A Conversation With October

by Bob Sparrow

October is an unusual month. I love it, as football is in full swing, the World Series takes place, which is the only time I have patience enough to watch baseball; hocky is underway and basketball starts this month, The fall weather is usually perfect – summer heat is gone and the winter chill has not yet arrived. This year, however, the summer heat decided not to go, as we here in Southern California, are experiencing near-100-degree weather . . . in OCTOBER! But I digress – for all it’s good attributes, October seems to have gotten the short end of the stick in many regards.

Here is an imagined conversation between October and the Calendar Guy . . .

Oct: “Hey, I’m the eighth month, remember ‘oct’ means eight, then you push me back a couple of months? What’s the deal?”

Calendar Guy: “Yes, you were eighth in the old Roman calendar, but they added two months, so you got pushed back.”

Oct: “What do you mean ‘they added two months’, did the earth slow down on it journey around the sun?”

Calendar Guy: “No, originally the first 60 or so days of the calendar weren’t counted because it was the rainy season, bad weather, and nothing happened during that time, so they just didn’t count it. But eventually, they did add January and February, thus pushing you back two months. Sorry.”

Oct: “So why did I get screwed on the holidays?”

Calendar Guy: What do you mean?

Oct: The other months have Christmas, New Years, Valentine’s Day, Independence Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Memorial Day, Thanksgiving, just to name a few. You gave me a day where everyone dresses up in stupid or scary costumes and goes from house to house begging for candy. I feel like the red-headed step-child!”

Calendar Guy: “I gave you Columbus Day?”

Oct: “Yeah, thanks for that! You gave me a day to celebrate a guy who did not discover America because millions of Indigenous people already lived there, and other Europeans had visited centuries earlier. AND he actually landed on islands in the Bahamas and other islands in the Caribbean, mistakenly believing until his death, that he had reached the East Indies and Asia. Aside from being cruel, he was stupid!

Calendar Guy: But . . .

Oct: “No buts, here’s a guy that forced the indigenous people into slavery. And in fact, eliminated many of them through warfare, mistreatment, and the introduction of fatal European diseases. AND, when he went back to Spain, he was arrested by Spanish authorities for the way he treated people! And you gave me Columbus Day to celebrate this jerk?!!!”

Calendar Guy: “Well, I later gave you ‘Indigenous People Day’ too, so people can celebrate either holiday.”

Oct: “Thanks a lot! Indigenous People Day didn’t even become a national holiday until 2022! Many people today don’t even know what an indigenous person is! OK, forget the holidays, what about Octoberfest?”

Calendar Guy: “What about it?”

Oct: “Octoberfest ends on the first Sunday of October, so I could get 7 days, or I could get one day!! September always gets over two weeks. Shouldn’t Octoberfest mostly be in October?”

Calendar Guy: “The weather is better in September.”

Oct: “You don’t need good weather to drink German beer!”

Calendar Guy: “You should just be grateful for what you have, ‘International Coffee Day’ and ‘National Pumpkin Spice Day’.”

Oct: “Bite me!”

Hoping you all are having a happy October.

SEALED WITH A KISS

By Suzanne Sparrow Watson

For those of you who celebrate Valentine’s Day, consider this your public service announcement: You have 11 days to buy roses, obtain a significant piece of jewelry, or at the very least, pore over the Valentine’s Day cards at Walgreens and choose something appropriately mushy/sweet/funny. My favorite story about buying cards is the one about the couple who go into Walgreen’s, each selects a card they feel best expresses their sentiment, hands it to their spouse to read, and then puts it back on the rack and walks out of the store. Gets the message across and saves ten bucks!

