Couch Potato Season

By Bob Sparrow

I can’t let this week go by without a salute to all our veterans on Veteran’s Day.  Thank you so much for your service!!!

Self portrait

This is the time of year where you should not expect my missives to come from the far corners of the planet; no Inca Trail treks to Machu Picchu, no Kathmandu capers, no summiting Mt. Whitney or Half Dome, no wine and pasta sampling in Tuscany and not even a visit to a local pumpkin patch or turkey farm.  So instead of holding a compass, trekking poles or a backpack, the only thing I’ll be having a death-grip on in the near future is the TV remote control. This is the time of year when I rarely even venture outside – I become the quintessential coach potato

As justification for this somewhat dubious moniker, I present the following:  In the past 13 days I’ve been able to watch:

  • Game 7 of the World Series (Congratulations to the Washington Nationals – what is a National anyway?)
  • NCAA football (my favorite sporting event) is in mid-season form with the LSU-Alabama game and Utah with it’s big win over Washington. Go Utes!!  For me, nothing beats the spirit of college football.

    A younger John Van Boxmeer

  • NFL football has my 49ers looking as good as they have in years! Notice that in past years it’s just been the 49ers, but this year it’s ‘my’ 49ers.
  • NBA basketball has started its regular season and already my favorite player, Steph Curry has broken his hand and is out indefinitely.
  • I know the NHL regular season has started as I don’t see my good friend and former NHL player, John VanBoxmeer as much – John is a scout for the Buffalo Sabres.
  • PGA golfer Tiger Woods won his 82nd golf tournament, tying the record of legend, Sam Snead.

There were even sporting events going on that I didn’t, or wouldn’t, watch, to wit:

  • The Breeders Cup, at Santa Anita, a track that has produced more broken legs that KFC.
  • For you Formula 1 fans, last weekend  the United States Grand Prix was held in beautiful Hawthorne; don’t ask me who won; don’t even ask me where Hawthorne is!
  • And for you MMA and UFC fans . . . I have no idea – not a fan, but I did read that the Sparta Cup was held on Oct 31 in Biysk, Russia – hopefully no one died or got sent to Siberia, although, for all I know Biysk is in Siberia.

The Magic Wand

Whether you are mashed, baked or scalloped, now is the time for all you ‘Potatoes’ to find your couch, along with a beverage of choice; and get those fingers working that remote control – get yourself in shape man! ‘Tis the season!

Yes, you’ll probably gain a little weight during this ‘season’, but that extra weight will come in handy for absorbing the extra alcohol that you’ll be consuming during the next ‘season’ – the ‘Holidaze’!  Another benefit of being a couch potato.

And ladies, we know this keeps the men out of your hair so you can start your shopping for . . . anything; they won’t even know you’re gone or what you’ve bought!  Or just maybe, you’re the couch potato in the family.  You go you little French fry!

GO AHEAD – MAKE MY (NEW YEAR’S) DAY

By Suzanne Sparrow Watson

 

Thank you, NCAA!

Thank you, NCAA!

Last year I wrote about a Scottish New Year’s tradition – Hogmanay – that I assumed no one still living celebrated.  So it has been startling to see more than 200 people from around the world have Googled the event and were directed to our blog site.  Heck, I don’t pretend to be the Emily Post of Hogmanay but apparently there is not a lot of resource material on how to celebrate New Year’s like a true Scot.    So it got me to thinking that maybe this year I should shine the light on other obscure new year celebrations from around the world.  After all, in the U.S. the NCAA has taken care of our celebration by kindly scheduling the two semi-final BCS bowl games on New Year’s Eve.  Personally, I’m not a fan of going out on New Year’s – or staying up until midnight for that matter.  I’m thrilled that on Thursday night I will don my formal sweat pants,  start a fire, open a bottle of wine, order a pizza and watch football.  But in case you’re interested in doing something a little more exotic, we here at “A Bird’s Eye View” offer up the following suggestions from around the world.

Jump in to 2016:  In Denmark,  people celebrate December 31 by climbing up on chairs and at the stroke of midnight, they leap off of them to signal their “jump” into the new year.  I don’t know about you but I’ve been at many a NYE party where climbing on the furniture was de rigueur but that was 30 years and 30 martinis ago.   At this age I have visions of my friends struggling to even get up on a chair, much less jumping off one.  Heck, they have had broken hips and torn ACL’s taking their dogs for a walk.  Perhaps all of the climbing and jumping should be left to young Danes with strong bone structure.

Talk to the Animals:  In both Belgium and Romania, farmers start the new year by talking to their animals.  What separates the sophisticated Belgians (who really should be focusing on their chocolate) and the crazy Romanians is that in Romania they believe that if the animal communicates back then it portends bad luck for the year.  I don’t want to seem critical here but I think that if you perceive that your cow is talking back to you, bad luck is not your biggest problem.

A flea marketer's delight

A flea marketer’s delight

Re-decorate:  In South Africa, it is a new year’s tradition to throw old furniture out the window on January 1.  When I first saw this photo it reminded me of our old neighborhood on “bulk trash day”.  It’s amazing what people throw out – and how little of it is still on the street after the midnight raid of Ebay enthusiasts.  In any event, for those of you who wish to re-decorate but are getting some resistance from your spouse, you can just throw everything into the street on Friday and claim that you are channeling your inner South African.

Eat, Drink, and Eat Again:  In France, the beginning of a new year is marked by eating a stack of pancakes.  Not those leaden “All You Can Eat” type down at the Waffle House, but light, fluffy cakes that melt in your mouth.  I eat a stack every Sunday at our local café so I guess I will be right on trend this week.  In Estonia, they celebrate January 1 by eating as much as they can  – they refer to it as “Eating in Abundance Day”.  Quality is of no concern, they are driven by the sheer quantity of food they can consume in a day.  Given that as the criteria, I think I’ve been celebrating Estonian New Year’s for the past month.

They could fight for the WWF

They could fight for the WWF

Duke it Out: Finally, my favorite tradition – the Peruvian fist fight.  Every December in a small village they celebrate the Takanakuy Festival, whereby residents engage in fist fights to settle their differences.  Brilliant!!  Seriously, how many of us have wanted to haul off and slug somebody when they’re being annoying?  Just this morning in the grocery store there was a woman who trailed me around the store speaking on her cell phone in a loud voice about her lawsuit against her employer, her daughter’s no good boyfriend, and on and on.  Despite several dirty looks from those around her (mostly me) she persisted.  Now if I lived in Takanakuy, I could have simply given her a good jab to the left jaw and no one would have blinked an eye.  It’s probably just as well we don’t celebrate this tradition, it being an election year and all.  Things are dicey enough.

 

I hope this has gotten your creative juices flowing on how to celebrate New Year’s.  Whether you choose to watch football, gorge, jump off a chair or talk to your dog, my brother and I wish you and yours a very HAPPY year ahead.