Tag Archives: Obama

Posted in News

Can You Tap Dance in Flip Flops?

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Headlines: I Feel Strongly Both Ways

Romney’s getting bashed for the changing of his stances;

Is he trying to get ready for some presidential dances?

Some who know him best, have heard that he has said,

“When Obama leaves I hope he leaves his flip flops by the bed.”

Money: Greco-Roman Wrestling

Just as we get the Greeks turned around, so to speak,

It seems that the Euro has sprung another leak.

This time it’s the Italians, their future’s not so sunny;

They gotta dough, they gotta bread, but they ain’t gotta no money.

Sports: Defensive Game is Offensive

Last week we were hyping the Tigers and the Tide,

But LSU and Alabama took us for a ride.

The game had not one touchdown, no great runs, no great passes

Disappointing all the couch potatoes sitting on their asses

Life: He Thought He Was Dr. Kevorkian

The jury’s has come back with manslaughter, involuntary

And Dr. Murray’s comments that followed seemed quite scary

“What was it, drips or shots or was it probing with my scanner?

Or was it just you didn’t seem to like my bedside manner?”

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Posted in News • opinion • Uncategorized

PUT UP, PAY UP, SHUT UP

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Headlines:  This gives him four more years to fit into the Superman suit.

The suspense is finally over, the guesswork is kaput,

The 2012 election won’t have Chris Christie underfoot.

He says it’s not his time, at least that’s what he swore,

But we think it’s more a matter of “always leave ‘em wanting more”.

Business:  Will the stadium seats be made of fine Corinthian leather?

The Superdome will now be named for Mercedes Benz,

Who join in the resurgence of naming-rights trends.

We hope this means good things and makes the locals smile,

And that next time there’s a hurricane, they can evacuate in style.

Sports:  Are you ready for some goofball?

It hardly seemed official, no Hank Williams on MNF,

But he was given a “time out” by ESPN’s refs.

It should come as no surprise, as his railings seem to mount,

Calling Obama and Biden the Three Stooges proves that he can’t even count.

Life:  Do they have to return the Bunny Tails? 

They learned how to do “the dip” and practiced coy flirtation,

But “The Playboy Club” is now this season’s first cancellation.

Hef’s had a bad year, lost his show and his “girl” took flight,

Maybe he should stick to “girls” his age and start dating Betty White.

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Posted in News

IT’S ALL IN A GAME

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Monday, September 19, 2011

Palestine this week will go before the United Nations,

To recognize it’s statehood and keep Israel in isolation.

Obama is urging a veto in this unending game of chess,

But it seems no matter what they do, it’s always the same old mess.

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Atlantic City wants to capitalize on a familiar use of its name,

And has built a life-size edition of the Monopoly game.

So we were wondering since the pieces are really built to scale,

Will people really have to “Pass Go” and go directly into jail?

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The conferences in college football have become a baffling muddle,

It’s a wonder that the QB even knows who’s in the huddle.

Syracuse and Penn’s move to the ACC is the latest deal that’s done,

And yet we still don’t have a good way to determine who’s #1.

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Rosie O’Donnell will be unveiling her new show on Oprah’s OWN,

We’ll see if she’s calmed down or if she’s still so overblown.

She’s taking over Oprah’s studio, her producers and her staff,

But will all that good karma ward-off  her usual string of gaffes?

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Posted in News

American Jobs Act 1 Scene 1

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Friday, September 9, 2011

Our president spoke harshly to Congress last night;

Half applauded, while the other half groaned.

Obama’s determined to create and save jobs,

Top priority is saving his own.

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It’s going the way of vinyl records and the vacuum tube,

It’s as out of date as a hula hoop and a Rubik’s cube

Its future is like that of the typewriter, or so the techies say;

Just when I learned to run the darn thing, the PC’s becoming passé.

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Wives are being ignored , so girlfriends they’ll call;

Or perhaps they’ll spend a bit more time at the local mall.

