![\"Me](\"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/completed-stump.jpg\")
<\/a>Me – on a slope that looks nothing like the Downhill.<\/p><\/div>\n
Today is a sad day for me – the Olympics<\/strong> are over. \u00a0Champions were crowned, losers were consoled, and the women’s hockey team grabbed defeat from the jaws of victory. \u00a0I am a huge fan of the Olympics – Winter more than Summer. \u00a0I think that’s because I relate more to winter sports. \u00a0Oh sure, I was on the swim team in high school and did some gymnastics well into college, but let’s just say I wasn’t too graceful at either sport. \u00a0In fact, someone rather close to me commented that I moved like a hippopotamus in three feet of mud. \u00a0But the winter sports! Just strap something on my feet and put me on a slippery surface and I’m golden. \u00a0So for the past two weeks I have watched the skiers and the skaters with envy and unbridled enthusiasm. \u00a0I have to admit that the slopestyle skiing and snowboarding of any ilk is way beyond me and my knees hurt just\u00a0watching\u00a0<\/em> the aerial skiers. \u00a0But I actually commented to my husband during the downhill ski race, “I could do that!”<\/strong>. \u00a0He ignored me, sure that I was just making another of my Walter Mitty-type \u00a0comments. \u00a0But in my heart, I really do think that I could ski an Olympic downhill course. \u00a0Because even though I’m 63, I\u00a0think\u00a0<\/em>I’m 45.<\/p>\n I’m a Gold Medal winner in Doughnuts<\/p><\/div>\n I mentioned this to a friend the other day and she told me she had suffered from the same delusions until she took the Real Age Test<\/strong>. \u00a0She suggested that I go online\u00a0to\u00a0Dr. Oz’s website and see just how old my body is. \u00a0Simple enough. \u00a0I began by answering some obvious questions – Do I Have Aches and Pains? \u00a0Do I Suffer from Digestive Tract issues? \u00a0Am I Often Anxious? \u00a0I was sailing through these questions – any moron could answer this stuff. \u00a0But then wise Dr. Oz started throwing in some trickier subjects like “How Much Do You Drink?”. \u00a0Hmmmm….this was a stumper. \u00a0Our doctor told us that he automatically DOUBLES the answer his patients tell him\u00a0when asked this question. \u00a0So my first quandary was to determine if Dr. Oz is as wily as our doctor. \u00a0Not that I drink that much anymore but still…I was trying to determine my Real Age here and I didn’t want to have the alcohol algorithm adding any extra time. \u00a0Secondly, there’s the whole seasonal factor. \u00a0I drink more in winter because we go out more in winter. \u00a0So do I average the number over the whole year or answer for right now? \u00a0This was not going to be easy. \u00a0I moved on to food. \u00a0Fruits and vegetables have never been my strong suit. \u00a0We bought a VitaMix<\/strong> a couple of years ago thinking that we would make green smoothies every day but so far I’ve found that it whips up a pretty mean ice cream gin fizz. \u00a0Actually, we’re fairly healthy eaters but when faced with a piece of cake or a fresh piece of sourdough bread I have all the willpower of a six-year-old at a birthday party. \u00a0Finally, the smartypants people who devised this test ask about your “feelings”. \u00a0But not just depression or how often you laugh inappropriately. \u00a0They ask you to rate your belief in statements like “Most People Would Lie To Get Ahead”. \u00a0Jeez!! \u00a0OF COURSE most people do that. \u00a0I worked in Human Resources for 32 years and I could tell you stories about made up crap on resumes that would make your hair stand on end. \u00a0But…I could see the sneaky Dr. Oz baiting me on this one – if I answer truthfully he will “age” me because I am a negative, cynical, old<\/strong> bitty who always sees the glass half empty. \u00a0So I lied.<\/p>\n Proof that Attitude is Everything!<\/p><\/div>\n When I completed their barrage of questions I felt like I’d been grilled by a prison guard at Gitmo. \u00a0I was sweating bullets, just waiting for them to calculate my Real Age. \u00a0Turns out I’m not 45, I’m 57. \u00a0 They gave me all sort of pats on the back for some healthful living and congratulated me on being younger than my actual age. \u00a0Still…even at 57 I guess I’m too old to ski the downhill course. \u00a0So instead I’ve decided I’m going to focus on Figure Skating<\/strong>. \u00a0A few years ago I laced up some skates in Sun Valley and made it around the WHOLE rink once before falling. \u00a0Oh sure, it wasn’t exactly a double Axel but it’s a start. \u00a0And my new hero is Yvonne Dowlen, pictured here, who is still figure skating at 87 years old. \u00a0She says that if she can walk, she can skate. \u00a0I like her attitude; I’d venture a guess that\u00a0she’s never even come close to taking a Real Age test. \u00a0And I suspect that when the doctor asks her how many drinks she has per week she gives him a steely-eyed look and tells him to mind his own damn business.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" By Suzanne Sparrow Watson Today is a sad day for me – the Olympics are over. \u00a0Champions were crowned, losers were consoled, and the women’s hockey team grabbed defeat from the jaws of victory. \u00a0I am a huge fan of … read more<\/a><\/a>