THEY WERE SOLDIERS ONCE, AND YOUNG (2025)

By Suzanne Sparrow Watson

This annual Memorial Day post is written in remembrance of the soldiers from my high school who died in the Vietnam war.  I first published this in 2014, and each year since then I hear from people who relate similar stories about the losses suffered in their hometowns or, worse, their families. This Memorial Day please take a moment to remember all of the brave young men and women we’ve lost in conflict. 

Five boys from my high school were killed in the Vietnam War. For a small town like Novato, that was an enormous number. We were such a close-knit community that even if we didn’t know one of them personally, we knew a sibling or friend. So when I planned my trip to Washington D.C. last month, I scheduled time to visit the Vietnam Veterans Memorial to see their names on “The Wall”.

To refresh my memory, I pulled out my high school yearbooks and found them all – smiling for a formal portrait or posing for a team picture. Each image reflected a boy, fresh-faced and full of hope, his life stretching out before him. I looked at those young faces and found it hard to believe that their lives ended so soon after the bucolic days captured in the photos. None of them reached the age of 22, their dreams extinguished on the battlefield. While we, their classmates, lived long enough to enjoy the internet, smart phones and streaming movies, most of them didn’t live long enough to see color television.

I reflected on the stories I’ve read of WWII vets who speak so reverently of the “boys who didn’t come home”. As I perused the yearbooks, I finally understood their sentiment. It is only when looking back through a 50-year lens that one can appreciate just how young these soldiers were and how many of life’s milestones they missed. So, on this Memorial Day, I’d like to pay tribute to “The Boys from Novato”.

Robert Johnson
Bob Johnson joined the Army in the fall of 1965, in what would have been his Senior year in high school. I remember him as a very nice, quiet guy. Before he enlisted, he asked his high school sweetheart to marry him – they wanted something to hang on to while he was gone. His entry into the service occurred just as the war was escalating. He was sent to Vietnam in March of 1966 and three weeks later he was killed by enemy gunfire during “Operation Abilene” in Phuoc Tuy Province. As his former classmates excitedly anticipated their Senior prom and graduation, Robert had already made the ultimate sacrifice. In the 1966 yearbook, where his senior portrait would have been, his mother placed this photo of him in uniform along with a tribute. He was the first Vietnam casualty from Novato.

Mike Tandy

Mike Tandy graduated from NHS in 1965. His sisters, Sue and Sarah also attended NHS. Mike was a good student, who participated in the first swim team our high school fielded. He was an Eagle Scout and according to his friend Neil Cuzner, “he was highly intelligent, a great guy and an excellent scout. He was in the Senior Patrol and a young leader of our troop. He led by example.” After graduation Mike joined the Marine reserves and was called up in January 1966. He was sent to Vietnam shortly after that. On September 8th he was on patrol in Quang Nam with another soldier when his footfall detonated a landmine. He was killed instantly. He had celebrated his 19th birthday just five days prior. His classmates had moved on – either to college or working – but the Tandy family was left to grieve the loss of their son and brother. In 2005 Sarah posted to the virtual Vietnam Wall: “Thanks to all of you who come here and remember Mike. All of our lives were changed, and I thank you for not forgetting.”

Allan Nelson

Allan Nelson played football at College of Marin with my brother, Bob. Allan’s sister, Joanne, was in Bob’s class in high school and his brother, Steve, was in mine. So we were well aware when Allan was drafted into the Army and sent to Vietnam in July 1966 at the age of 20. Five months later, on December 1, we were devastated to learn he had been killed by gunfire during a battle in Binh Dinh Province. I still remember the day Steve came to school after Allan’s death; red-faced with tears streaming down his cheeks. He had always been such a happy guy but was now changed in ways that were hard for his 16-year-old friends to understand. As I look back now, I can’t imagine what it must have been like for him to go home from school each day, to face parents who were shattered by grief. Joanne posted the following on a memorial page and perhaps sums it up the best: “Allan was my brother, not just a brother, he was my best friend. All I know is December 1, 1966, was the saddest time for me and my family. My family loved each other so much, but when Al was killed the joy died in my family. Allan had his whole life planned. He had just turned 21 on Oct. 20th. When we were young, he couldn’t wait to be 21. I am so sorry for all the families that lost a son and a brother. It will be 33 years in Dec. The everyday sad feelings of loss are gone but on special days it still hurts.”

