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BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR

Headlines:  A nod from Tiger could be next. 

Newt Gingrich leads the polls so now he’ll meet with Trump,

And hope that his endorsement will put him over the hump.

Herman Cain’s endorsing Newt, but if we could be so rash,

That will make the women’s vote most likely burn and crash.

Money:  No use crying over spilt Euros.

The Italian finance minister broke down and cried today,

As she announced that many social perks were going to go away.

She said that working people had no more money to bestow,

A sentiment we hope foreshadows how the U.S. is going to go.

Sports:  This bowl proud to be sponsored by Sani-Flush. 

Well, LSU and Alabama will play the title game re-match,

While other games seem destined for a considerable mismatch.

You know there are too many bowls when the committees find a reason,

To select a team to play that has had a losing season.

Life:  Oh, what we wouldn’t give for a blanket and a piano. 

The onslaught has begun, Christmas shows are all the rage,

Entertainers from Cyrus to Buble are taking to the stage.

Barbara Walters, Grinch and Rudolph will also appear on the TV,

But nothing beats the vision of Charlie Brown’s Christmas tree.

A redposey is never out of season.

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Affairs to Forget

Headlines: Is Cain Able to Handle Situation Gingerly?

Herman Cain provides the fodder for his political foes,

When he sits down with his wife this week to see just what she knows

About friend Ginger White with whom he just had friendly connections,

And he’s hoping to avoid the subject of presidential erections.

 Money: Just What We Need, Another Stock that Isn’t Worth Anything 

Just in time for Christmas you can buy some Packers stock,

So you can put a Cheese Head in that special person’s sock.

But investors should be wary as there’s something to be learned;

The stock, while it brings ownership will bring no monetary return.

 Sports: Keep Manning Manning the Sidelines

Payton Manning’s neck is healing the doctor said this week,

But his comeback for this season still is looking bleak.

We know that he’s a winner, but it cannot be his dream

To stand behind the offensive line of his winless Indy team.

Life: Barbara Wawa Holds A Mirror Up To Our Culture and It Isn’t Pretty

It’s Barbara Walter’s Special night we hope you won’t be late,

She tells us who we really like and who can fascinate.

The Kardashians and Trump are among those who she’ll fete

All in all it sounds like something that we’d just as soon forget.

 Put a tribute in someone’s sock this year

Go to www.redposey.com

ONE DOWN … 434 TO GO.

Headlines:  How can you extort money?  Let me count the ways.

Barney Frank is retiring after three decades in his seat,

Because of the redistricting he thinks he’d go down in defeat.

We’re glad that once he’s gone we’ll no longer get the shaft,

‘Cause he’ll no longer have access to Fannie Mae and graft.

Money:  I still have checks so I must still have money.

Black Friday, Cyber Monday…we’re just so confused,

We can’t even remember which credit card we used.

We got some awesome pricing on deals that can’t be beat,

I’m sure my Uncle Jack will love the canned unicorn meat.

Sports:  Tommy Trojan put down due to fatigue.

Rick Neuheisel was fired after four years on the job,

Losing 50-0 to their rival angered the Bruin alumni mob.

On the plus side, Urban Meyer was picked up at Ohio State,

Hopefully he’ll avoid ol’ Jim Tressel’s fate.

Life:   A little education could have gone a loooong way.

Miley Cyrus has a new video and a protest song’s the lead,

Lauding the “Occupiers” and denouncing corporate greed.

Gee, if we recall correctly, (and I think we do),

It was mean old Disney Corp. that made her dreams come true.

Oh the weather outside is frightening….so why not cheer it up with a redposey?

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The Top 10 Reasons Why Thanksgiving vs Christmas Is My Favorite Holiday

by Bob Sparrow

10.  Only holiday that features eating

9. Don’t have to figure out what to get my 92 year old mother

8. Not as scary as Halloween, not as expensive as Christmas

7. Don’t have to find that one Thanksgiving Day light that keeps the whole string from not lighting

6. Better Post holiday: Eating leftover turkey sandwiches beats taking down the tree, lights and putting away Aunt Mildred’s fruit cake

5. Turkeys are worshiped by all religions

4. Credit card still has room on it

3. Tryptophan puts me to sleep, figuring out what to get my wife keeps me awake

2. No insipid Thanksgiving Day commercials on TV

1. Three days to sober up

PILGRIM’S PROGRESS?