Many people choose to sign Valentine’s Day cards, and all other forms of communication, with an “XO” near their signature. I recently read an article on the genesis of this habit that I thought was interesting, or at least appropriate for this holiday. The origins of “X” being associated with a kiss can be traced back to the Middle Ages. In an era when literacy rates were low and formal education was a rare privilege, people who couldn’t write would sign documents with an “X” instead of their name. When people signed with an “X,” it wasn’t merely a mark; it was a symbol that carried the weight of an oath. To validate their intentions and their “signature,” people were also known to kiss the “X”. How the letter “X” transitioned from a kiss in the name of sincerity to a kiss of romance or affection isn’t clear. Theories on its initial use range from a British naturalist to Winston Churchill. But the most likely explanation comes from Marcel Danesi, a professor of linguistics anthropology and author of The History of the Kiss! The Birth of Popular Culture. He wrote that as the Renaissance era saw an increase of secularism, and with the 18th-century rise of the concept of romantic love, the symbolic “X” gradually expanded beyond its initial utilitarian function to become a gesture of affection.

An easier explanation could simply be the shape of the letter — that it looks like a pair of puckered lips, assuming, of course, that the sender has not had an overabundance of filler. And as for the “O” that often accompanies the “X”, even less is known about its origins as a symbol for a hug. It’s been suggested that the letter simply looks like a pair of arms wrapped around someone else; however, as with “X,” there are other theories as well. Whatever their origins, I hope you have plenty of X’s and O’s coming your way this Valentine’s Day.

Before I close, I would be remiss in not mentioning the recent loss of one of our most dedicated and long-tenured subscribers, Pam Landon, who passed away unexpectedly last Monday. I met Pam in 1999 and despite many personal setbacks in recent years, she remained one of the most kind, funny and positive people I knew. Each week without fail she commented on Bob’s and my posts, usually with humor or a story about her own experiences. She especially loved being an armchair traveler with Bob. In her last comment to me on my post encouraging people to eat junk food she said, “I discretely nibbled on a chocolate chip cookie as I enjoyed this blog. Thanks, as always, for brightening my day.” Rest in peace, Pam. I know that you are brightening everyone’s day now and hopefully still nibbling on a cookie.

THE ST. VALENTINE’S DAY MASSACRE – OF GOATS AND DOGS

By Suzanne Sparrow Watson

 

A Krispy Kreme Valentine

A Krispy Kreme Valentine

This week many of you will experience panic attacks as you realize that Valentine’s Day has once again occurred on February 14th.  I’m always baffled when I hear people (well, mostly my husband) say “What day is Valentine’s Day?”, as if it changes from year to year.  Personally, I’m not a big fan of the holiday.  I’ve seen too many people treat their significant other rather shabbily all year long and then think that a $9.99 bouquet of roses from Safeway will make up for it on Valentine’s Day.  But I do realize that I may be a minority in this respect, since millions of people around the world mark the occasion with cards, flowers, and it would appear, oversized teddy bears and lacy lingerie.  So I got to thinking about how we began this tradition.  Of course lots of people say it’s a “Hallmark” holiday and as you will read, the greeting card industry has certainly benefited from the day, but it turns out that Valentine’s Day has been celebrated for centuries and by some very unlikely people indeed.

There are many theories as to how Valentine’s Day got started and even who St. Valentine was.  The Catholic Church recognizes at least three different martyred saints named Valentine or Valentinus and they can’t quite decide which is the original cupid. Sounds like the old “To Tell The Truth” program to me.  In any event, the most popular legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine’s actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death – on February 14.   Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote his jailor’s daughter a letter signed “From your Valentine,” thus setting up the greeting card industry for the next two thousand hundred years.  Around 498 A.D. the Pope, who was not a big fan of pagan holidays, decided to combine the remembrance day for St. Valentine with the pagan rite of Lupercalia, which was celebrated on February 15.  Never heard of Lupercalia?  The short version is that it was a fertility festival highlighted by two sacrifices:  a goat for fertility and a dog for purification.  That sounds about right.

