Headlines: We’re guessing this was not funded by the One-A-Day company.
Multivitamins are now bad for us, was the latest news today,
Causing heart attacks, cancer, and heck, probably tooth decay.
If they banish all the vitamins we think that we’ll be fine,
We’ll stick with the tried and true – dark chocolate and red wine.
Money: It’s the G. I. Joe of soft drinks.
Dr. Pepper has introduced a new diet drink called DP10,
With silver bullets as its décor, they say it’s aimed at men.
Really? They think the décor will make a macho man try it?
Only if it has boobs on the can will most men ask for “diet”.
Sports: Did someone say “perfect endings”?
The weekend saw two fitting tributes in the world of sports,
Proving that when it comes to games it really takes all sorts.
The Raiders won for Al Davis, baby, in an emotional scene,
And a fan launched a hot dog at Tiger while he was putting on the green.
Life: Is there no such thing as “too personal” anymore?
Sharon Osbourne was off “The Talk” and it caused a bit of doubt,
But then she said she was absent to have her implants taken out.
She went on to say that one breast had grown longer and had leaked,
Gee, just hearing she was absent is when my interest level peaked.
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