CELEBRATE 2020 – EAT GRAPES, POUR LEAD, DROP A POTATO!

By Suzanne Sparrow Watson

Well, here we are again, ready to ring out the old and ring in the new.  Personally, I’ll be glad to ring out the old since it did such a good job of ringing me out this year.  But hope springs eternal for 2020.  There is something inherently optimistic about a new year.  This year we also get the double whammy of anticipating a new decade.  To get us in the mood for New Year’s Eve I researched some of the more unique ways people celebrate the new year around the world.  Trust me, after reading about some of the customs you’re going to feel a whole lot better about your stale bottle of champagne and Cheetos.

The 12 Grapes of Luck – In Spain and some Latin American countries, one New Year’s tradition is to eat 12 grapes, one for each month of the coming year, to secure prosperity. Here’s the challenge: you need to eat one grape with each bell strike at midnight. I think this would be a whole lot easier if we could drink our grapes in a nice Chardonnay.  The likelihood of me choking on a grape is quite high with this one.

Pouring Lead – Who doesn’t want to know what the next year might bring? In Germany, people melt small pieces of lead in a spoon over a candle, then pour the liquid into cold water. The bizarre shapes from the lead pouring (or Bleigießen as it’s known) are supposed to reveal what the year ahead will bring. If the lead forms a ball, luck will roll one’s way, while the shape of a crown means wealth; a cross signifies death and a star will bring happiness.  It kind of puts a whole new spin on “get the lead out”.

Scarecrow Burning – In Ecuador, people build scarecrow-like dolls of politicians, pop stars, or other notable figures to set them alight. Burning the año viejo (old year) is meant to destroy all the bad things from the last year and cleanse for the new.  You can see the potential here, right?  Is it possible to build a scarecrow that exactly replicates Washington DC?

Round Food, Round Clothes, Round Everything – In the Philippines, the start of the new year is all about the money. The locals believe that surrounding themselves with round things (to represent coins) will bring money or fortune. As a result, clothes with polka dots are worn and round food is eaten. I think this one is right in my wheelhouse.  After all, cake and cookies are both round.  By this measure I should be Bill Gates by now.

Tossing Furniture – “Out with the old” is the motto in Naples, where people toss everything from toasters to fridges off their balconies. Getting rid of old possessions symbolizes a fresh start in the new year. To prevent serious injuries, most locals stick to small and soft objects for their throwing tradition, though it’s still a good idea to watch your head should you travel there.  Nothing like being hit on the head by a refrigerator to put a cramp in your Italian vacation.

Animal Spirits – Rural Romania is steeped in tradition. New Year’s Eve celebrations include mask dances and ceremonies about death and rebirth. Dancers dress up in furs and wooden masks depicting goats, horses, or bears, then dance from house to house to ward off evil spirits. The dance of the bear is the most popular. According to pre-Christian folklore, if a bear enters somebody’s house, it brings prosperity, health, and good fortune.  Yeah, tell that to all the people at Tahoe who have “entertained” bears in their house.

The Potato Drop – With less tradition but more high-tech, the people of downtown Boise will welcome the new year by dropping a giant spud from the sky. More than 40,000 spectators turn up to see the internally lit, 400-pound “GlowTato.” Frankly, my husband and I love Boise and have been visiting there for more than 30 years.  Lately it has been overrun by Californians escaping the taxes and high housing prices and it has changed dramatically.  I think the Potato Drop is a “jumping the shark” moment for this formerly low-key town.

Personally, I’ll be sitting in front of a fire eating a great dinner and watching the Utah Utes beat the Texas Longhorns in the Alamo Bowl.  It may not be exciting but it beats getting hit on the head with a Barcalounger.

Bob and I would like to wish all of our subscribers and readers a very happy and healthy 2020.

 

Christmas – All Quiet on the Western Front . . . for a Day

by Bob Sparrow

In the last three weeks we’ve given you a) some crazy gift ideas, b) some little-known and less care about Christmas’s in other parts of the world and, perhaps most important of all, we’ve given you c) the recipe to Dad’s Christmas Ice Cream Fizz.  Yet, Christmas isn’t here yet, so this week there’s more Christmas stuff that could possibly help get you into the Christmas ‘spirits’.

