{"id":265,"date":"2011-10-06T07:30:05","date_gmt":"2011-10-06T14:30:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/morningnewsinverse.com\/?p=265"},"modified":"2011-10-06T07:30:05","modified_gmt":"2011-10-06T14:30:05","slug":"a-lap-band-for-the-universe","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/?p=265","title":{"rendered":"A LAP-BAND FOR THE UNIVERSE"},"content":{"rendered":"<p align=\"left\"><strong>Headlines: Does My ASStroid look big in this? <\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\">The Nobel Prize went to three guys whose find was quite distracting;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\">The universe, they proved, is expanding not contracting.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\">Just like us, it\u2019s getting bigger, so now it needs to trim<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\">By eating right and spending time in its Universal Gym.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\"><strong>&#8211;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p align=\"left\"><strong>Money: But can it put the seat down on the toilet?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\">The iPhone 4S was just rolled out<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\">To some apathetic cheers;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\">The big thing: it talks back to you,<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\">But my spouse has done that for years.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\">&#8211;<\/p>\n<p align=\"left\"><strong>Sports: Sports Shorts <\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\">The D\u2019back beat the Brewers to take it to game five,<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\">\u00a0And the Phillies beat St. Louis to keep their hopes alive.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\">The NBA looks ready, but Tiger still has warts;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\">Iowa\u2019s got NASCAR and that\u2019s your day in sports.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\">&#8211;<\/p>\n<p align=\"left\"><strong>Life: Steve Jobs \u00a01955-2011<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\">Let\u2019s take time out to recognize an iCon in our time;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\">The CEO of Apple leaves us in his prime.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\">He was simply like no other, such an innovative guy,<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\">We\u2019ll think of him each time we see that uncapped Apple \u2018i\u2019<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\">&#8211;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\"><strong>Need a writer?\u00a0 Need something written?\u00a0 <\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\"><strong>Tough time expressing yourself in writing?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\"><strong>Visit<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.redposey.com\">www.redposey.com<\/a> <\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\"><strong>We can help!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Headlines: Does My ASStroid look big in this? The Nobel Prize went to three guys whose find was quite distracting; The universe, they proved, is expanding not contracting. Just like us, it\u2019s getting bigger, so now it needs to trim &hellip; <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/?p=265\">read more<span class=\"meta-nav\"><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[343,485,505,513,673,722,757,765],"class_list":["post-265","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news-2","tag-iphone-4s","tag-nascar","tag-news","tag-nobel-prize","tag-steve-jobs","tag-tiger-woods","tag-usa-today","tag-verse"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p31aN0-4h","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/265","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=265"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/265\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=265"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=265"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=265"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}