THEY WERE SOLDIERS ONCE, AND YOUNG (2018)

By Suzanne Sparrow Watson

This is my annual Memorial Day piece, written in remembrance of the boys from my high school who died in the Vietnam war. After I first published this in 2014, I heard from many people who related similar stories about the loss suffered in their home towns – or worse – their families. So this weekend, as you commemorate the holiday, please take a moment to remember all of the brave young men and women we’ve lost in conflict.

Five boys from my high school were killed in the Vietnam War. For a small town like Novato, that was an enormous number. We were such a close-knit community that even if we didn’t know one of them personally, we knew a sibling or friend. So on my trip to Washington D.C. last month I scheduled time to visit the Vietnam Veterans Memorial to see their names on “The Wall”. To refresh my memory I pulled out my high school year books and found them all – smiling for a formal portrait or posing for a team picture. Each image reflected a boy, fresh-faced and full of hope, his life stretching out before him. I looked at those young faces and found it hard to believe that their lives ended so shortly after the bucolic days captured in the photos. None of them reached the age of 22. While we, their classmates, lived long enough to enjoy the internet, smart phones and streaming movies, most of them didn’t live long enough to see a color television. I reflected on the stories I’ve read of WWII vets who speak so reverently of the “boys who didn’t come home”. As I perused the yearbooks I finally understood their sentiment. It is only when looking back through a 50 year lens that one can appreciate just how young these soldiers were and how many of life’s milestones they missed. So on this Memorial Day, I’d like to pay tribute to “The Boys from Novato”.

 

Robert Johnson

Bob Johnson joined the Army in the fall of 1965, in what would have been his Senior year in high school. I remember him as a quiet guy, but very nice. Before he enlisted he asked his high school sweetheart to marry him – it would give them both something to hang on to while he was gone. His entry into the service occurred just as the war was escalating. He was sent to Vietnam in March of 1966 and three weeks later he was killed by enemy gunfire during “Operation Abilene” in Phuoc Tuy Province. As his former classmates excitedly anticipated prom and graduation, Robert had already made the ultimate sacrifice. In the 1966 yearbook, where his senior portrait would have been, his mother placed this photo of him along with a tribute. He was the first Vietnam casualty from Novato.

 

 

Mike Tandy

Mike Tandy graduated from NHS in 1965. His sisters, Sue and Sarah, also attended NHS. Mike was very smart and participated in the first swim team our high school fielded. He was an Eagle Scout and according to his friend Neil Cuzner, “he was highly intelligent, a great guy and an excellent scout. He was in the Senior Patrol and a young leader of our troop. He lead by example”. After graduation Mike joined the Marine reserves and was called up in January, 1966. He was sent to Vietnam shortly after that. On September 8th he was on patrol in Quang Nam with another soldier when his footfall detonated a landmine. He was killed instantly. He had celebrated his 19th birthday just five days prior. His classmates had moved on – either to college or working – but the Tandy family was left to grieve the loss of their son and brother. In 2005 Sarah posted to the virtual Vietnam Wall: “Thanks to all of you who come here and remember Mike. All of our lives were changed and I thank you for not forgetting.”

 

 

 

Allan Nelson

Allan Nelson played football at College of Marin with my brother, Bob. Allan’s sister, Joanne, was in Bob’s class and his brother, Steve, was in mine. So we were well aware when Allan was drafted into the Army and sent to Vietnam in July, 1966 at the age of 20. Five months later, on December 1, we were devastated to learn he had been killed by gunfire during a battle in Binh Dinh Province. I still remember the day Steve came to school after Allan’s death; red-faced with tears streaming down his cheeks. He had always been such a happy guy but was now changed in ways that were hard for 16 year-old kids to understand. As I look back now, I can’t imagine what it must have been like for him to go home from school each day and face parents who were shattered by grief. Joanne posted the following on a memorial page and perhaps sums it up the best: “Allan was my brother, not just a brother, he was my best friend. All I know is December 1, 1966 was the saddest time for me and my family. My family loved each other so much, but when Al was killed the joy died in my family. Allan had his whole life planned. He had just turned 21 on Oct. 20th. When we were young, he couldn’t wait to be 21. I am so sorry for all the families that lost a son and a brother. It will be 33 years in Dec. The everyday sad feelings of loss are gone but on special days it still hurts.”