The Pooper

We’ll start with what I have found to be the  most ridiculous way that Christmas is celebrated. The Catalonia region of Spain (around Barcelona) is known for its somewhat unorthodox wooden toys and statuettes. El Caganer (which would roughly translate as The Pooper) is one of them. A mysterious figure that insists on pooping wherever he’s placed; this dwarfish, leering figure is part of any Christmas stall or arrangement of figurines. He’s even placed in Nativity Scenes. – and they blamed that smell on the cattle in the manger!

Getting a fruitcake this Christmas?  As it turns out, the rumor that there is only one fruitcake in the world and it just keeps getting passed around, is true.  It’s fairly common knowledge that hardly anyone actually enjoys eating this holiday loaf, but because of its great significance in the All American Christmas, each year many hosts are forced to smile falsely and pretend to be elated at receiving this baked good that can crack a kitchen counter top.  This cake, containing all kinds of fruits and nuts, is derived from the British “Christmas Cake” but has roots in Roman times. Perhaps that Roman fruitcake is the one that is still circulating.

There are all kinds of Christmas traditions and stories from all around the world, but the one that is most sensational and heart-warming to me, is the one that took place in Belgium during WWI – the ‘Christmas truce’.

Meeting in ‘No Man’s Land’

On December 24, 1914 it began when German troops began to light candles and sing Christmas carols and the British soldiers would either join in from their own trenches or start singing their own carols.  Then, certainly without permission from high command, a German messenger walked across ‘No Man’s Land’ to broker a temporary cease-fire agreement.  Soon troops from both sides walked bravely onto ‘No Man’s Land’ and met, talked and exchanged food, souvenirs and cigarettes with one another.  They even played a game of football (soccer) which the Germans won 2-0.  It should be noted that the British got revenge when the Germans lost the war.  The British also won the ‘rubber match’ when Germany was defeated in WWII.

While this event was the first of its kind and certainly the most publicized, nearly 100,000 British and German troops participated in a ‘Christmas truce’ that year all along the Western Front.  In fact, there are similar stories of this same thing happening on the Eastern Front.  As expected, the commanders from both sides were not happy with this fraternization and soon put an end to ‘peace on earth, good will towards men’.

It is so sad that the great message in this story seems to have been lost in history.

The entire staff here at ‘From A Bird’s Eye View’ (OK, just Suzanne and me) hope you and your family have a wonderful holiday season and a happy and healthy new year.

JOY TO THE WORLD (WITH A SPLASH OF GIN)

By Suzanne Sparrow Watson

        A jolly man indeed

 

Christmas is a lot like golf.  We have visions of greatness and perfection but the reality is often closer to a bogey.  Some years maybe even a double bogey.  As we get older the holiday season can be more difficult, remembering those who are no longer with us or who we no longer see.  I think many people become sentimental about Christmases past when life seemed simpler. Personally, when I’m in the midst of the Christmas fray I long for the Christmases of my childhood when all I had to do is show up. No shopping, wrapping, cooking, cleaning – just act excited about the gifts under the tree.  I say “act” because there were a lot of years when I found my gifts in my mother’s not-so-secret hiding place and knew exactly what I was getting.  Mostly what I miss are the fun family gatherings, laughing and enjoying each other’s company.  There are people who are lucky enough to live close to their families, thus avoiding the packing and mailing of gifts and – worse yet – traveling to see loved ones, but they are becoming fewer and farther to find.  I hardly know anyone anymore who doesn’t deal with some sort of hassle or drama around the holidays.

Which is why this is a good time to reflect on those things in which we can take joy and perhaps be a bit kinder to one another.  It’s often said that we never know what problems people have from looking at the outside.  I’m sure we’ve all known people who appear to “have everything” and yet in reality have significant problems.  And that includes the person who cuts in line at the supermarket or honks their horn in traffic.  Maybe they’re just jerks.  Or maybe the holiday season is particularly difficult for them – the loss of a loved one, illness, a lost job – seem magnified right now.  Throw in all that’s going on in the world, and life can become a bit overwhelming. Which is why a little kindness can go a long way in making someone’s day just a bit better.

