Tag Archives: USA Today

Posted in News

Back to School . . . Congress!

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Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Our congress can’t play well with others,

Or use their time wisely it seems;

They’re just coming in from their recess,

Firmly set in their partisan teams.

Off to school go our kids for the learning

Of lessons about right and wrong,

Maybe kids can help to teach congress

Some lessons in getting along.

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Yahoo has put Carol Bartz in the gang

With the likes of Koogle and Semel and Yang

All past CEOs, who were given the shoo

Seems there’s not much to Yahoo about at Yahoo!

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In New York, Open play for both gals and guys

Was halted because of the threatening skies.

With no roof on the courts, in the water came rushing;

What would you expect at the Meadows called Flushing?

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Eddie Murphy’s been picked to host the next Oscar,

 An improvement’s a virtual lock;

For he follows James Franco whose face had the look

Of a man who’d been under a rock.

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Posted in News

Obama’s Pre-game Speech

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Friday, September 2, 2011

Obama set his speech to Congress, next Wednesday was the date,

But Boehner said, that is the day of the GOP debate.

So he moved the speech to Thursday, but the time won’t be the same,

‘Cause he knows he can’t compete with the Saints and Packers’ game.

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Chrysler’s on an up-tick, so Motor Trend reports;

Their sales are beating GM, Ford and the imports?

They’re selling trucks and minivans , cars in their bigger class;

How quickly we don’t care again about the price of gas.

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When it comes to franchise owners, LA seems to come up short,

From Georgia Frontiere to that blow hard, Frank McCourt.

If a Dodgers sale goes through, it could give us all angina,

As the gloves and shoes, now payroll, will all be made in China.

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JayLo and Mark Anthony – it looks like that gig’s over.

It seems that little Marky boy is quite the Latin rover.

Mark found a nice hotel room, but who did he check in with?

It’s hard to say because she signed in as a ‘Mrs. Smith’.

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Posted in News

Dick Time

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Wednesday, August 31, 2011

With Rice and Powell firmly under the bus

Chaney’s new book has caused quite a fuss.

If you read In My Time I think you would find

That it should have been called, In My Own Mind.

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The car-sharing Zipcar is making a deal

With Ford and their Focus, the high-tech mobile.

If it works it will help college kids get around,

If not, they’ll be caught with their zipper down.

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When Hurricanes are mentioned, you think of Irene,

But the Hurricanes of Miami, though not as obscene,

Have put college football in water that’s hot;

We think that the Cheetah should be their mascot.

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Movies this summer they say were a snooze;

With Conan and Aliens, that isn’t big news.

Kids must have been facebooking or tweeting for fun;

Even Captain America couldn’t hit a home run.

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Money Whoas

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Tuesday, August 30, 2011

The Pentagon rented containers to use briefly in Iraq,

Never dreaming 10 years later they still would not be back.

So now the final late fee charge is darn close to $1B,

The generals would all be fired if they pulled that as civilians.

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Americans, it seems, are cutting back on debt,

Tired of stress and strain that causes them to fret.

We’re cutting up the cards, giving credit lines the freeze,

That will teach those bankers to charge outrageous fees.

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Michael Vick has a new contract to QB another year,

The Eagles will pay $100M in hopes he’ll cause the fans to cheer.

He says that as a person he has grown – improved his traits,

Maybe we should let the dogs be the ones to evaluate.

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Mel Gibson’s in two courts this week and won’t have many laughs,

His gal pal will get millions to compensate for all his gaffes.

Meanwhile his ex-wife will be receiving  her financial part,

Putting the final stake in the wallet of “Braveheart”.

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Little is Big

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Monday, August 29, 2011

Irene’s wiped out bridges and road in her wake;

Caused death and destruction and lots of heartache.

The lesson that’s learned on this wet Monday morn

Is that there is no fury, like a woman who’s scorned.

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The story of short sales and banks is confusing

The banks have to win while the homeowner’s losing.

They made the bad loans, but their actions are numbing;

As they won’t lift a hand ‘til the payments stop coming.