Jim Gribbin
Jim Gribbin graduated from NHS in 1966. He was on the football team, very active in school clubs and was well-liked by everyone he met. He joined the Army Reserves and when called up, became part of the Special Forces, where he rose to the rank of Captain. He served two tours of duty in an elite MIKE unit. In March 1970 his unit was on a night defensive mission in Kontum Province when they were ambushed by enemy troops. Jim sacrificed his own safety by running into open territory – twice – to aid and retrieve wounded soldiers under his command. He was shot both times and taken to a rear medical facility where he died from his wounds. Ironically, for this affable Irishman, he succumbed on St. Patrick’s Day. He was awarded the Silver Star and the Bronze Star for Valor. Jim’s dad was a veteran of WWII. When he died in 2011, he requested that he be buried in Jim’s grave, with his name and vitals carved on the back of Jim’s headstone. One can only imagine the grief that he carried all those years. Hopefully he is at peace now that they are forever reunited.

In 2018 I was contacted by a woman in New York who signed up for a grueling physical event that honors Vietnam veterans.  She chose to represent Jim and wanted to know more about him. You can read my post about her and the event here: https://fromabirdseyeview.com/?p=7111

Wayne Bethards

Wayne “Ed” Bethards was in my graduating class, but I didn’t know him well. His family moved to Novato just before the start of our senior year. His mother, Betty Bethards, was the author of the international best-seller, “The Dream Book”. Again, Neil Cuzner has provided a bit more insight: “Wayne was a good person. He had a great love of baseball and had actually started a small league while over in ‘Nam. He was sharing his love of baseball with the Vietnamese children.” Cuzner went on to say that Wayne was a religious person and did not want to kill anyone; he struggled greatly with his deployment. He was drafted into the Army and was sent to Vietnam in October of 1970. In January 1971, he was killed while on patrol by the accidental detonation of a mechanical device in Quang Tin Province. He was the last boy from Novato High School to die in the war.

Jerry Sims

In April 2017, I heard from a former schoolmate, Dennis Welsh, about Jerry Sims, a boy who died in the conflict whose hometown was listed as Novato. I found in my research that sometimes the Novato “hometown” designation was for those affiliated with Hamilton Air Force Base, not graduates of Novato High School. Since there were no records of Jerry at NHS, I assumed he was from Hamilton, but that was not the case. Dennis told me that Jerry moved to Novato from Texas in the Spring of 1966 to live with his sister. He tried out for the football team during spring training and made the squad. But despite that automatic inclusion into a social group, he was unhappy living in California and being the “new kid” going into his Senior year. Dennis said that he never saw him again after football tryouts and didn’t learn of his fate until he spotted Jerry’s name on “The Wall”. After some research I learned that after Jerry left Novato in June 1966, he joined the Army and was sent to Vietnam in November. On February 6, 1968, he and several others in his unit were killed by small arms fire in Gia Dinh province. Jerry was 19 years old. His former platoon leader wrote this on his memorial page: “I was Jerry’s platoon leader on the day he died. He didn’t have to be there, since he had a job elsewhere in Vietnam, but he requested a transfer. He had already spent a year with the Wolfhounds, but for reasons all his own, he wanted to come back to this unit. He died doing his job as a squad leader in my platoon.” It would seem Jerry finally found his home – and some peace – with his Army brethren.

Jim Wright

Update May 2022: Each year this annual tribute receives a lot of viewings around Memorial Day.  This year I was fortunate to hear from Bill Sauber, a 1966 graduate of NHS, who told me of another NHS connection: Jim Wright.

Jim celebrated his 18th birthday in January 1966 and was drafted into the Army shortly thereafter. I suspect that he had dropped out of school, as he was in his sophomore year in the spring of 1966, so would not otherwise be eligible for the draft.  After basic training he was sent to Vietnam in May as part of the 27th Infantry, known as the Wolfhounds. On November 5, 1966, he was killed by enemy gunfire in Darlac province. He posthumously received a Silver Star. His official records indicate that by the time Jim died, his father was not living in Novato, his mother could not be located, and he had married a woman named Linda.  It is hard to imagine that in the space of one year Jim celebrated his 18th birthday, was drafted, married, and ultimately, killed.  As with Bob Johnson and Jim Gribbin, he lies at rest in Golden Gate National Cemetery. I am hopeful that someone reading this post knew him and can provide more insight into his time at Novato High School.

