{"id":9276,"date":"2020-07-20T08:25:01","date_gmt":"2020-07-20T15:25:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/?p=9276"},"modified":"2020-07-19T09:57:53","modified_gmt":"2020-07-19T16:57:53","slug":"9276","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/?p=9276","title":{"rendered":"HOW’S YOUR YEAR SO FAR?"},"content":{"rendered":"
By Suzanne Sparrow Watson<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Once in a while that great wasteland of Facebook has a pretty spot on post.\u00a0 I have always “written from scratch” but this was too good to pass up so I’m sharing it today.\u00a0 Unfortunately I don’t know the author but it’s obviously someone with a pretty good sense of humor!<\/em><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Dear Diary 2020 Edition,<\/div>\n
In\u00a0\"\u2744\"\ufe0f January,\u00a0\"\ud83d\udd25\"\u00a0Australia caught on fire. I don\u2019t even know if that fire was put out, because we straight up almost went to war with Iran \ud83c\uddee\ud83c\uddf7 . We might actually still be almost at war with them\u00a0\"\ud83e\udd14\". I don\u2019t know, because\u00a0\"\ud83d\udc69\"\u00a0Jen Aniston and\u00a0\"\ud83d\udc68\"\ud83c\udffb Brad Pitt spoke to one another at an awards\u00a0\"\ud83c\udfc6\"\u00a0show and everyone flipped the crap out\u00a0\"\ud83d\ude32\", but then there was this thing happening in \ud83e\udd87 \ud83c\udde8\ud83c\uddf3 China, then\u00a0\"\ud83d\udc51\"\u00a0Prince Harry and Megan\u00a0\"\u270c\"\ud83c\udffc peaced out of the Royal family, and there was the whole impeachment trial\u00a0\"\ud83d\udc69\"\u200d\u2696\ufe0f, and then corona virus \ud83e\udda0 showed up in the US \u2714\ufe0f\u201cofficially,\u201d but then\u00a0\"\ud83c\udfc0\"\u00a0Kobe died\u00a0\"\ud83d\ude2d\"and UK \ud83c\uddec\ud83c\udde7 peaced out of the European Union.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
In February,\u00a0\"\ud83c\udf3d\"\u00a0Iowa crapped\u00a0\"\ud83d\udca9\"\u00a0itself with the caucus results and the president was acquitted and the\u00a0\"\ud83d\udc69\"\ud83c\udffc\u200d\"\ud83d\udcbc\"Speaker of the House took Ten. Whole. Years. to rip up a speech , but then The\"\ud83d\udc68\"\u200d\"\ud83d\udd2c\"\u00a0\"\ud83c\udf0e\"WHO decided to give this virus a name COVID-19, which confused\u00a0\"\ud83e\udd14\"some really important people\u00a0\"\ud83d\udc54\"\u00a0in charge of, like, our lives, into thinking there were 18 other versions before it, but then Harvey Weinstein was found guilty\"\ud83d\udc68\"\ud83c\udffb\u200d\u2696\ufe0f, and \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\uddf8 Americans started asking if Corona beer\u00a0\"\ud83c\udf7a\"\u00a0was safe to drink\ud83e\udd26\ud83c\udffb\u200d\u2640\ufe0f, and everyone on Facebook became a doctor\u00a0\"\ud83d\udc68\"\u200d\u2695\ufe0f who just knew the\u00a0\"\ud83e\udd12\"flu killed way more people than COVID 1 through 18.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
In March, stuff hit the fan\"\ud83d\udc7f\". Warren dropped out of the presidential race and Sanders was like Bernie or bust\u00a0\"\ud83d\udca5\", but then Italy \ud83c\uddee\ud83c\uddf9 shut its whole country down\u00a0\"\ud83d\udeb7\", and then COVID Not 1 through 18 officially became what everyone already realized –\u00a0 \"\ud83d\ude31\"a pandemic – and then a nationwide state of emergency \"\ud83c\udd98\"was declared in US \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\uddf8 , but it didn\u2019t really change anything, so everyone was confused or thought it was still just a flu\u00a0\"\ud83d\udc81\"\ud83c\udffb\u200d\u2640\ufe0f, but then COVID Not 18 was like ya\u2019ll not taking me seriously?