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This week fans of tennis all will be rushing

To take in the Open at the meadows in Flushing.

But the game’s in decline for U.S. women and men,

There’s only one player in both ranking’s top ten.

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What a joy to see baseball played like a game;

No contracts, no hold outs, no unions to blame.

The joy of just playing, the tears and the smiles;

The Little League game beats ‘the bigs’ by a mile.

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Good Night – Irene!

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Friday, August 26, 2011

Hurricane Irene is gaining potency and power,

The whole East Coast is bracing for what she might devour.

The Outer Banks may take the brunt, the worst in many years,

Now everyone’s evacuating with everything held dear.

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Warren Buffet bought BofA stock, preferred shares, of course,

Some say he’s saved the struggling bank, riding in on his white horse.

But there’s a reason he’s the Oracle, smarter than most civilians,

In the first day his investment paid off $1.45 Billion!

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Danica Patrick has decided to leave Indy cars behind,

And race the NASCAR circuit, the Nationwide is on her mind.

But she won’t be bringing her Go Daddy style to a Sprint Cup pit,

First she needs to learn new skills: how to chew and how to spit.

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The VMA’s will be on Sunday, wonder if we’ll see Madonna?

We could always catch a flick, “Our Idiot Brother” or “Colombiana”.

Or we could catch Glen Campbell’s concert, but we’ll need lots of Kleenex,

For when he sings, one last time, “By the Time I Get To Phoenix”.

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Core of Apple Leaves

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Thursday, August 25, 2011

iGuess that we suspected it, Steve Jobs has said good-bye.

iWonder if at Apple there was even one dry eye.

iMac, iPod, iPad, iTouch, he changed the way we play,

iKnow for all the industry, it’s truly one sad day.

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What is the panacea for that fickle Dow-Jones ticker;

Going short or going long or just going for some liquor?

Will gold go past two thousand, or will it stay beneath?

If it hits that magic number we’ll probably sell our teeth.

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Cam Newton, out of Auburn, was drafted number one,

And hopes to show the NFL how he can pass and run.

He studies hard the play book to gain that QB knowledge,

And is making just a little more than he was paid in college.

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In the Shadow of My Father, a new movie being shot

Is about John Gotti and his son; a family mafia plot.

Travolta and Pacino and Lohan they will use,

In hopes of making one great film that no one can refuse.

Posted in News

The Pigs in the Market

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Friday, August 19, 2011

That little piggy put gold in his shopping cart.

And that little piggy bought short, they’re looking oh so smart.

But this little piggy took advice from his broker on the phone

And now I’m going wee wee wee back to my foreclosed home.

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Wells Fargo plans to charge a fee to use their debit card;

Another act of greed imposed without customer regard.

They made some bad decisions making loans that were sub-prime,

Now they plan to get their millions back, three dollars at a time.

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Goodell told Terrelle Pryor that the things he did in school

Will be punished by the NFL – did he just make that rule?

As Roger looks around the league I wonder, could it be

That Reggie Bush will sit out games for sins at USC?

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Katy Perry just tied Michael, no, not for wardrobe glitz,

But for making just one album with five number one hits.

She was the first female to do it, but that feat’s a little shady;

Though Michael was born a poor Afro male, he die a rich, white lady.

Posted in News

Perry, Bernanke and Tiger, Oh My!

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Thursday, August 18th

The U.S. wants Assad to step aside,

We can no longer tolerate his genocide.

Perry slams Bernanke, Obama’s on a bus,

But is anyone really looking out for us?

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Newspapers are being stolen in moves quite rash,

So coupons can be clipped to save extra cash.

The Justice Department is probing S&P,

HHS proposes clear language for health policies.

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The “death penalty” may be invoked on Miami,

And Suh has been hit with a fine that’s a whammy.

Expanded MLB playoffs are now in doubt,

And Freddy may pick Tiger to help the team out.

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Kim Kardashian is consulting with Vera Wang,

Brian Wilson’s re-writing songs for the Disney gang.

“Watch the Throne” now rules the music world,

And wouldn’t it have been better if Depardieu had just hurled?