Some thoughts on Thanksgiving by Suzanne Sparrow Watson

I have spent much of my time the past few months writing the history of our family.  My research has taken me to places that I never expected to go. For example, the Napa State Hospital for the Insane where our great-grandfather was housed in 1900.  But that aside, most of our relatives were fine, upstanding people. In fact, a few weeks ago I discovered that we are related to 5 of the seventeen families that came over on the Mayflower. 

I’ve been reading a lot about our relatives, the Pilgrims, and have been reminded of facts I’m sure I learned in school but had long forgotten.  The journey was 66 days long and quite perilous during the latter half of it.  When they landed in Plymouth in November of 1620 there was no reprieve from the cramped confines of the ship.  Most of the passengers had to live on board while the first housing structures were built. The quarters were small to begin with and were not enhanced by two months at sea with no bathing or washing of clothes.  In fact, one of the first things the men did when they landed was to cut down juniper trees to bring on board in an attempt to improve the odor.  Those close quarters and the brutal New England winters caused much illness and disease.  Half of the original passengers died that first winter.  When spring arrived, the remaining crew members eagerly set sail and returned to England.  But the Pilgrims stayed on in Plymouth and continued to build their village.  By the next year, in November of 1621, they celebrated their first bountiful harvest with the native population and that meal has come to symbolize Thanksgiving.

So armed with all of this new knowledge I decided to really celebrate Thanksgiving this year.  My first stop was Target where I went in search of some kitschy decorations – a wreath, a turkey candle, maybe even a Pilgrim hat.  No such luck.  Thanksgiving was relegated to an end post on one aisle.  I was lucky to find an accordion turkey and a paper tablecloth.  Apparently that is the extent to which Target wishes to celebrate the day.  It was the same scenario in store after store.  Somehow we have turned into a society that goes directly from Halloween (a money-making holiday) to Christmas (another money-making holiday).

I think the people who struggled so greatly to establish the first colony in this country deserve a bit more respect.  Would it really be so bad if we focused a bit more on gratitude and a little less on greed?  We could start with Congress and then move on to the Target merchandising department.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Who’s Got The Political Football?

Headlines: Newt Takes the Lead . . . This Week

I’m not so sure which party is enjoying this the most;

The Republicans have a struggling president to roast,

While the Democrats are finding it quite easy to critique

The Republican’s latest offering of the candidate of the week.

Money: Black Thursday Afternoon

A long time Target employee has said Thanksgiving is my day,

But he can never enjoy it because he works on Black Friday.

So the store’s midnight grand opening, he’s trying to appeal

So he doesn’t have to sleep again through his Thanksgiving meal.

Sports: On Which Side Do Mom & Dad Sit?

There is an historic game for you pro football mavens

This Thursday San Francisco plays the Baltimore Ravens

It’s a familial faceoff that’s the big television draw

Each team is being coached by brothers named Harbaugh.

Life: And Now For A Hollywood Moment

Demi’s in Hawaii getting over her divorce;

Taylor Swift has proved again that she a tour de force.

Bieber’s trying to settle some bothersome dispute,

Making sure that he’s not fitted for his first paternity suit.

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WHAT A COUNTRY!

Headlines:  Only in America.

On Thursday Oscar Ramiro Ortega was arrested on the spot,

For driving to the White House to take a well-aimed shot.

The details of the incident show just how diverse we are:

A Latin shooter wields a Romanian gun and drives a Japanese car.

Money:  Honey, I think we need a bigger outlet.

Lincoln still is clueless with their MDX make over,

It’s gets 19 MPG every time you turn it over.

 And AAA announced today that gas prices will give us no relief,

No wonder 20,000 people have reserved themselves a “Leaf”.

