Headlines: Peace and Joy went AWOL this year.
Christmas has come and gone and for us it was terrific,
But the news from other places was tragic and horrific.
Shootings, stabbings, fires … ‘twas the worst Christmas ever for some,
If this trend persists we’ll need a LOT more buttered rum.
Money: I hope they don’t run out of those lovely Christmas sweaters.
After-Christmas shoppers have started snapping up the sales,
“Maniac Monday” deals brought shopping to a whole new scale.
To sweaters, coats and jackets the bargain hunters were swarming,
They’d better hope that Gore was wrong about all that global warming.
Sports: Yeah, but did he get a Nutrisystem deal?
Drew Brees surpassed Marino as the passing title champ,
Kobe’s losing games ‘cause his wife’s left him cold and damp.
The bowl games are beginning so this week we’ll be affixed,
To our sofas with some beer, Doritos and Chex Mix.
Life: We think God would understand.
Maria Shriver is considering taking Arnold back,
Says her religion commands that she should not give him the sack.
Let’s see….serial cheating and fathering another woman’s son?
We think that would even put the Virgin Mary on the run.
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