by Bob Sparrow<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 This week\u2019s road trip is a virtual one to college campuses \u2013 much like how my college professors described my experience on college campuses \u2013 virtual. The \u2018old\u2019 definition of virtual according to my iPhone is \u2018slightly short of or not quite accomplished<\/em>\u2019.\u00a0 Yep, that sounds like something my professors might have said.\u00a0 But I digress.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 This year will see 1,781,000 bachelor degreed\u00a0students (That\u2019s right, over a million and a half more people out there looking for jobs that aren\u2019t there) sitting through their \u2018last college assignment\u2019- their commencement exercise.\u00a0 Few of them will actually be paying attention to what is being said by their commencement speaker.\u00a0 Pre cell phone, students who were mostly hung over, stared blankly into space as the speakers droned on.\u00a0 Today, they\u2019re tweeting, texting, taking pictures of that girl from Psych class who said she wasn\u2019t going to wear anything under her gown, or they\u2019re staring blankly into space.\u00a0 It turns out students are well-justified in not paying much attention; most commencement speeches are either too pedantic or the start of some comedians summer concert tour.\u00a0 This year students get the added advantage of having Obama and Romney preach to them about their responsibility to vote . . . for them.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Advice has come from a wide variety of sources from Winston Churchill to Kermit the Frog.\u00a0 Guess which one said, \u201cDon\u2019t be content to be a tadpole, work your tail off, get out of the swamp.\u201d<\/strong><\/em>\u00a0 Then there\u2019s the famous \u2018sunscreen\u2019 speech.\u00a0 It was supposedly given by Kurt Vonnegut in a commencement speech at MIT, but was actually written by newspaper columnist, Mary Schmich, as a commencement speech she would have given had someone asked her.\u00a0 No one did.\u00a0 In it she extols the virtues of flossing, singing, stretching, but most of all using sunscreen.\u00a0 Jon Stewart, Will Ferrell and Stephen Colbert have given some truly humorous commencement speeches.\u00a0 Pulitzer Prize winning humorist, Russell Baker\u2019s comments to Connecticut College in 1995 still hits home today: \u201cThe best advice I can give anybody about going out into the world is this: Don\u2019t do it.\u00a0 I have been out there.\u00a0 It is a mess.<\/em>\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 One that truly inspires, not only for what it says, but for who said it, is Steve Jobs\u2019 commencement speech at Stanford in 2005, which included the following:<\/p>\n “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma–which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.”<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 He finished his speech with, \u201cStay Hungry.\u00a0 Stay Foolish.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 If you guessed Winston Churchill on the question above, you got it wrong, but he is known for giving the shortest commencement speech on record.\u00a0 He gave it to his old preparatory school, Harrow School, in 1941 \u2013\u00a0he was a bit preoccupied at the time. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cNever give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never–in nothing, great or small, large or petty–never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy\u201d.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n That\u2019s it.\u00a0 It strode off stage, lit a cigar and got back to the war.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 And finally, Matthew Gilbert, columnist for the Boston Glove gave the speech that no graduate wanted to hear:<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cUnfortunately, after a final\u00a0night of Dionysian revelry, you will awaken to a strange, frightening, and unfriendly world. A world in which\u00a0you must sacrifice all you hold dear for a paycheck, a world that strips you of your youthful vigor, a world in which a truck driver is paid\u00a0more than a teacher, a world in which the glass is always half-empty.\u00a0 In short, you will become that which you had hoped never to be: your parents!”<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Congratulations grads\u00a0and welcome to the mess – you’ll get used to it.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" by Bob Sparrow \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 This week\u2019s road trip is a virtual one to college campuses \u2013 much like how my college professors described my experience on college campuses \u2013 virtual. The \u2018old\u2019 definition of virtual according to my iPhone is … read more