They thought that they were married, but their husbands have departed;

They’ve crawled into their man caves, ‘cuz football season’s started.

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If the economy’s getting you down

And by the market you’re getting drubbed;

You can escape to the 60s this TV season

On Pan Am­ to the Playboy Club

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Posted in News

IT’S UNOFFICIALLY FALL

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September 6, 2011

With Labor Day behind us the campaigns get more intense,

But the Presidential season has seldom made less sense.

The Republicans are bickering, Obama’s back is to the wall,

Huckabee leads the Gallup, and he’s not in the race at all!

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European stock markets have gone into the dumps,

Based mostly on the U.S. unemployment slump.

Now in addition to our recovery and our job goals to pursue,

Apparently we have to worry about rescuing Europe too.

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College football is back again to amuse and entertain,

And most of the top teams did well, except for Notre Dame.

TCU lost a close game, with Baylor scoring late,

And the reigning champs, the Auburn Tigers nearly lost to Utah State

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The annual MDA Telethon carried on with Jerry gone,

Nigel Lithgoe and some beauties capably carried on.

They raised $61M in six hours, more than in past years,

Looks like people are willing to pay not to have Jerry appear.

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Posted in News

Obama’s Pre-game Speech

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Friday, September 2, 2011

Obama set his speech to Congress, next Wednesday was the date,

But Boehner said, that is the day of the GOP debate.

So he moved the speech to Thursday, but the time won’t be the same,

‘Cause he knows he can’t compete with the Saints and Packers’ game.

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Chrysler’s on an up-tick, so Motor Trend reports;

Their sales are beating GM, Ford and the imports?

They’re selling trucks and minivans , cars in their bigger class;

How quickly we don’t care again about the price of gas.

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When it comes to franchise owners, LA seems to come up short,

From Georgia Frontiere to that blow hard, Frank McCourt.

If a Dodgers sale goes through, it could give us all angina,

As the gloves and shoes, now payroll, will all be made in China.

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JayLo and Mark Anthony – it looks like that gig’s over.

It seems that little Marky boy is quite the Latin rover.

Mark found a nice hotel room, but who did he check in with?

It’s hard to say because she signed in as a ‘Mrs. Smith’.

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Posted in News

LOST IN THE SHUFFLE

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September 1, 2011

Obama’s going to unveil a plan before an anxious nation,

We’re waiting to hear what will inspire brand new job creation.

Millions have no work, lost their income and their homes,

When those who should be unemployed, sit under the Capital Dome.

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AT&T, the giant telecom, wants a merger with T-Mobile,

But Justice doesn’t want them taking their dropped call problem global.

The company said that it’s concerned about its loss of speed,

But based on our experience, it’s really due to greed.

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The champion Boston Bruins lost their center for the season,

They say his two concussions are the overwhelming reason.

Marc Savard seems to be complying, acting bold and brave,

We think he should be joyous – think of all the teeth he’ll save.

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When we look at the new roster for “Dancing with the Stars”,

We think someone’s lost their mind, or been in way too many bars.

Chaz, Chynna, David, Ricki? Dr. Drew could be their mentor,

Is this a dancing program or a sequined rehab center?

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Posted in News

Perry, Bernanke and Tiger, Oh My!

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Thursday, August 18th

The U.S. wants Assad to step aside,

We can no longer tolerate his genocide.

Perry slams Bernanke, Obama’s on a bus,

But is anyone really looking out for us?

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Newspapers are being stolen in moves quite rash,

So coupons can be clipped to save extra cash.

The Justice Department is probing S&P,

HHS proposes clear language for health policies.

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The “death penalty” may be invoked on Miami,

And Suh has been hit with a fine that’s a whammy.

Expanded MLB playoffs are now in doubt,

And Freddy may pick Tiger to help the team out.

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Kim Kardashian is consulting with Vera Wang,

Brian Wilson’s re-writing songs for the Disney gang.

“Watch the Throne” now rules the music world,

And wouldn’t it have been better if Depardieu had just hurled?