Monthly Archives: August 2011

Posted in News

Dick Time

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Wednesday, August 31, 2011

With Rice and Powell firmly under the bus

Chaney’s new book has caused quite a fuss.

If you read In My Time I think you would find

That it should have been called, In My Own Mind.

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The car-sharing Zipcar is making a deal

With Ford and their Focus, the high-tech mobile.

If it works it will help college kids get around,

If not, they’ll be caught with their zipper down.

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When Hurricanes are mentioned, you think of Irene,

But the Hurricanes of Miami, though not as obscene,

Have put college football in water that’s hot;

We think that the Cheetah should be their mascot.

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Movies this summer they say were a snooze;

With Conan and Aliens, that isn’t big news.

Kids must have been facebooking or tweeting for fun;

Even Captain America couldn’t hit a home run.

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Money Whoas

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Tuesday, August 30, 2011

The Pentagon rented containers to use briefly in Iraq,

Never dreaming 10 years later they still would not be back.

So now the final late fee charge is darn close to $1B,

The generals would all be fired if they pulled that as civilians.

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Americans, it seems, are cutting back on debt,

Tired of stress and strain that causes them to fret.

We’re cutting up the cards, giving credit lines the freeze,

That will teach those bankers to charge outrageous fees.

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Michael Vick has a new contract to QB another year,

The Eagles will pay $100M in hopes he’ll cause the fans to cheer.

He says that as a person he has grown – improved his traits,

Maybe we should let the dogs be the ones to evaluate.

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Mel Gibson’s in two courts this week and won’t have many laughs,

His gal pal will get millions to compensate for all his gaffes.

Meanwhile his ex-wife will be receiving  her financial part,

Putting the final stake in the wallet of “Braveheart”.

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Little is Big

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Monday, August 29, 2011

Irene’s wiped out bridges and road in her wake;

Caused death and destruction and lots of heartache.

The lesson that’s learned on this wet Monday morn

Is that there is no fury, like a woman who’s scorned.

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The story of short sales and banks is confusing

The banks have to win while the homeowner’s losing.

They made the bad loans, but their actions are numbing;

As they won’t lift a hand ‘til the payments stop coming.

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This week fans of tennis all will be rushing

To take in the Open at the meadows in Flushing.

But the game’s in decline for U.S. women and men,

There’s only one player in both ranking’s top ten.

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What a joy to see baseball played like a game;

No contracts, no hold outs, no unions to blame.

The joy of just playing, the tears and the smiles;

The Little League game beats ‘the bigs’ by a mile.

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Good Night – Irene!

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Friday, August 26, 2011

Hurricane Irene is gaining potency and power,

The whole East Coast is bracing for what she might devour.

The Outer Banks may take the brunt, the worst in many years,

Now everyone’s evacuating with everything held dear.

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Warren Buffet bought BofA stock, preferred shares, of course,

Some say he’s saved the struggling bank, riding in on his white horse.

But there’s a reason he’s the Oracle, smarter than most civilians,

In the first day his investment paid off $1.45 Billion!

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Danica Patrick has decided to leave Indy cars behind,

And race the NASCAR circuit, the Nationwide is on her mind.

But she won’t be bringing her Go Daddy style to a Sprint Cup pit,

First she needs to learn new skills: how to chew and how to spit.

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The VMA’s will be on Sunday, wonder if we’ll see Madonna?

We could always catch a flick, “Our Idiot Brother” or “Colombiana”.

Or we could catch Glen Campbell’s concert, but we’ll need lots of Kleenex,

For when he sings, one last time, “By the Time I Get To Phoenix”.

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Core of Apple Leaves

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Thursday, August 25, 2011

iGuess that we suspected it, Steve Jobs has said good-bye.

iWonder if at Apple there was even one dry eye.

iMac, iPod, iPad, iTouch, he changed the way we play,

iKnow for all the industry, it’s truly one sad day.

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What is the panacea for that fickle Dow-Jones ticker;

Going short or going long or just going for some liquor?

Will gold go past two thousand, or will it stay beneath?

If it hits that magic number we’ll probably sell our teeth.

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Cam Newton, out of Auburn, was drafted number one,

And hopes to show the NFL how he can pass and run.

He studies hard the play book to gain that QB knowledge,

And is making just a little more than he was paid in college.

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In the Shadow of My Father, a new movie being shot

Is about John Gotti and his son; a family mafia plot.

Travolta and Pacino and Lohan they will use,

In hopes of making one great film that no one can refuse.