When I visited “The Wall” I found the boys from Novato, each name etched on that long expanse of granite. I thought about their families and the sorrow they endured. It was overwhelming to realize that sorrow had been replicated 58,286 times. Each of the names on that black, shiny surface represent a family forever destroyed. As I walked along the pathway, I looked at all of the mementos that were left as tributes to the fallen – notes, flowers and flags mostly. But then I spotted something different – a tribute from Jim Dart to his brother, Larry. It was a Kingston Trio album, along with a note about the good times they shared learning the guitar and singing songs together. I was overcome with emotion reading Jim’s note. My brother, Bob, owned that same album. He and his best friend, Don, often entertained our family playing their guitars and singing songs from that record. Bob was a Naval officer in Japan during the Vietnam war and was safely returned to us. I wept as I stood looking at the album, realizing that but for the grace of God – and military orders – how easily it could have been Bob’s name on that wall and me leaving a Kingston Trio album in his memory. I can’t imagine our family without his presence all of these years. I ached for Sue and Sarah and Joanne and Steve and all the other siblings who never got to see gray hair on their brothers’ heads; their family gatherings forever marred by a gaping hole where their brothers should have been. When I stooped down to take the photo, I noticed that several other visitors had stopped to look at it too. As I glanced at those who were of a certain age, I could see my own feelings reflected in their eyes. We know how much of life these boys missed. We mourn their loss – and ours.

Old Friends, Mansions and Amazing Scenery

by Bob Sparrow

Dinner with the McKinley’s at Soby’s

A wide-eyed “Wow” was my most-used word last week on our trip to South Carolina, where we visited old friends and previous next-door neighbors, Dave & Sharon McKinley. The McKinley’s moved next door to us in 1986 and moved out in 1990; I guess it took them a few years to realize that moving next to us was a big mistake. Dave, now retired, was a brilliant business leader who dressed for success and was very, very successful!  He is someone that anyone would want to work for or with – just a standup guy!  Sharon was a stay-at-home Mom to Jocelyn and Dusty , and is now the ‘Hostess with the Mostess’ and a gourmet cook.  They are both trim and fit. Early Saturday evening, they picked us up at the airport and took us to downtown Greenville; its name is well deserved as there is greenery wherever you look.  The fact that they get 51 inches of rain a year, might be a factor.  We even experienced a little of that while we were there.  It was my first time in this bucolic Southern city, which the Reedy River runs through in spectacular fashion; and because it was a Saturday night, the main downtown street was cordoned off so that merchants could set up their tents and offer their wares – everything from masterpieces to moonshine.  A street band was playing some great music as we walked to dinner.  We ate at a restaurant called Soby’s, where I acted like I belonged there and ordered a combo plate of grits, shrimp, corn and crabcake along with a local brew. Actually I just ordered what Dave ordered.

McKinley house – back
McKinley house – front

My first real ‘Wow’ came when we arrived at the McKinley Mansion in 6 Mile, South Carolina. It is spectacular! It is built on a forested lot on man-made Lake Keowee. Actually, it could have been built on two lots as they bought the one next to them so no one would build there and spoil their view.  Their home is a little over 8,000 square feet, 12,000 if you count the covered porches on both levels of the home.  The kitchen has every modern convenience imaginable and there is a ‘grandkids bedroom’ with bunk beds and amenities that would make any grandkid want to move in permanently.  The recreation room has a pool table, a shuffleboard table, a big screen TV and lots of comfortable couches. There’s another bedroom on the third floor which also houses Dave’s art studio; he’s quite an artist. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that the house has an elevator and a bookshelf that opens into a hidden ‘safe room’. I’m sure I missed lots of stuff, but you get the idea. The home is elevated from the lake, so there is a beautiful, winding stone path, past a sitting area with a circular stone firepit, to their dock and boat.  It is a spectacular property! 

