![\"Ditch_New_Years_Resolutions_Day\"](\"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/Ditch_New_Years_Resolutions_Day.jpg\")
surprised to learn it was that high.\u00a0 Who ARE those people?\u00a0 Probably the same ones who have their taxes filed by February 1 and the Christmas cards done in August.<\/strong>\u00a0 So, being the sloth that I am, I went in search of resolutions made by people who, like me, have absolutely no intention of losing weight, exercising more or improving my vocabulary.\u00a0 Luckily, there are a lot of us out there and I found some rather amusing one’s to share with you this last day of 2018:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I want to lose just enough weight so that my stomach doesn’t jiggle when I brush my teeth.<\/strong><\/p>\n I can’t believe it’s been a whole year since I didn’t become a better person.<\/strong><\/p>\n I need to start eating more healthy, but first I need to eat all the junk food in the house so it’s not there to tempt me anymore.<\/strong><\/p>\n I don’t call them New Year’s resolutions.\u00a0 I prefer the term, “Casual promises to myself that I’m under no legal obligation to fulfill”.<\/strong><\/p>\n My resolution is to stop kidding myself about lifestyle changes.\u00a0 Nobody likes a cheap, skinny, sober bitch anyway.<\/strong><\/p>\n Never again will I take sleeping pills and laxatives on the same night.<\/strong><\/p>\n I’m going to fake my own death, move to Mexico and live off tacos and tequila.<\/strong><\/p>\n And from a kindergartner:\u00a0 I’m going to stop picking my nose.\u00a0 It’s going to be hard.<\/strong><\/p>\n I’m only making one resolution this year:\u00a0 I will indulge<\/strong> when the moods strikes.\u00a0 Not much of a stretch, I admit, but I’m taking inspiration from a friend.\u00a0 She posted a photo on Facebook last summer of her husband in a 50’s-style diner, grinning like a 10 year-old as he was served a huge chocolate milkshake<\/strong>, with a sidecar to boot.\u00a0 Tragically, he died unexpectedly last week.\u00a0 I thought about that photo – he was so excited to indulge, with nary a thought about cholesterol or calories.\u00a0 Somehow it made me happy to know that he’d had such a satisfying, guiltless moment<\/strong>.\u00a0 We should all be so lucky.<\/p>\n So, this year, I wish you and your family much happiness and good health…and many chocolate milkshakes!<\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" By Suzanne Sparrow Watson I’ve never kept a New Year’s resolution.\u00a0 I don’t think I’m alone in that confession.\u00a0 In fact, according to the Huffington Post, only 8% of people keep them.\u00a0 I was kind of surprised to learn … read more