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JUDGEMENT DAY

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Yesterday two inmates were killed by lethal injection,

Down in Texas and Georgia there usually isn’t much objection.

Whether they  deserve it or not is for others to ascertain,

But we do know Perry supporters uncorked the champagne.

Bernanke bought $400B in bonds that he calls the “Twist”,

But is it just another plan that will get us riled up and pissed?

Because even though we can refi and have extra dough in our pockets,

Our money will be worthless when inflation skyrockets.

Well now, isn’t it interesting that the NFL’s decided,

To crack down on fake injuries that are ridiculous and misguided.

The conniving teams used them to get more time between downs,

But even this new ruling won’t help the hapless Browns.

“X-Factor” debuted last night, Simon Cowell is back for more,

Praising acts he loves, and shredding those that he abhors.

He says that it’s not “Idol”, it’s more polished and honed,

But one thing is the same: figuring out if Paula’s stoned.

How about a twist on the traditional Christmas letter?  We can capture your whole year in verse (even the over-achieving kids).

Visit www.redposey.com

Poker Ponzi?

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Our embassy opens in Tripoli soon,

With rebels just catching their breath.

To inspire them, we’ve put up a banner that says,

‘Give me Libya or give me death’

A waiter’s attention is oft hard to get

And sometimes they make a mistake.

So restaurants are putting their menu on iPads,

Now your server is never on break.

The league has been called the Pac 8, 10 and 12,

But there won’t be a Pac 16 now.

To Oklahoma they’ve talked and to Texas as well,

But to both they have finally said, ciao.

Full Tilt Poker is one of the top poker sites,

But we’re told that it’s not what it seems.

They say Texas Hold ‘Em’s the game that they play,

But they’re playing a big Ponzi scheme.

 —

 What the hell is a redposey?

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Metta World Peace? Give Me A Break!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Let’s start with a drug deal gone terribly wrong
For some skanky drug dealers in far off Hong Kong.
A ton of cocaine was in boxes, bags, hoses,
Which is better than finding it up our kid’s noses.

What’s this change going on in the fast food restaurants?
Now it’s lettuce, tomatoes, healthy food that they flaunt.
We use to go there for double burgers and fries,
Now it yogurt they’re asking if we want super-sized.

Isaac Newton was known for his bodies in motion,
His laws and his apple caused quite a commotion.
Cam Newton’s the body that’s in motion this season;
Passing 800 yards in two games is the reason.

Ron Artesst changed his name to Metta World Peace,
Now he’s Dancing With The Stars, I guess wonders never cease.
As the dance that we’ll remember is when a fan he chased,
As he waltzed into the bleachers and punched him in the face.

– – –

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IT’S ALL IN A GAME

Monday, September 19, 2011

Palestine this week will go before the United Nations,

To recognize it’s statehood and keep Israel in isolation.

Obama is urging a veto in this unending game of chess,

But it seems no matter what they do, it’s always the same old mess.

Atlantic City wants to capitalize on a familiar use of its name,

And has built a life-size edition of the Monopoly game.

So we were wondering since the pieces are really built to scale,

Will people really have to “Pass Go” and go directly into jail?

The conferences in college football have become a baffling muddle,

It’s a wonder that the QB even knows who’s in the huddle.

Syracuse and Penn’s move to the ACC is the latest deal that’s done,

And yet we still don’t have a good way to determine who’s #1.

Rosie O’Donnell will be unveiling her new show on Oprah’s OWN,

We’ll see if she’s calmed down or if she’s still so overblown.

She’s taking over Oprah’s studio, her producers and her staff,

But will all that good karma ward-off  her usual string of gaffes?

Surprise your friends or family members with a tribute! 

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SAVING FACE

Friday, September 16, 2011

 

 

That nut-job Ahmadinejad may give an early release,

To the two American hikers, for half a million bucks apiece.

It might be reasonable to ask as a condition of their bail,

That next time they confine themselves to the Appalachian Trail.

Seems plastic surgery clinics are the fastest growing biz,

To take care of those who don’t appreciate their face “as is”.

However, some performing the surgeries are not really qualified,

Leaving the patients feeling – and looking – very petrified.

This weekend is the anticipated Mayweather-Ortiz fight,

It promises to be a smash-up, with insults thrown all night.

Mayweather thinks that Ortiz is a punk and rather new,

And that HBO should honor him and call it “May-per-view”.

Sunday night the Emmy’s will reward the year’s best shows,

Some will be deserving, and some just really blow.

We can only hope the reality craze is deemed a passing fad,

Or we’ll have to brace ourselves for more seasons of “Bachelor Pad”.

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EVERYONE’S ATWITTER

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Bob Turner has won Wiener’s New York congressional seat,

Republicans hope that means Obama will go down in defeat.

We don’t know if that is true, but we know how to win a race,

Don’t Twitter your private parts in an attempt to reach first base.

Many young Americans are now moving to the Far East,

That’s where they can find jobs and have their salaries increased.

While their parents will surely miss them, no matter what they may espouse,

They secretly are ecstatic to have them move out of the house.

Boise State football is now the next in line,

To have recruiting violations and receive a NCAA fine.

While we agree that no student should be paid to play defense,

Do they really need to punish a purchase of two dollars, thirty-four CENTS?

Demi Moore is in her 40’s and often in the public view,

One time even naked, covered completely with tattoos.

Now she’s posted on Twitter a nude picture of her back,

At what age will she begin to give us a little slack?

Have a birthday or anniversary coming up? 

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The Good News

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

We went looking for some good news as the paper we perused,

Determined we could make a happy rhyme.

