comforting song; the man singing it is in New Orleans at a business convention and away from his wife on Christmas eve, so tells her not to worry he’ll be in the red light district, where the ‘love light’ gleams, while she’s at home trying to explain to the kids exactly why daddy’s not home for Christmas.

Say, what was all the laughing about on that one-horse open sleigh?  The sleigh riders had actually stolen the sleigh and were having a hardy prankster’s laugh.  The truth is, however, they didn’t laugh all the way, the horse developed gas about midway through the trip and in an open sleigh that’s no laughing matter.

 What exactly where the 10 Lords-a-Leaping leaping about?  Have you seen how tight their leotards are?  They’re like a cheap hotel, no ballroom.  As long as that song is, you’d be leaping too if you had to wear tights through the whole thing.

Does Santa really have a list?  No, this veiled threat evolved from a misinterpretation of the original song; the actual lyrics made reference to Santa’s speech impediment saying, ‘He’s making a lisp’.

Is Santa Claus coming to town?  No, if you’d read my sister’s piece on this blog earlier in the week, you’d know that Santa never left town.

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Have a great holiday season and a healthy and happy 2012

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