By Suzanne Sparrow Watson
This blog was supposed to be about Santa Fe. I had planned a trip there last weekend to attend a birthday bash for one of my closest friends. I planned to eat a lot, drink too much and soak in the sites. I planned to roast her with a birthday tribute and re-connect with old friends. Those were my plans. But on the Tuesday prior to the event the honoree’s 45 year-old daughter died of a pulmonary embolism. Suddenly, our plans changed. Instead of flying off for a fun, celebratory weekend in Santa Fe, we were boarding a plane to Chicago to attend funeral services. Oh, how quickly our lives can change.
As we reach “senior status” it becomes more common to experience loss. In the last five years both my brother and I have lost our mother and our childhood best friend. Numerous friends have lost spouses or are supporting them through life-changing illnesses. Somehow we expect to encounter these events as we grow older. But losing a 45 year-old, in the prime of her life, happily married and with a 12 year-old daughter just seems so wrong. It is wrong. And it is a good reminder that tomorrow is not guaranteed for any of us.
That notion was hammered home to me many years ago when a friend lost her husband to cancer at an early age. After his diagnosis she lamented, “I think about all the hours I stayed at the office doing busy work when I could have gone home. I wish I had those hours back.” Her sincere regret about her prioritization had a profound affect on me. After that I never spent more time at work than I needed to. I resisted the “how late did you work last night?” competition that seemed to pervade every workplace. I had seen first-hand the downside of that game. It was a good – if painful – lesson on making sure those around us know how important they are. It’s why, as sappy as it sounds, I never leave the house without telling my husband that I love him and I end each day by telling Dash the Wonder Dog how much I appreciate all that he does for us. Dogs don’t live nearly as long as they should. But then again, neither do some very good people.
My friend’s life is forever changed and those who care about their family are also struggling to make some sense of it. I think most people when faced with these horrible events take some stock. It’s a good reminder that we can’t take anything for granted. All of our checklists, day planners and to-do lists can be just wishful thinking. And it’s a wake-up call (at least for me) on how we spend time. It’s too easy to get sucked into surfing the internet on the iPad or watching dog videos. It’s also worth remembering that not all things – or all people – are worth our time. We need to make each day count, spent with people and activities than enrich, rather than detract. For me the only small way that I can think of to pay tribute to a life lost too soon is to cherish every day I’m given and live it to the fullest.
Rest in peace, dear Staci D’Ancona Levy.