\u00a0\"\ud83d\udca1\"\u00a0I\u2019m gonna infect the one celebrity everyone loves and totally infected Tom Hanks\"\ud83d\udc68\"\ud83c\udffb, get y\u2019all to close all of the schools so y\u2019all can\u00a0\"\ud83d\ude4f\"\ud83c\udffc appreciate teachers\u00a0\"\ud83d\udc69\"\u200d\"\ud83c\udfeb\"\u00a0for once (because you can\u2019t teach them anything other than how to use a touch screen\ud83e\udd26\ud83c\udffb\u200d\u2640\ufe0f ) close down all of salons so you can\u2019t get your\u00a0\"\ud83d\udc87\"\u200d\u2642\ufe0f hair or your nails done\"\ud83d\udc85\"\u00a0, everyone had to work from home and attend Zoom meetings in their underwear. The\u00a0\"\ud83d\udcc9\"\u00a0DOW took a crap\u00a0\"\ud83d\udca9\"\u00a0on itself, and most of us still don\u2019t understand why the stock market is so important or even a thing\u00a0\"\ud83e\udd14\"\u00a0(I still don\u2019t), We were then all introduced to \ud83d\udc05 Tiger King and the ONE thing we can all agree on this year ,\u00a0\"\ud83d\udc4d\"\ud83c\udffcCarol totally killed her husband\u26b0\ufe0f ….. whacked him! And then Netflix was like you\u2019re welcome, and we all realized there was no way we were washing our hands enough in the first place because all of our hands are now dry and gross and we’re all searching for lotion.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
In\u00a0\"\ud83c\udf27\"\u00a0April, Bernie finally busted\"\u270c\"\ud83c\udffc himself out of the presidential race\u00a0\"\ud83c\udfc3\"\u00a0, but then NYC\u00a0\"\ud83d\uddfd\"became the set of The Walking Dead\u00a0\"\ud83d\udc80\"\u00a0and we learned that no one has face masks\u00a0\"\ud83d\ude37\", ventilators, or toilet paper, or THE FREAKING SWIFFER WET JET LIQUID , and by now our\u00a0\"\ud83e\udd81\"outgrowth is showing, so there\u2019s a shortage on\u00a0\"\ud83d\udce6\"\u00a0box hair dye and all of our hair dressers are like ,\u00a0\"\ud83d\ude31\"\u00a0NO DONT DO IT!!! But, then Kim Jong-Un died, but then he came back to life \u2026 or did he? Who knows, because then the Pentagon released\u00a0\"\ud83c\udfa5\"\u00a0videos of UFOs and nobody cared, and we were like man, it\u2019s only April\u2026.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
In\u00a0\"\ud83d\udc90\"\u00a0May, the biblical end times kicked off , historical locust swarms, we learned of murder hornets\u00a0\"\ud83d\udc1d\"\u00a0and realized that 2020 was the start of the Hunger Games\"\ud83d\ude48\" however people forgot to let us know. People legit started to protest lockdown measures with \"\ud83d\udd2b\"\u00a0AR-15s,\u00a0\"\ud83c\udfc0\"\"\u26be\"\ufe0fsports events were cancelled everywhere. But then people all over America finally reached a breaking point with race issues and violence. There were\u00a0\"\ud83d\udde3\"protests in every city\"\ud83c\udf03\"\u00a0,which was confusing to some of us because people were definitely gathering in\u00a0\"\ud83d\udc6b\"crowds of more than\u00a0\"\ud83d\udd90\"\ud83c\udffc\ud83e\udd1a\ud83c\udffc10 and for sure closer than 6 feet away \u2b05\ufe0f\u27a1\ufe0ffrom each other. Those people must have forgotten about the \"\ud83d\ude16\"pandemic called COVID Not One Through 18. Media\u00a0\"\ud83d\udcfa\"\u00a0\"\ud83d\uddde\"\u00a0struggled with how to \ud83e\udd2cfocus on two important things at once, people in general struggle to focus on more than one important thing. A dead whale\u00a0\"\ud83d\udc0b\"\u00a0was found in the middle of the Amazon rain forest\u00a0\"\ud83c\udf33\"\u00a0after monkeys\u00a0\"\ud83d\udc12\"\u00a0stole COVID 1 Through 19 from a lab\u00a0\"\ud83d\udd2c\"\u00a0and ran off with them, and either in May or April (no one is keeping track of time now) that a giant asteroid \u2604\ufe0f narrowly missed the Earth\"\ud83c\udf0d\".<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
In\u00a0\"\u2600\"\ufe0f June, common sense just got thrown \ud83e\udd3e\ud83c\udffc straight out the window and somehow\u00a0\"\ud83d\ude37\"\u00a0wearing masks became a\u00a0\"\ud83c\udfdb\"political thing, but then everyone sort of remembered there was a pandemic, \u00a0then\u00a0\"\ud83d\udc68\"\u200d\"\ud83d\udd2c\"scientists announced they found a mysterious undiscovered mass at the center of the earth, and everyone was like\u00a0\"\ud83d\ude45\"\ud83c\udffd\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\"\ud83d\ude45\"\ud83c\udffb\u200d\u2640\ufe0f\"\ud83d\udea7\"DON\u2019T YOU DARE TOUCH IT, but then everyone took a pause to realize that people actually believed Gone With