GUNS AND ROSES: THE CHINESE EDITION

Headlines:  Is that a bulge in your purse or are you happy to see me?

The latest trend, it seems, is women owning guns,

They’re buying up firearms and ammo by the tons.

Some are shooting for the pleasure and some for their protection,

And some want to meet a man and find their “firing” connection.

 Money:  How do you say “strike” in Mandarin?

Wal-Mart is acquiring a Chinese shopping giant,

Hoping that their shoppers will become low-price reliant.

Meanwhile Apple has its hand full with its Foxconn dive,

No doubt that these two firms will spawn a Chinese union drive.

Sports:  Be afraid, be very afraid.

Jeremy Lin is denouncing the latest rumor hype,

Says he’s not dating Kim Kardashian, that she’s just not his type.

He may just be a bit naïve, laying his emotions out so bare,

‘Cause he’s a sports star in the spotlight – and she is so there.

Life:  A cautionary tale.

Whitney Houston “went home” in an elaborate celebration,

With singing and testimonies that were three hours in duration.

At the same time SNL announced Lindsay Lohan soon will host,

We’re hoping she’ll sober up and take advice from Whitney’s ghost.

Subscribe to our blog and have it come right to your email.  We can be a refreshing break from ads and friends asking for money.

EVERYBODY HAS A BONE TO PICK

Headlines:  Some of these people can’t tell Groucho from Karl. 

The Occupy Wall Street group continues to rant and wail,

Pointing out that it’s just wrong to have a firm “too big to fail”.

But amongst the valid points and the demonstrating mood,

It would appear that some are there just to pick up the free food.

Money:  It’s nice to know that the same lame excuses are bi-lingual.

The Chinese head of Wal-Mart has announced he’ll leave his post,

“To spend time with his family” is what he tried to boast.

But we’ve been around the block and we recognize chagrin,

It seems our best export to China is the ability to spin.

Sports:  We can’t wait for the rematch.

The Series has been set and now we know which teams to cheer,

And in college the BCS released its first standings of the year.

But the coaches stole the story in the 49er’s and Lion’s fight,

And it’s kinda hard to decide whether Harbaugh or Schwartz was right.

Life:  Perhaps Bjork was his inspiration? 

Amidst Clooney’s new flick and “The Walking Dead” premiere,

This weekend brought us news that caused both dread and fear.

Stephen Tyler, that hot mess, will now sell clothes for the rich and hip,

We’re thinking the only thing worse is if he made liner for our lips.

If you need to say something but just don’t know how, visit www.redposey.com and we’ll help you out!