{"id":6305,"date":"2017-06-26T08:50:36","date_gmt":"2017-06-26T15:50:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/?p=6305"},"modified":"2017-06-21T15:38:57","modified_gmt":"2017-06-21T22:38:57","slug":"in-the-dog-house","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/?p=6305","title":{"rendered":"IN THE DOG HOUSE"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Dash the Wonder Dog<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Me…in my customary position<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

Well, as you read in Uncle Bob’s post last week, my mom has gone and done it<\/strong> now.\u00a0 Her reckless behavior has resulted in the both of us being thrown in the hoosegow.\u00a0 Not just any hoosegow – a Turkish hoosegow.\u00a0 Although her intentions were good, she never should have used that photo without authorization.\u00a0 Sometimes I think she isn’t functioning with all her marbles<\/strong>, like when she forgets to feed me on time.\u00a0 All I know is that one moment I was relaxing in the lap of luxury on my leopard bed and the next thing I knew I was in a land far away, mingling with people (and dogs) who are far beneath my station in life.\u00a0 Do they not know I’m a Cavalier KING Charles?\u00a0 My mom keeps sobbing, something about “Midnight Express” and that her manicure is being shredded.\u00a0 She wants me<\/em> to dig our way out of here.\u00a0 Seriously?\u00a0 Sister, you got us into this mess<\/strong> so you can just suck it up about your ruined gel polish and get to work.\u00a0 In the mean time, I will try to describe our conditions in this primitive place.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Bad Eddie – Don’t mess with him<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

I must say that the people you meet in a Turkish prison are very solicitous.\u00a0 Really – they solicit everything<\/strong>.\u00a0 We have been asked if we’d care for cigarettes, chocolate bars or a brick of hashish.\u00a0 My mom jumped at the chocolate bar but I’m still holding out for a good antler bone.\u00a0 They seem to be in short supply.\u00a0 Unfortunately for me, several other detainees have brought their dogs along with them.\u00a0 Just like humans, there is a pecking order among us canines<\/strong>.\u00a0 At the top of the heap is Bad Eddie (photo right).\u00a0 I don’t know what he’s in for because I’m too scared to ask, but my guess is that he bit off the leg of a sultan.\u00a0 He rules this place with an iron paw and steals the meager rations<\/strong> from newcomers like me.\u00a0 I have tried my best to bat my big brown eyes at him but I think I gave him the wrong impression.\u00a0 Apparently I am not the first to learn that batting one’s eyes can result in becoming someone’s bitch, which is ridiculous because everyone knows I’m a male dog. \u00a0 Bad Eddie struts around the courtyard with his “posse” of Rottweilers and Poodles, acting like they don’t have to obey the rules.\u00a0 I have tried to instruct them as to proper etiquette, showing off my credentials as a Canine Good Citizen<\/strong> from PetSmart but I don’t think they’re impressed.\u00a0 One of them actually lifted his leg on me which just isn’t done in polite society.\u00a0 I think PetSmart could make a killing in this place.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Mom’s lunch…and dinner.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

Mom doesn’t seem to be adapting to our new circumstances.\u00a0 She keeps complaining about flies<\/strong>, rusty water and the sixteen other women sharing our 4×4 cell.\u00a0 I remind her that every minute that she spends complaining is another minute that she is not digging!\u00a0 Besides, in my personal opinion, I think the food here is doing her some good<\/strong>.\u00a0 I don’t like to be critical but those five pounds she packed on at Christmas are still hanging around her hips. \u00a0Another few weeks in this place and I think she will be back in fighting shape<\/strong>.\u00a0 As for me, I’m doing my best to supervise her, keep Bad Eddie at bay and bribe the guards for some organic bison\/mango treats.\u00a0 Hopefully by our next post all will be returned to normal – me lying on my leopard bed and mom resuming her manicure schedule.\u00a0 Sheesh!\u00a0 I hope she’s learned her lesson.\u00a0 I don’t think I can face Bad Eddie again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Dash the Wonder Dog Well, as you read in Uncle Bob’s post last week, my mom has gone and done it now.\u00a0 Her reckless behavior has resulted in the both of us being thrown in the hoosegow.\u00a0 Not just … read more<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":6304,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[6],"tags":[1275,122,2542,2541],"class_list":["post-6305","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-opinion","tag-canine-good-citizen","tag-cavalier-king-charles-spaniel","tag-petsmart","tag-turkish-prison"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/IMG_1535.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p31aN0-1DH","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6305","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6305"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6305\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6320,"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6305\/revisions\/6320"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/6304"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6305"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6305"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6305"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}