Romeo-and-Juliet

During the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed in France and England that February 14 was the beginning of birds’ mating season, which added to the idea that Valentine’s Day should be a day for romance. That seems just the slightest bit odd.  Really, when was the last time you stared out the window at birds mating and thought, “That is SO romantic!”.  For that matter, who in the heck watches birds mating?  Nevertheless, as the years went on the holiday grew more popular. Chaucer and Shakespeare romanticized it in their work, and it gained popularity throughout Britain and the rest of Europe.  By the middle of the 18th century it was common for friends and lovers of all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes, and by 1900 printed cards began to replace written letters due to improvements in printing technology.  It is believed that Americans began exchanging hand-made valentines in the early 1700s. In the 1840s, Esther A. Howland began selling the first mass-produced valentines in America and it’s been downhill ever since. Howland is considered the “Mother of the Valentine”.   I think in some circles she might be known as the “mother” of something else.  She made her creations with real lace, ribbons and colorful pictures known as “scrap.”  Or “crap”.  I forget.  Today, according to the Greeting Card Association, an estimated 1 billion Valentine’s Day cards are sent each year, making Valentine’s Day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year, right after Christmas. Which brings up an interesting fact: women purchase 85% of all the Valentine’s that are exchanged.  I was stunned by that fact until I thought more about it.  Modern day traditions guilt men into buying flowers, candy, dinner and the aforementioned lingerie.  All women do is buy a card and we’re good to go.

NixonAnd since everything these days has a Presidential spin, I got to thinking about whether there were any romantics among our former Presidents.    It’s well documented that John and Abigail Adams had a wonderful 54 year marriage and were very devoted.  And the Reagans were renowned for their doe-eyed looks at one another. Harry Truman apparently wrote such torrid letters to Bess that she burned them all lest someone else read them.  Although I don’t think Harry’s love notes would even make it on to TMZ these days.  But there were also some head-scratchers among our former commanders-in-chief.  Woodrow Wilson, who was thought to be a pretty stolid guy was widowed after a 27 year marriage and was completely heartbroken.  Until six months later when he was described as a “school boy” when meeting his second wife, Edith.   Perhaps the most unlikely romantic was Dick Nixon.  We all remember him as rather stiff and sweaty, but apparently in his youth he was quite a romantic…and maybe just the slightest bit desperate.  Turns out that he was so enamored of Pat that he would offer to drive her and her suitors on their dates just so he could spend more time with her.  Kind of sad, really.  But then again, Valentine’s Day is named for a martyr so for all I know he exemplifies the holiday.  In any event, I hope you have a wonderful day regardless of how you choose to celebrate.  Just don’t go sacrificing any dogs.

 

VALENTINE’S DAY: IT’S NOT ABOUT THE CARD

By:  Suzanne Sparrow Watson

Each year, due to family birthdays, my husband and I are usually on a road trip on Valentine’s Day.  This means we have been able to be with family on this “day of love”, which is a good thing.  Each year we both purchase Valentine’s Day cards that we think best express how we feel about one another.  There’s only one problem: my husband leaves the card at home in his dresser drawer.  Every. Year.

The first few years this happened I would hand him my card with great anticipation, waiting for him to read the sentiment and then what I had written to him about our relationship.  Then he would look at me and say sheepishly, “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.  I left the card at home again.”  Each time I heard those words I was crestfallen.  And the scene repeated itself so often it became like Groundhog Day.

I would think: how can a man who remembers to bring his favorite cookies and his golf magazine on every road trip forget a card that is lying out on his dresser?  I admit, I was pretty pissy about it the first few years.  But then circumstances (and quite possibly some maturity) made me realize that it’s not about the card.

My husband tells me he loves me every day.  Not just on Valentine’s Day or our anniversary.  He tells me that every time I go out the door and when we go to bed at night.  He does little things like get my paper for me every morning and sets up my coffee so it’s ready to brew when I get up(okay, this has gotten easier since we bought a Keurig, but still…).  All in all, he’s a great guy who treats me very well.  I finally realized that these little daily acts are far more important than a $4 Hallmark card.

So, ladies, if you’re a bit disappointed in your spouse or significant other today because you didn’t receive a card or – and this is the worst – your husband sent flowers to your home instead of your office, please take a lesson from me and look at the bigger picture.

And if that bigger picture isn’t so good either, dump his sorry butt!