By Suzanne Sparrow Watson

Several days ago, I caught the virus that has been circulating for months. I had dodged the dreaded “flu” since last fall and was convinced that my immune system was ironclad. Apparently, I was wrong. For the first few days I chalked it up to allergies – after all, I just had allergy testing that showed I am allergic to pretty much everything that is in bloom right now. But when my throat began to look like raw hamburger and my chest felt as if an elephant had taken up residence, I knew it was more serious. I know the drill – lots of fluids and rest. The fluids’ part was easy but trying resting with a four-month-old puppy. Both Dooley and I reached the limits of our patience in the last week. I’m sure he was wishing he had been adopted by a hardy twenty-something.
Nevertheless, because I needed my energy during the day, my goal was to get as much sleep at night as possible. I looked in the medicine cabinet and saw I still had some NyQuil, but probably not enough to last more than a day or two. So last Monday I did what one does when you’re sick and live alone…I ordered cough medicine from Amazon, with same-day delivery before 4 pm. I tracked the delivery mid-afternoon and saw that the delivery person was in the neighborhood across the road. The app indicated I was blessedly just five stops away. I waited for the package…and waited…and waited. When I checked the app again it said, “We have lost communication with our delivery person but don’t worry, your package is still on the way.” Okay, cell service can be sketchy in my area, so I didn’t think anything of it. But by 6 pm, when there was still no package, and the same message appeared, I began to suspect that my Mucinex was not coming. Thankfully, I dug around in my medicine cabinet and found an unopened box of NyQuil that miraculously was not out of date. By 9 pm the app indicated that something had gone wrong and I could cancel the order if I wished. How about you deliver the package, Amazon???

By Tuesday afternoon there was still not a whisper from Amazon as to where my package was or whether they were sending a replacement. So now, I don’t feel well and frankly, I am not pleasant when I’m sick, so I go on the Amazon app and ask them to call me. Five minutes later a customer service rep calls me, and I relayed my problem. I can barely speak and coughed like a seal in her ear, so she could tell I was someone who definitely needed medicine. Although she might have thought Xanax was a better choice after listening to my rant. In any event, she tells me she is on the case…and then puts me on hold. She came back after about ten minutes and said that the package had been lost in transit. LOST??? It was across the road and five stops away!!!! Was the driver highjacked? Did an Amazon Blue Origin Spaceship come down and spirit it away?

She calmly explained to me that she was only a front office person and really couldn’t tell me exactly how my package was lost. She placed another order for me and told me she would schedule it for overnight delivery. I asked that she not do that, as I can’t begin to count the landscape lights that have been victim to Amazon drivers trying to navigate out of my twisty driveway. “No problem,” she said, “I’ll schedule it for tomorrow mid-day.” Of course, I woke up Wednesday morning at 5:30 to find the package at my front door.
Maybe Bezos should spend a little less money sending celebrities into space and a bit more in delivery efficiency. As you can tell, I’m still crabby.