The Wind\u00a0\"\ud83d\udca8\" was non-fiction, but then it was also announced that there is a strange \"\ud83d\udef0\"radio signal coming from somewhere in the universe\u00a0\"\ud83c\udf0c\"\u00a0that repeats itself every so many days\u00a0\"\ud83d\uddd3\"\u00a0, and everyone was like\u00a0\"\ud83d\udc7d\"\u00a0DON\u2019T YOU DARE ATTEMPT TO COMMUNICATE WITH IT\u203c\ufe0f\"\ud83d\udeab\"\u00a0but then America reopened\u00a0\"\ud83d\ude4c\"\ud83c\udffcfrom the shut down that actually wasn\u2019t even a shut down, and so far, things have gone spectacularly \u2026 not that great \"\ud83d\udc4e\"\ud83c\udffc. All of the Karen\u2019s came out at once, and people started tearing down\u00a0\"\ud83d\udd28\"\u00a0statues. Everyone is on Facebook arguing \ud83e\udd3c\u200d\u2640\ufe0f about masks\u00a0\"\ud83d\udc43\"\ud83c\udffc, but then Florida\u00a0\"\ud83c\udfd6\"\u00a0was like hold my beer\u00a0\"\ud83c\udf7a\"\u00a0and let me show you how we\u2019re number one \ud83e\udd47 in all things, including new Not Corona Beer Coronavirus. Then we learned there was a massive dust cloud\u00a0\"\u2601\"\ufe0f coming straight at us\u00a0\"\ud83d\udccd\"from the Sahara Desert\u00a0\"\ud83d\udc2b\"\u00a0, which is totally normal, but this is 2020, so the\u00a0\"\ud83d\udc7b\"\u00a0ghost mummy thing is most likely in that dust cloud. We then\u00a0\"\ud83d\udcda\"\u00a0learned of meth-gators\u00a0\"\ud83d\udc0a\"\u00a0, and I’m like that is so not on my flipping 2020 Bingo card\u00a0\"\ud83d\ude21\"\u00a0can we use it as the free space?? \ud83e\udd37\ud83c\udffb Then we learned that the Congo’s worst ever Ebola\u00a0\"\ud83d\udea8\"\u00a0outbreak is over\u00a0\"\ud83d\ude13\", and we were all like, there was an Ebola outbreak that was the worse ever?\u00a0\"\ud83d\udc40\" \u2026 and don\u2019t forget we just discovered FLYING SNAKES! \"\ud83d\udc0d\", seriously! FLYING SNAKES!!!!<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
So here comes July\u2026. at this point we are over it , just tell us what\u2019s next … \"\ud83d\udc7d\"\u00a0Aliens?\u00a0\"\ud83d\udd31\"Zeus? \u2604\ufe0f Asteroids? Artificial Intelligence becomes self aware? Can it just be something cool\u00a0\"\ud83d\ude0e\"\u00a0or fun for once? Maybe even a good laugh , like hahaha\u00a0\"\ud83d\ude02\"\u00a0April Fools! We all actually wouldn\u2019t mind that joke at this point.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Also, why didn’t I know about the whale in the Amazon? Or a few other things because I just can\u2019t keep up anymore!<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
BTW, a squirrel with Bubonic plague was found in CO… because, you know, it’s 2020.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Suzanne Sparrow Watson Once in a while that great wasteland of Facebook has a pretty spot on post.\u00a0 I have always “written from scratch” but this was too good to pass up so I’m sharing it today.\u00a0 Unfortunately I … read more<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":9286,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[6],"tags":[3375,3377,3285,3376],"class_list":["post-9276","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-opinion","tag-2020-coronavirus","tag-2020-crappy-year","tag-covid-19","tag-monthly-events-during-coronavirus"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/week-been-a-year.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s31aN0-9276","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9276","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9276"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9276\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9288,"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9276\/revisions\/9288"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/9286"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9276"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9276"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fromabirdseyeview.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9276"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}