Jim Gribbin

Jim Gribbin graduated from NHS in 1966. He was on the football team and very active in school clubs. His brother, Dennis, and I were in school plays together and my mom and his mom, Molly, were friends. Jim was well-liked by everyone who knew him. He joined the Army Reserves and when called up, became part of the Special Forces where he rose to the rank of Captain. He served two tours of duty in an elite MIKE unit. In March 1970 his unit was on a night defensive mission in Kontum Province when they were ambushed by enemy troops. Jim sacrificed his own safety by running into open territory – twice – to aid and retrieve wounded soldiers under his command. He was shot both times and taken to a rear medical facility where he died from his wounds. Ironically, for this affable Irishman, he succumbed on St. Patrick’s Day. He was awarded the Silver Star and the Bronze Star for Valor. Jim’s dad was a veteran of WWII who died in 2011. He requested to be placed in the same grave with Jim, with his name and vitals carved on the back of Jim’s headstone. One can only imagine the grief that he carried all those years. Hopefully he is at peace now that they are forever reunited. (Update 2018: to read about a wonderful tribute paid to Jim this past March on the date of his death you can read my post about it here: http://fromabirdseyeview.com/?p=7111 )

 

Wayne Bethards

Wayne “Ed” Bethards was in my graduating class, but I didn’t know him well. His family moved to Novato just before the start of our senior year. His mother, Betty Bethards, was the author of the international best-seller, “The Dream Book”. Again, Neil Cuzner has provided a bit more insight: “Wayne was a good person. He had a great love of baseball and had actually started a small league while over in Nam. He was sharing his love of baseball with the Vietnamese children.” Cuzner went on to say that Wayne was a religious person and did not want to kill anyone; he struggled greatly with his deployment. He was drafted into the Army and was sent to Vietnam in October of 1970. In January, 1971, he was killed while on patrol by the accidental detonation of a mechanical device in Quang Tin Province. He was the last boy from Novato High School to die in the war.

 

Jerry Sims

Update from 2017: In April, 2017, I heard from a former schoolmate, Dennis Welsh, about Jerry Sims, a boy who died in the conflict whose hometown was listed as Novato. I found in my research that sometimes the Novato “hometown” designation were for those affiliated with Hamilton Air Force Base, not graduates of Novato High School. Since there were no records of Jerry at NHS I assumed Jerry was from Hamilton, but that was not the case. Dennis told me that Jerry moved to Novato from Texas in the Spring of 1966 to live with his sister. He tried out for the football team during spring training and made the squad. But despite that automatic inclusion into a social group, he nevertheless was unhappy living in California and being the “new kid” going into his Senior year. Dennis said that he never saw him again after football tryouts and didn’t learn of his fate until he spotted Jerry’s name on “The Wall”. The fact is that Jerry left Novato and joined the Army in June, 1966 and was sent to Vietnam in November. On February 13, 1968 he and several others in his unit were killed by small arms fire in Gia Dinh province. Jerry was 19 years old. His former platoon leader said this on his memorial page: “I was Jerry’s platoon leader on the day he died. He didn’t have to be there, since he had a job elsewhere in Vietnam, but he requested a transfer. He had already spent a year with the Wolfhounds, but for reasons all his own, he wanted to come back to this unit. He died doing his job as a squad leader in my platoon.” It would seem Jerry finally found his home – and some peace – with his Army brethren.

 

A Kingston Trio memento

I found all of the boys from Novato on “The Wall”, each name etched in granite. I thought about all of their families and the sorrow they endured. It was overwhelming to realize that same sorrow had been replicated 58,286 times. Each of the names on that black, shiny surface represent a family forever destroyed. As I walked along the pathway I looked at all of the mementos that were left as tributes to the fallen – notes, flowers and flags mostly. But then I spotted something different – a tribute from Jim Dart to his brother, Larry. It was a Kingston Trio album (pictured left), along with a note about the good times they shared learning the guitar and singing songs together. I was overcome with emotion reading Jim’s note. My brother, Bob, owned that same album. He and his best friend, Don, often entertained our family playing their guitars and singing songs from that record. Bob was a Naval officer in Japan during the Vietnam war and was safely returned to us. I wept as I stood looking at the album, realizing that but for the grace of God – and military orders – how easily it could have been Bob’s name on that wall and me leaving a Kingston Trio album in his memory. I can’t imagine what our family would have been like without him. I ached for Sue and Sarah and Joanne and Steve and all the other siblings who never got to see gray hair on their brother’s head; their family gatherings forever marred by a gaping hole where their brother should have been. When I stooped down to take the photo I noticed that several other visitors had stopped to look at it too. As I glanced at those who were of a certain age I could see my own feelings reflected in their eyes. We know how much of life these boys missed. We mourn their loss – and ours

27 comments on “THEY WERE SOLDIERS ONCE, AND YOUNG (2018)

  1. With love and respect I honor you in this task that you have elected to pursue. I speak for all our fellow classmates that we appreciate that you have brought many people together in this tribute.

