The news is getting worse with time;
Sometimes we get too pissed to rhyme.
Headlines: Are you sh*ting me? Our fiscal year ends Friday and our elected representatives are politicking, brinksmanshiping, threatening another government shutdown as the Disaster Relief Funds has become a political football. You know who really needs Disaster Relief? We do; the disaster is the people running our government. Democrat, Republican or Independent, I’m campaigning for anyone who isn’t an incumbent.
Money: Are you sh*ting me? Quit sugar-coating it, the stock market is nothing like a roller coaster ride – at least there’s some enjoyment there; we’re walking under a piano that’s being dropped from a three-story building. We don’t know about you, but we certainly can’t figure out what the Germans are going to do about the Greeks or what the Chinese are going to do with all our debt. Best money idea – backyard, coffee can, shovel.
Sports: Are you sh*ting me? The Dallas Cowboys win a game where the only way they score is by kicking 6 field goals. If you can’t score a touchdown, you shouldn’t win the game. Rumor has it that the Cowboys were inspired by the following quote that was hanging in their locker room: “I keek a touchdown” Garo Yepremian, 1966
Life: Are you sh*ting me? Saudi Arabia might be allowing women to vote . . . in 2015! However Saudi women will still not be able to travel, work, marry, get divorced, be admitted to a hospital or live independently without permission from a male guardian. Can you say oil independence?
And one last thing: Are you sh*ting me? Our financially strapped government is looking to provide college scholarships to illegal aliens. Not that our elected
representative should know the law or anything, but that is aiding and abetting
a criminal . . . and that’s a FELONY.
Have a nice day!