SAFE AT HOME

Headlines:  Can she still shop on Friends and Family day?

Sarah Palin has announced that she’s not going to run,

She’s going to focus on her family, at least that’s what she’s spun.

Many will be disappointed over her campaign carcass,

But none so much as Barney’s, Saks and Neiman Marcus.

Money:  They’re still dealing with “good bones”.

Mortgage rates have fallen to historic lows,

A great time to refinance if you haven’t been foreclosed.

Jobs are still hard to come by and that’s made home sales quite drastic,

Our agent now works at the market asking “paper or plastic?”

Sports:  And he doesn’t even have Cameron Diaz for some comfort.

YES!  It finally happened, the Tigers beat the Yankees,

Forcing Jeter and Rodriguez to cry into their hankies.

With their payroll they should win it all, that’s one of the theories,

But now they know money can’t buy you love or a World Series.

Life:  Are they displaying the big brain or the small one?

The town of Thal, Austria is paying homage to their native son,

Yes, “Ah-nuld” is being honored for all the things he’s done.

There will be a new museum with a life-size bronze statue,

And maybe the gift shop will have his paternity tests for review.

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