In my effort to be a bit more kind I don’t have to look far for an example.  Our dad was the kindest man I’ve ever known.  Coupled with his hysterical sense of humor, he was a force to be reckoned with.  He was in his element at Christmas, with his children gathered around him and hosting friends and family.  I miss him all year long but most especially this season.  So in his memory, I once again provide you with his famous Christmas Ice Cream Fizz recipe.  He served it every Christmas morning and it gave a roseate hue to the entire day. We share his recipe in the hopes that it might help you all enjoy the holidays just a bit more.  After all, ice cream and gin – how kind is that?

POP’S CHRISTMAS ICE CREAM FIZZ

Fill a blender 1/4 full with ice cubes
Add 6 jiggers of gin
Add 4 scoops of French Vanilla ice cream
Add 1 small bottle of soda water (the size you get in a 6-pack)

My brother Bob adds an egg so the white adds some froth, brother Jack doesn’t add an egg. Personally, I’d add it just because you can then claim it’s a protein drink.
Just blend it well and – voila – you have a concoction sure to put a positive spin on everyone and every thing!
Our mom served them in a wine glass with a dash of nutmeg. As we got older we conspired with Pop and ditched the wine glass for a chilled beer mug from the freezer. Saved having to go back for seconds…or thirds.

Wishing all of our subscribers a very happy holiday season! Cheers!

Rudolph’s Medical Issue, A KFC Xmas and Other Holiday Curiosities

by Bob Sparrow

Santa’s High-Tech Sleigh

Now that you’ve been given those great gift ideas from Suzanne’s blog last week, I thought I’d continue that December Christmas theme with some little-known and less-cared about Christmas facts.

I really shouldn’t have even put my name on this one, since my search of the topic this week sent me to Roger Highfield’s book, The Physics of Christmas: From the Aerodynamics of Reindeer to the Thermodynamics of Turkeyas well as humorous comments on the book, from Amsterdam marketer, Alexandra Libina.  Highfield’s book raises questions that I’m sure you’ve all pondered; such as, Can Reindeer Fly? Why is Santa Fat?  Why is Rudolph’s Nose Red? How Does Santa Manage to Deliver Presents to an Estimated 842 Million Households in a Single Night?  If you’ve struggled with some of these conundrums, here finally are some answers . . .

  • Is Santa pretty much the same all over the world?  No, in Holland, Sinterklass (the Dutch version of Santa Claus) arrives from Spain, not the North Pole, and his helpers are not adorable hard-working elves, but rather (now politically-incorrect) black-faced boys and girls who can steal your kids if they misbehave and bring them back to Spain, which according to the Dutch is a severe punishment. Travel tip: Don’t take your kids to Holland for Christmas.

 

  • How does Santa deliver all those toys all over the world in one night?  The number of children and households in the world would indicate that Santa would have to make 842 million stops on Christmas Eve, traveling some 221 million miles.  Given the different time zones, Santa has 36 hours to deliver all the gifts and thus would have to average a speed of approximately 650 miles

    Santa relaxing after a time-warp Christmas Eve

    second.  It is less than the speed of light, therefore theoretically possible, but extremely difficult, particularly for a chubby old man.  So how does he do it?  He ‘stretches time’ like a rubber band, which actually gives him months to deliver gifts while only a few minutes pass for the rest of us.  Just believe!

 

  •   What’s the the most popular time for couples to break up?  Couples are more likely to end their relationship two weeks before Christmas and two weeks after Valentine’s day, during the spring break. Christmas Day, however, is the least favorite day for breakups.  So if you can make it through this week, you should be good . . . at least until after Valentine’s Day.

 

  • Haven’t you always wondered what the Japanese eat for Christmas dinner?  Probably not, because the percentage of Christian people in Japan is close to zero, but due to a post-WW II ad campaign every Christmas, kids and grown-ups head to the closest KFC to enjoy some fried chicken – the closest food to turkey that you can get in Japan.  Chopsticks lickin’ good!

 

  • Is it sacrilegious to substitute an ‘X’ for Christ when writing Xmas?  No, it does not take the “Christ” out of Christmas, no one is taking “Christ” anywhere. In the Greek alphabet, the letter X (“chi”) is the first letter of the Greek word for Christ.  Yeah, it’s all Greek to me too.