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Mother Nature is Not Happy

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Wednesday, August 24, 2011

The east coast was surprised by a 5.8 earthquake,

Causing buildings to sway a bit and nervous knees to shake.

Now Hurricane Irene is bearing down as a Cat 3,

Evacuations have begun to avoid the wind and sea.

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U.S. financial firms are making a big play,

Moving into  Hong Kong, where they’re seeking big pay days.

But in another part of Asia, Japan has been downgraded,

The once-robust economy now seems vulnerable and faded.

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While there continues a review of college programs and their warts,

We pay homage to Tennessee’s  heroine of women’s sports.

Pat Summitt now battles Alzheimer’s and we all wish her well,

Her ethics and her conduct should inspire and compel.

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Lightening burned the home of Richard Branson to the ground,

His Necker Island retreat has been a place of some renown.

Kate Winslet was there, saved Richard’s mom and didn’t panic,

Do you think she learned life-saving skills while filming “The Titanic”?

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No More Moammar

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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

As you sit down today sipping your coffee,

Be glad we can all say good-bye to Gadhafi.

As the rebels took Tripoli and wiped off their brow,

They all looked around and said, “What happens now?”

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It looks like the case of Strauss-Kahn is dismissed;

It seems there were problems with the hotel help Miss.

She was good with white sheets and white towells, but alas,

Her work with white lies is what foiled her ass.

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All sports fans are grinning and we know the reason;

It’s because it’s the end and the start of two seasons.

In baseball the teams that are best are convening

And games on the gridiron will finally have meaning.

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Kris Humphries doesn’t realize the bash he is in

Becoming the ‘next’ husband of a Kardashian;

The New Jersey Net somehow just didn’t know

That the wedding was just a reality show.

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Coffee’s A Little Bitter This Morning

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Monday, August 22, 2011

Gadhafi is in hiding, his regime has finally crumbled,                                                                  The rebels took the city and his bravado took a tumble.                                                          Now order must be restored in the whole of Tripoli,                                                                  Will there be peace in Libya?  Let’s just wait and see.

Computers now do our trading, sending stocks on wild rides,                                                  But do phony bids by insiders cause the selling slides?                                                    Whether it’s machines or savvy  investors depends on your point of view,                             All we know is that the little guy ends up getting screwed.

And on this Monday morning, instead of talking points and scores,                                       We want to comment on a trend that we censure and deplore.                                                  At Candlestick two fans were shot and one was beaten badly,                                                      It seems sportsmanship and perspective have disappeared, sadly.

Finally, Pixar has announced its making a film about the brain,                                                To explore just how we think and why some things are such a strain.                                 They hope to find an answer to why we find a tune enjoying,                                                  But end up with a “song worm” that is so darn annoying!

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The Pigs in the Market

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Friday, August 19, 2011

That little piggy put gold in his shopping cart.

And that little piggy bought short, they’re looking oh so smart.

But this little piggy took advice from his broker on the phone

And now I’m going wee wee wee back to my foreclosed home.

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Wells Fargo plans to charge a fee to use their debit card;

Another act of greed imposed without customer regard.

They made some bad decisions making loans that were sub-prime,

Now they plan to get their millions back, three dollars at a time.

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Goodell told Terrelle Pryor that the things he did in school

Will be punished by the NFL – did he just make that rule?

As Roger looks around the league I wonder, could it be

That Reggie Bush will sit out games for sins at USC?

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Katy Perry just tied Michael, no, not for wardrobe glitz,

But for making just one album with five number one hits.

She was the first female to do it, but that feat’s a little shady;

Though Michael was born a poor Afro male, he die a rich, white lady.

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Perry, Bernanke and Tiger, Oh My!

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Thursday, August 18th

The U.S. wants Assad to step aside,

We can no longer tolerate his genocide.

Perry slams Bernanke, Obama’s on a bus,

But is anyone really looking out for us?

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Newspapers are being stolen in moves quite rash,

So coupons can be clipped to save extra cash.

The Justice Department is probing S&P,

HHS proposes clear language for health policies.

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The “death penalty” may be invoked on Miami,

And Suh has been hit with a fine that’s a whammy.

Expanded MLB playoffs are now in doubt,

And Freddy may pick Tiger to help the team out.

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Kim Kardashian is consulting with Vera Wang,

Brian Wilson’s re-writing songs for the Disney gang.

“Watch the Throne” now rules the music world,

And wouldn’t it have been better if Depardieu had just hurled?