Sports:  He didn’t bring his “A” game.

Golf was big this week with the start of the President’s Cup,

But Tiger’s game was absent and he and Stricker just blew up.

Steve Williams, Tiger’s ex-caddie, must be loving this new win,

But one can only hope he’s learned to keep his private thoughts within.

 

Life:  The good, the bad and the “we totally saw this coming”.

This week Justin Timberlake danced at the Marine Corps Ball,

And it turns out Justin Bieber isn’t a father after all.

Regis is leaving Kelly, but the biggest news of course,

Is that Ashton’s little flings made Demi file for divorce.

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Does Anybody’s Government Work?

Headlines: It’s Not My Job

President Giorgio Napolitano, told an irate Italian mob

That fixing his own government was not part of his job.

So to keep the masses happy as they tried to go berserk,

He gave the task to Monti to see if he could make it work.

Money: Saturn Permanently In Orbit

Just as General Motors started writing ink that’s black,

In the Saturn gear shift, inspectors found a little crack.

To places you’re not going, you may just have arrived,

‘Cuz when you put the car in Park it might just be in Drive.

Sports: Where Spirit is Still Alive

Does it seem that sports in general has lost that old rah-rah,

With the stand-off in the NBA and the fall of Coach JoPa.

If you’re looking for a contest that doesn’t have such shame,

Stay in your local neighborhood and catch a high school game.

Life: What if Kennedy Hadn’t Been Assassinated?

Stephen King has written a novel called ‘11/22/63’

About that faithful day in Dallas when we lost John Kennedy.

But of course it has a twist, he’s got history reversed;

In his story someone ends up shooting Harvey Oswald first.

 

Only 40 More Shopping Days Until Christmas and You Still Don’t Know

What to Get Aunt Mildred.

Try: www.redposey.com

 

DUMB ACTS

Headlines:  Maybe the Alzheimer’s test is in order.

Rick Perry had a stumble at the debate the other night,

His fumbling and his stalling suggest his brain has taken flight.

If you have three things to remember and you can only recall two,

Then perhaps the job of President is not the one for you.

Money:  If it’s Thursday the market must be up.

Who the heck can plan their budget in this age of market swings,

Never knowing from week to week what stock prices will bring.

If it isn’t Greece, it’s Italy or some company’s fallen flat,

We need to have a Ouija board – is there an app for that?

Sports:     No, football is not the most important thing…even in Happy Valley.

JoePa’s out at Penn State after sixty-one years,

Resulting in reactions from rioting to tears.

He was a  great coach in his prime but this should be understood,

He didn’t have the courage to stand up when he should.

Life:  We hear Kim Kardashian is available.

Piers Morgan has decided that he will quit his job,

On the “America’s Got Talent” judging panel mob.

His replacement will no doubt need to agree to certain terms:

Humor Sharon’s ramblings and don’t give Howie any germs.

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Can You Tap Dance in Flip Flops?

Headlines: I Feel Strongly Both Ways

Romney’s getting bashed for the changing of his stances;

Is he trying to get ready for some presidential dances?

Some who know him best, have heard that he has said,

“When Obama leaves I hope he leaves his flip flops by the bed.”

Money: Greco-Roman Wrestling

Just as we get the Greeks turned around, so to speak,

It seems that the Euro has sprung another leak.

This time it’s the Italians, their future’s not so sunny;

They gotta dough, they gotta bread, but they ain’t gotta no money.

Sports: Defensive Game is Offensive

Last week we were hyping the Tigers and the Tide,

But LSU and Alabama took us for a ride.

The game had not one touchdown, no great runs, no great passes

Disappointing all the couch potatoes sitting on their asses

Life: He Thought He Was Dr. Kevorkian

The jury’s has come back with manslaughter, involuntary

And Dr. Murray’s comments that followed seemed quite scary

“What was it, drips or shots or was it probing with my scanner?

Or was it just you didn’t seem to like my bedside manner?”

Need a verse?  Find us at

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