{"id":1702,"date":"2013-05-13T06:00:50","date_gmt":"2013-05-13T13:00:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/morningnewsinverse.com\/?p=1702"},"modified":"2013-05-25T02:05:15","modified_gmt":"2013-05-25T09:05:15","slug":"africa-its-a-jungle-out-there","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/?p=1702","title":{"rendered":"African Diary – Part 1 It’s A Jungle Out There"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Bob Sparrow<\/p>\n

\"Lion\"<\/a>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0I<\/strong> hear a low snorting sound just outside my tent . . . or was it inside?\u00a0 I lay perfectly still and slowly open my eyes and furtively search the darkness for movement.\u00a0 I hear rhythmic breathing and feel the warm breath of an animal on my face \u2013 or am I just imagining it?\u00a0 As my eyes adjust to the darkness I see the rustling of the canvas tent next to me.\u00a0 The snorting becomes louder, the breathing heavier. What\u2019s out there . . . or in here?\u00a0 My imagination is running wild. \u00a0We were forewarned that the \u2018Big 5\u2019 (Lion, Elephant, Cape Buffalo, Leopard and Rhinoceros)<\/strong> are curious animals and might wander into camp looking for food.\u00a0 I wondered: Am I food? \u00a0I slowly rolled over to glance in the direction of the breathing . . . it was my wife.\u00a0 I wake up in a cold sweat in my bed at home.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m headed to Africa<\/strong> this week, so my imagination may be turned up a few notches, but if you, like me, thought all the dangers were out in the African savanna<\/strong>, think again.\u00a0 Like any good traveler I\u2019ve been doing some research on points of interest that I\u2019ll be seeing over the next couple of weeks and while I\u2019ve learned what the \u2018Big 5\u2019 of African wildlife are, I\u2019ve compiled my own \u2018Big 2\u2019<\/strong> that I\u2019ll be looking out for as well:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Man\n
      \n
    1. S. Africa has one of the world\u2019s highest rate of murders, assaults and rapes \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/li>\n
    2. Over 17 million<\/strong> people in sub-Saharan Africa have died of AIDS<\/strong><\/li>\n
    3. Around 50 people are murdered<\/strong> in South Africa every day<\/li>\n
    4. Drivers \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0i. \u00a0Cab drivers<\/strong> will scam you, rip you off, take you for a ride<\/p>\n

      \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0ii. Safari drivers<\/strong> have little to no regard for you back or kidneys<\/p>\n

      \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 2. Mosquitos\u00a0– Every 30 seconds<\/strong> someone in Africa dies of malaria<\/strong><\/p>\n

      \"mosquito\"<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0 \u00a0 S<\/strong>ounds fun, doesn\u2019t it?\u00a0 Those at the South African Chamber of Commerce will tell you that all major cities around the world have high crime rates.\u00a0 I looked up \u2013 New York, in the summer when crime is the highest, has about 50 murders a month<\/span>.\u00a0 But I know that if I stay away from the wrong people and wrong places in Africa I\u2019ll be fine \u2013 as long as they stay away from me.\u00a0 Here are the \u2018Big 5\u2019 \u2018animals\u2019 I\u2019m going to try to avoid:<\/p>\n

        \n
      1. The Robber<\/li>\n
      2. The Mugger<\/li>\n
      3. The AIDS carrier<\/li>\n
      4. The Malaria-infested Mosquito<\/li>\n
      5. The Cab Driver<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        Indeed, it is a jungle out there. \u00a0So why go to Africa, you ask?\u00a0 It is a beautiful country with an incredibly rich history and lots of amazing animals \u2013 and I want to see where Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie<\/strong> get their kids.<\/p>\n

        All kidding aside (I really wasn\u2019t kidding) below is the abbreviated itinerary for your Man-on-the-Savanna to bring you an up-close and personal look (from my warped perspective) at Africa.<\/p>\n

        \u00a0LAX<\/strong> to London<\/strong><\/p>\n

        London<\/strong> to Johannesburg<\/strong><\/p>\n

        Johannesburg<\/strong> to Cape Town<\/strong> (Finally!)<\/p>\n

        Cape Town site seeing (3 days)<\/p>\n

        Sabi Sand Game Reserve<\/strong> \u2013 (3 days)<\/p>\n

        Johannesburg \u2013 1 day<\/p>\n

        Victoria Falls, Zembabwe<\/strong> (2 days)<\/p>\n

        Home<\/p>\n

        If any of my writing gets lost in translation it\u2019s because there are over 2,000 languages spoken in Africa<\/strong> (This is one of many \u2018interesting tidbits\u2019 that I\u2019ll be reporting back to you with).\"sardines\"<\/a><\/p>\n

        Signing off from LAX where I will be packed, sardine-like<\/strong>, into a metal tube floating through the sky for the next 26 hours.<\/p>\n

         <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

        by Bob Sparrow \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0I hear a low snorting sound just outside my tent . . . or was it inside?\u00a0 I lay perfectly still and slowly open my eyes and furtively search the darkness for movement.\u00a0 I hear … read more<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[813],"tags":[978,987,988,986,980,981,983,984,989,979,985,982],"class_list":["post-1702","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-travel","tag-africa","tag-angelina-jolie","tag-big-five","tag-brad-pitt","tag-cape-town","tag-johannesburg","tag-malaria","tag-sabi-sand-game-reserve","tag-safari","tag-south-africa","tag-victoria-falls","tag-zimbabwe"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p31aN0-rs","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1702","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1702"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1702\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1704,"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1702\/revisions\/1704"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1702"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1702"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1702"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}