Headlines: How can you extort money? Let me count the ways.
Barney Frank is retiring after three decades in his seat,
Because of the redistricting he thinks he’d go down in defeat.
We’re glad that once he’s gone we’ll no longer get the shaft,
‘Cause he’ll no longer have access to Fannie Mae and graft.
Money: I still have checks so I must still have money.
Black Friday, Cyber Monday…we’re just so confused,
We can’t even remember which credit card we used.
We got some awesome pricing on deals that can’t be beat,
I’m sure my Uncle Jack will love the canned unicorn meat.
Sports: Tommy Trojan put down due to fatigue.
Rick Neuheisel was fired after four years on the job,
Losing 50-0 to their rival angered the Bruin alumni mob.
On the plus side, Urban Meyer was picked up at Ohio State,
Hopefully he’ll avoid ol’ Jim Tressel’s fate.
Life: A little education could have gone a loooong way.
Miley Cyrus has a new video and a protest song’s the lead,
Lauding the “Occupiers” and denouncing corporate greed.
Gee, if we recall correctly, (and I think we do),
It was mean old Disney Corp. that made her dreams come true.
Oh the weather outside is frightening….so why not cheer it up with a redposey?