 

  • Why is Rudolph’s nose red? The original Rudolph did not have a red nose, as red noses were seen

    Female or Castrated? (the deer not Santa!)

    as an indicator of chronic alcoholism and no one wanted him to look like a drunkard.   Quite simply his red nose is a result of a parasitic infection of his respiratory system.  Another seldom-known fact is that Rudolph’s original name was Reginald.

  • Is there a gender issue with the Santa’s reindeer?  Possibly, since most of the reindeer names are masculine and it is a known fact that male reindeer shed their antlers in the winter, so Santa’s team is either made up of all females or castrated males.  There’s a cheery Christmas thought.

 

  • How did Christmas cards help our POWs? Bicycle, the U.S. playing card company, manufactured cards to give all the POWS in Germany during World War II as Christmas presents. These cards, when soaked in water, revealed an escape route for POWs. Colonel Klink and the rest of the Nazi never knew.

 

OUR ANNUAL USELESS GIFT GIVING GUIDE

By Suzanne Sparrow Watson

Well, here we are…it’s Christmas shopping season again.  This year the panic over what to buy those you love (or simply tolerate) is compounded by the fact that it’s a short shopping season.  Compared to last year, there are six fewer days to find the perfect gift.  Or any gift.  Which means that we here at From A Bird’s Eye View are here to help with our annual Useless Gift giving guide.

First on the docket is something that is just the thing for your next dinner party – Red Solo Cup Wine Glasses.  Sometimes it’s hard to find the right balance between formal and “we’re glad you wore a shirt at the table” casualness.  For those who can’t quite decide whether to break out Grandma’s crystal or stick with a backyard BBQ theme this is the perfect solution.  They are also known as Redneck Wine Glasses.  They hit the right note between fine dining and ripping open a bag of salad.

The next find is simply genius – Snittens – The Original Snot Mittens.  How many times have you been skiing when your nose begins to drip like a faucet?  There’s a reason the ski resorts have Kleenex boxes everywhere.  No one wants to see frozen snot.  Enter Snittens – mittens that are specifically designed to keep your nose dry.  In fact, they advertise that the mitten absorbs 28x its weight in snot and tears.  The palm side is designed for tears, while the backside mops up snot.  It was 37 degrees this morning when we took Dash the Wonder Dog out for a walk and believe me, I could have used some Snittens.

Next is a gift for the man who is embarrassed by his physique.  Maybe he’s been working out at the gym this year and is a little wary of meeting up with the rest of the family of flabby butts.  The solution?  The Dad Bod Belt.  All he needs to do is slip this on, maybe get a Redneck Wine Glass, and he’ll fit right in with the rest of the family.

 

The next gift is perfect for the animal lover on your list.  Maybe not your average cat or dog person, but instead someone who has chickens.  The Chicken Harness is a solution to … well, I don’t know what, but imagine the poor chicken owner looking longingly at his or her neighbors who can take their dog for a walk.  Now with this invention they can join in the fun at the dog park.  The manufacturer claims that it is easy to take on and off (I would hope so because no one likes to tussle with a chicken), washable (again, self-explanatory) and a conversation starter.  I would think so.

I am a klutz.  I am constantly bumping into walls and dropping things on my feet.  I’m not hinting or anything but the Bubble Wrap suit is right up my alley.  Made from real bubble wrap and fastened with Velcro, it is easy to slip on and off and protects you from injury and general clumsiness.  It has the added attraction of providing entertainment for those people who find it fascinating to pop bubble wrap.  Of course, that defeats its protective qualities but could keep a grandchild entertained for hours.

Finally, speaking of grandchildren, for those of us who have little boys in the family there is seemingly nothing more hilarious than when Grandpa teaches them the old “pull my finger” trick.  Well now that sentiment can be part of your cherished holiday celebration with the Pull My Finger Santa.  I’m tempted to say that this will keep the grandkids in stitches but frankly, and speaking from some experience, I think Grandpa is the one who finds it so side-splitting.  Whatever.  If people are laughing at family celebrations the source doesn’t really matter.

I hope this practical guide to the impractical lessens your holiday shopping stress.  We strive to be helpful.