Lake Keowee – see small arrow left of the compass to locate McKinley house

Sunday morning we got on their boat (I don’t know boats very well, so I can’t tell you the make and model, but, surprise, it was very nice!)  We did a tour of the lake, well, only a partial tour, it’s 26 miles long!  Dave said that we would be embarrassed to come back to their home once we saw the really spectacular homes on the lake.  We obviously weren’t embarrassed, but I have to say, it provided me with my next several “Wows!”  I’ve seen a lot of magnificent lake homes in my day, both here and abroad, and in my opinion, no place could match this.  I suppose that’s part of the reason why people like golfers Jack Nicklaus and Matt Kuchar, and Oprah Winfrey, Kevin Costner, ex-NFL quarterback, Dan Marino, Darius Rucker, Bill Murray and many other celebrities are all rumored to have property on this lake.

Whitewater Falls

We retuned home for lunch (delicious!) and drove to a park with amazing walking paths, one of them leading to my favorite type of scenery in nature, waterfalls.  I think I’ve mentioned how magnificent the greenery is around here, but . . . yes, lots of “Wow!” moments occurred as we reached Whitewater Falls (the photo doesn’t do it justice).

We returned home in time to get ready to go to the club house of one of the seven golf course they belong to, for Mother’s Day dinner.  Not surprisingly, the views of the golf course and surrounding greenery was amazing and the food was delicious!

Biltmore Estate

Monday was supposed to be a day to play golf, but the weatherman said we were going to get some of those 51 inches of liquid sunshine.  So, Plan B was to visit the Biltmore Estate in Asheville, North Carolina, about a 90-minute drive from 6 Mile.  The Biltmore was built by George Vanderbilt in 1897, after he purchase 125,000 acres to create a country estate that would include a working farm.  It is the largest privately owned home in America at 178,926 sq. ft. of floor space.  Paintings by Renoir, Whistler, Monet and many other artists are displayed in this four-story plus basement home.  It remains one of the most prominent examples of Gilded Age mansions, and provided lots of “Wows” throughout our several hours tour of the home and grounds.  I could go on and on, I’ll just say if your ever back that way – go see it!

Back to McKinley’s humble abode for another of Sharon’s gourmet dinners and a delicious dessert that I had not only had never had, but had never heard of, Semifreddo. “Wow! I got the recipe!

It was a most amazing trip to a beautiful place to reconnect with great old friends.  I have reported back to the neighbors who knew the McKinley’s when they lived here, that they seem to be doing just fine!

LOST IN SPACE?

By Suzanne Sparrow Watson

Several days ago, I caught the virus that has been circulating for months. I had dodged the dreaded “flu” since last fall and was convinced that my immune system was ironclad. Apparently, I was wrong. For the first few days I chalked it up to allergies – after all, I just had allergy testing that showed I am allergic to pretty much everything that is in bloom right now. But when my throat began to look like raw hamburger and my chest felt as if an elephant had taken up residence, I knew it was more serious. I know the drill – lots of fluids and rest. The fluids’ part was easy but trying resting with a four-month-old puppy. Both Dooley and I reached the limits of our patience in the last week. I’m sure he was wishing he had been adopted by a hardy twenty-something.

Nevertheless, because I needed my energy during the day, my goal was to get as much sleep at night as possible. I looked in the medicine cabinet and saw I still had some NyQuil, but probably not enough to last more than a day or two. So last Monday I did what one does when you’re sick and live alone…I ordered cough medicine from Amazon, with same-day delivery before 4 pm. I tracked the delivery mid-afternoon and saw that the delivery person was in the neighborhood across the road. The app indicated I was blessedly just five stops away. I waited for the package…and waited…and waited. When I checked the app again it said, “We have lost communication with our delivery person but don’t worry, your package is still on the way.” Okay, cell service can be sketchy in my area, so I didn’t think anything of it. But by 6 pm, when there was still no package, and the same message appeared, I began to suspect that my Mucinex was not coming. Thankfully, I dug around in my medicine cabinet and found an unopened box of NyQuil that miraculously was not out of date. By 9 pm the app indicated that something had gone wrong and I could cancel the order if I wished. How about you deliver the package, Amazon???