    • Steve, thank you for your kind note. It’s my pleasure to post this every year in honor of our fellow classmates.

  2. Thank you, Susan, for the tributes to these fine young me. I have visited “The Wall” and it is overwhelming. I have known most of these men either personally or through their families. It is heartbreaking, but we need to be reminded of their ultimate sacrifice for us all. Well done!

    • Thanks, Linda. I agree – the Wall is overwhelming when you think about how many people were affected by each name inscribed on it. Thanks so much for your comment.

  3. Thank you for your tributes to these young men, most of which I knew personally or through their families. It still seems so unreal to this day. Nicely done Susan.

  4. Well done! Your words hit home and leave a deep impact on all of us. Thank you for remembering those that we will forever be grateful for their courage and contributions.

    • Thanks, Billy. It’s my honor to do this every year and I’m always amazed at how many people respond. We don’t forget!

  5. I heard of Wayne’s passing just before I left for Viet Nam, it was a reality check. I did not know him well. just enough to say hi and some small talk. It was hard for my girl friend at the time as she was a senior at San Marin when I left. she is now my wife of 45 years. people must remember that our loved one went through a lot after we came home a different person then when we left. thank you for a wonderful tribute to those that passed.
    Darrell Peloquin

    • Darrell – thank you for serving and thank you for your comments on this post. It really was such a different time from today – no one really appreciated all that you guys went through over there. Congratulations on 45 years – that’s a wonderful accomplishment.

  6. Thank you for remembering those who did not return. Wayne Bethards was a special young man with a big heart and the ability to dance like no other guy in high school. He was kind, loving and humble. I was with him when an elderly man backed into him at the San Rafael Macy’s parking lot. He jumped out of his parents’ car like he was going to get in the driver’s grill, but immediately calmed down when he saw that the guy was badly shaken up. He was sweet and told the man it was okay. He came back to the car and shook his head, laughing at himself for getting all headed up. He was my boyfriend, but we broke up before he was deployed. I walked into my house and my brother told me he had been killed. I was sure he was mistaken, I couldn’t believe that I’d never see him again. It didn’t seem real that someone like Wayne would never light up a dance floor again, or not come back and be that warm, wonderful guy he was. I always thought he’d come back.

    • Jennifer – your remembrance of Wayne brought tears to my eyes. As I mentioned, I didn’t know him very well so I appreciate hearing more about him. I can’t imagine your sense of loss in losing such a wonderful friend. Thank you so much for taking the time to write your comments.

  7. I remember Wayne well. Although we weren’t close friends We were in various classes together. I last saw him in Ft. Lewis Washington during holding on our deployment to Vietnam. I was saddened to read of his death in the Stars and Stripes newspaper.
    Very nice tribute…

  8. You are a gift from God to keep their memory alive. You represent all and each of the ones in passing. I thank you. I knew three of them quite well from the class of ’65. Thank you once again. Karl Schmid

    • Thank you, Karl. I am humbled by the number of people that read this each year and remember our fellow NHS alumni. I appreciate your comment.

  9. RIP Allan and all of the soldiers who lost their lives in Vietnam Nam. I lived down the street from the Nelson’s and my folks were friends with his, and I learned a lot about baseball from his younger brother Tommy. On Memorial Day, we remember.

    • Thank you, John. The overwhelming part about seeing The Wall was thinking about the Nelson’s grief and then multiplying it by every name up there. They were a great family.

  10. A quiet and tearful salute to these young men and all the men and women who have sacrificed for our country.

    • Thanks, Kay. It gets sadder each year – I guess the older I get the younger they seem. I appreciate you forwarding it on to Bob’s mom. I hope she enjoys it.

      • I think the older we get, it is ironic that they all seem so young as in our minds they have not changed. Thank you for posting this each year .

  11. Such beautiful tributes. These wonderful men live on through your words. Needless to say, I read all carefully with tears in my eyes. We lost several classmates and friends in that war, too. I plan to visit that wall in their honor and in honor of all who gave their lives for us.

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