We looked in every section from the headlines to Op/Ed

And here’s the best of all that we could I find.

We found that household income reached its lowest point in years

We thought perhaps the figures were corrupt,

But after sifting through the numbers we determined with a smile

That the only place for us to go is up.

 The Cubs are twenty games behind, their losing streak’s intact,

But they keep on filling Wrigley Field with cheer.

One hundred three years pass, without a Series win,

But they keep saying, “Wait until next year.”

Debates and White House speeches fill TV’s prime time slots;

They help us choose who we should be approving.

Sometimes they’re fast and loose with facts, but the good thing we found out

Is they tell the truth . . . unless their lips are moving.

What’s a ‘wall flower’?  Find out at our website at:

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State of the States

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

As we shuffle through the news in USA Today,

We find things are disturbing on this bright September day.

 –

Texas is a state where things are looking dire;

They’re dealing with an awful drought and devastating fire.

 –

California, in its bankrupt state, wants to pass this new addition,

Of giving forty million to illegals for their tuition.

 –

And down in Charlotte, BofA, still fighting mortgage woes

Are letting 30,000 go, as down their stock price goes.

 –

In the Open in New York, Djokovic wins with class,

But Serena grabs the headlines, not with racket but with sass.

 –

And Jackie, from her grave, has quite a bit to say

As she disses MLK along with LBJ.

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It’s seems there’s lots of problems, but I think most would agree,

That there’s no other place on earth that we would rather be.

If you’d like a personal poem or tribute, visit our website at:

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Only 104 Shopping Days ’til Christmas

Thank you all for a record viewing weekend and your nice comments about our 911 tributes.  Now back to something lighter.

Monday, September 12, 2011

You know that Rick Perry was once a big Dem.?

Now as governor of Texas, he can hardly stand them.

He campaigned for Al Gore at their national convention

And prob’ly had a hand in his Internet invention.

A$ I wandered through Co$tco on a day in $eptember,

I $aw holiday trinket$, like it wa$ December.

We all know the rea$on for thi$ premature cheer;

 Gue$$ it’s good-bye to $ummer and Happy New Year!

The streets are again now free of some thugs.

While domestic abuse, the guns and the drugs

Are all in decline around this time of year;

The National Football League season is here.

Ashton Kutcher is now the new ‘Man’ on the scene;

He is taking the place of whacked-out Charlie Sheen.

On the set he is always seen laughing and grinning

And why shouldn’t he, he’s the one that is ‘WINNING!’

 —

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“Is Stephanie Alright?” – A 9/11 Experience

Sunday, September 11, 2011                                                                        By Bob Sparrow

     I was awakened by a phone call at around 6:20 a.m. on September 11, 2001.  It was my mother-in-law from Minnesota; she asked, “Is Stephanie alright?”  I said something like, “I guess so, why?”  She said, “Turn on the TV, there’s been a bombing in New York.”  My heart sank.  My daughter, Stephanie was living in New York for the past several years; she had recently graduated from the American Musical and Dramatic Academy and was pursuing a Broadway career.

     After turning on the TV and trying to comprehend what was happening, I immediately tried to call Stephanie on her cell phone.  Of course, there was no cell phone service available in New York at that time.  I called her apartment several times and finally got through and was able to talk with her roommate.  She told me that Stephanie had gone into Manhattan that morning for an acting class, but assured me not to worry, that the class was in ‘mid-town’, not ‘down town’ where the bombing had taken place.  I wasn’t assured.  All kinds of scenarios raced through my head placing Stephanie ‘down town’.  As it turned out, she was indeed on a subway to her class in Greenwich Village, which is ‘down town’!

    I continued to call Stephanie’s cell phone even though I realized there was little to no hope of getting through – I just had to do something!  I called her roommate about every 20-30 minutes to ask if she’d heard from her.  She had not.  I was experiencing this American tragedy in a very personal way.  While I was shocked at what I was hearing and watching on television, my overriding concerns were not about who did this to us and why, but rather where is my daughter and is she alright?

     Five agonizingly long hours pass; at 11:30 our phone finally rings.  At that time we didn’t have ‘Caller ID’, so we didn’t know if it was Stephanie or someone calling us to tell us some news we didn’t want to hear.  When that familiar, though audibly shaken, voice came on the phone and said, “Hi Dad, I’m OK”, I cried and found something to be happy about on that tragic day.  She later related her experience to me.  She was on a subway heading to Greenwich Village that morning, but the subway stopped prior to getting there and she was stuck underground for about a half an hour before it came to a station and she got out.  She came up from the subway and saw people standing in the middle of the street staring at the towers of the World Trade Center which were engulfed in smoke.  Soon after she joined them she saw the first (north) tower collapse.  She hurried over to where her acting class was meeting and ended up sitting with the class for several hours, listening to the news and trying to figure out what was going on.  She then decided to try to get home.  She was fortunate enough to find a cab that would take her only as far as mid-town, where she got out and went to Houston’s, the restaurant where she worked, looking for a familiar face, but found that it was closed.  An eerie feeling pervaded mid-town, but it had not turned to panic.  She was determined to get back to her apartment in Queens, but with no public transportation operating, she joined the throngs of people walking out of Manhattan across the Queensboro Bridge.  On her way home she saw thousands of people already queuing up to give blood.

     She was understandably shaken by her proximity to this horrific event, and when she came home to California for Christmas three months later, she decided to stay.  She has returned to New York several times over the last ten years and enjoys all that the ‘Big Apple’ has to offer, but will never forget that day ten years ago when she witnessed history.