By Tuesday afternoon there was still not a whisper from Amazon as to where my package was or whether they were sending a replacement. So now, I don’t feel well and frankly, I am not pleasant when I’m sick, so I go on the Amazon app and ask them to call me. Five minutes later a customer service rep calls me, and I relayed my problem. I can barely speak and coughed like a seal in her ear, so she could tell I was someone who definitely needed medicine. Although she might have thought Xanax was a better choice after listening to my rant. In any event, she tells me she is on the case…and then puts me on hold. She came back after about ten minutes and said that the package had been lost in transit. LOST??? It was across the road and five stops away!!!! Was the driver highjacked? Did an Amazon Blue Origin Spaceship come down and spirit it away?

She calmly explained to me that she was only a front office person and really couldn’t tell me exactly how my package was lost. She placed another order for me and told me she would schedule it for overnight delivery. I asked that she not do that, as I can’t begin to count the landscape lights that have been victim to Amazon drivers trying to navigate out of my twisty driveway. “No problem,” she said, “I’ll schedule it for tomorrow mid-day.” Of course, I woke up Wednesday morning at 5:30 to find the package at my front door.

Maybe Bezos should spend a little less money sending celebrities into space and a bit more in delivery efficiency. As you can tell, I’m still crabby.

The Fall of Saigon and The Greatest Beer Run

by Bob Sparrow

North Vietnamese tank at the Presidential Palace

Last week, April 30th marked the 50th anniverary of the North Vietnamese tanks crashing through the gates at the Presidential Palace in South Vietnam’s capital, Saigon; ultimately marking the end to the twenty-plus year Vietnam War.   It’s hard to even think about that day and that war, without so many emotions being stirred; heartache for those lost or mentally or physically affected on both sides, sadness for all the chaos and ruin it brought to a beautiful country, as well as, for those around my age, all the turmoil and division it caused in our country.  For those younger, who think our country is divided now, I have to say I believe it was more divided back then, between those supporting the war and those protesting against it.

Kent State shooting

Soldiers returning to the states after their tour in Vietnam were encouraged not to wear their uniforms for fear of being spit on or physically accosted by those protesting the war.  On the other side, last Sunday marked the 55th anniversary of the Ohio National Guard firing into a crowd of student protestors on the Kent State University campus, killing four students and injuring nine more.  Americans protesting the war were burning draft cards, faking physical injuries to avoid the draft or moving to Canada.  An interesting aside relative to the Vietnam draft is that our three Vietnam ‘draft-elegible’ presidents all claimed student deferments and/or physical disabilities that precluded them from being drafted; Clinton, said he was joining the National Guard, but didn’t and continued his education and student deferment, Trump used a student deferment, then cited a bone spur in his heal, and Biden used a student deferment, then cited a childhood asthma condition.

Most people around my age know a name on this wall

In the end, the protestors were right, we were in a war we couldn’t win and it costs us 58,220 American lives, with many, many more affected by both physical and mental issues.  There are also nearly 1600 Americans that are still unaccounted for from that war. The total number of all deaths from the Vietnam War range up to 3,000,000!  Not to mention, depending on how you’re counting, the $176 to $352 billion it cost the American taxpayers.  Probably another thing that made that war so unpopular and repulsive was the fact that the horrors of it were televised into our living rooms, in living color, via the news every evening.  Aside from all the military losses, my tour last November through the Vietnam War Museum in Saigon brought home the brutal reality of all the physical and mental devastation that was suffered by the local civilian population.  We all certainly hoped that we had learn from the many mistakes made during the Vietnam War, but Afghanistan and Iraq would seem to indicate otherwise.

An interesting story to come out of the Vietnam War is a book, made into a 2022 movie, called ‘The Greatest Beer Run Ever’ by John “Chickie” Donohue. He is a Marine Corp veteran, who, in 1967 learned of one friend being killed in action and another who had gone missing; so he decided he wanted to do something to bring up the spirits of his other New York buddies who were still in Vietnam.  He signed on to a ship sailing to Saigon with a duffle bag full of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer.  It’s a very interesting story based on real events, and while the title is a bit whymsical, the story still includes the horrors of that war. You can watch the movie, starring Zac Efron and Russell Crowe on Apple TV+.

May all who made the ultimate sacrifice rest in peace.