By Suzanne Sparrow Watson
A group of friends and I were talking about parenting the other day. We remarked that when we were growing up our parents sent us out the door in the morning and asked us not to return until dinner. I think they had a general sense of where we were, but I wouldn’t swear to it. Of course, we all grew up in small towns, where everyone knew everyone else, and you couldn’t get into too much trouble without being observed by someone who would rat you out to your parents. And, in general, it was a safer time for kids to roam around unsupervised. Still, even into the 80’s I remember my husband and I standing at the end of our driveway, waving to our daughter and her best friend as they drove off for spring break in Palm Desert. She called to let us know they arrived safely, and we didn’t hear from her again until they set out for home. I’m not sure we want to know what they were up to that week, but that is her fun memory to have and since we weren’t asked for bail money, I’m assuming she didn’t get into too much trouble. But back to the discussion with my friends – we were commenting about how the advent of cell phones has allowed parents to track every movement of their kids. There are good and bad aspects to that. There’s no question the cell phone has kept many an anxious parent from lying awake half the night wondering where their kids (and car) were. On the other hand, I learned a lot of lessons on how to get myself out of a jam because no one was just a phone call away to help me out.
Coincidentally, earlier this week I received an article about old-fashioned parenting styles from one of the historical sites I subscribe to, and it was eye-opening to learn just how far we’ve come in supervising our children. For example:
People Used to Mail Their Children – on January 1, 1913, the United States Post Office began offering parcel service. The most brazen early parcel customers trusted the Post Office with their most precious cargo – their children. The first recorded baby delivered via parcel post was James Beagle, an 8-month-old resident of Glen Este, Ohio. His journey wasn’t long: a carrier picked up the “well wrapped” infant from his parents on January 25 and, per the address on an attached card, delivered him to his grandmother just a few miles away. The postage cost 15 cents, and his parents insured him for $50! The practice of mailing children to relatives continued, particularly in rural areas, until 1915, when the government finally made it illegal to pop your kid in the mail.
Kids Were Routinely Given Illegal Drugs – In an era before evidence-based medicine, parents often relied on dubious remedies to treat common childhood ailments. Substances such as Stickney and Poor’s Pure Paregoric syrup and Godfrey’s Cordial were commonly given to babies in the 19th century to relieve gas, soothe teething pain, and treat unexplained fussiness. The secret ingredients? Alcohol and opium. Mrs. Winslow’s Soothing Syrup was also a popular treatment at the time. The syrup was said to be suitable for babies as young as newborns. While the vibrant marketing featured cheerful imagery of happy babies and mothers, the syrup, a concoction that included morphine and alcohol, resulted in the loss of thousands of children until it was denounced by the American Medical Association in the early 1900s.
Parents Aired Out Laundry and Children – Dr. Luther Emmett Holt, sort of a 19th century Dr. Spock, introduced the concept of “airing” infants. The practice of “airing” babies subsequently gained traction, and by the early 1900s, people even began placing babies in boxes on flat roofs. Baby cages also became popular as a way for city-dwelling parents to provide their babies with that all-important fresh air from the comfort of an enclosed frame suspended from a windowsill.
No Such Thing as Maternal Affection – In the early 1900s, John B. Watson (no relation!), an American psychologist known for his role in developing the field of behaviorism, stated that children should not receive “too much mother love.” He argued that children should be greeted with a handshake in the morning, should not be allowed to sit in a parent’s lap, and should never be hugged or kissed, save for a peck on the forehead at bedtime. Many of the leading child psychologists of the day suggested that a baby be handled as little as possible lest it become spoiled. Touching, they said, would sow indulgence that would reap anger, selfishness, irritability, and unbecomingness. Instead, they suggested parents turn the baby occasionally from side to side, feed it, change it, keep it warm, and let it alone. Kind of like you’d do with a hamster.
Such theories are unimaginable these days, but I guess it explains a lot of the stoic behavior in the past. And if they treated their children like this, I hate to think about the living conditions of the family dog. Dash the Wonder Dog, like most pets, is fortunate to live in a time when we buy unlimited toys, fluff their pillows, feed them organic food and let them nestle into a soft pillow on our beds. We’ve come a long way.