We Wish You a Merry Twixmas

by Bob Sparrow

Yes, here we are again at “Twixmas”, the week between Christmas and New Years, when I always find myself between “Mi Tu Phat” and “Yes, I’ll have another helping”.  I’m not sure who was in charge of setting up our holidays, but they should be fired!  The basic issue is that we’ve bundled three of our major holidays, where eating and drinking takes center stage, in the last five weeks of the year.  So, let’s see if we can reasonably move some of those special holidays around so it allows for proper celebration for each, without putting an undue strain on the stomach and liver.    

Let’s start with Thanksgiving, it is supposed to be a celebration of harvest in the fall, so let’s move it from the end of fall to the beginning of fall; after all, the first Thanksgiving was celebrated between September 21 and November 9 – so let’s move it back to the last Thursday in September.  Yes, I know Labor Day is around that time, but we can just move Labor Day maybe to sometime in August, a month that currently has no legal holidays.  Few are even sure what we’re celebrating on Labor Day, as we certainly don’t ‘labor’ that day, unless you’re having a baby.  How ever you celebrate it, it’s probably not a holiday where people stuff ourselves and are over-served, so let’s move it closer to Christmas.  

OK, with that settled, let’s move on.  Even though the exact date of Jesus’ birth is unknown, I think I’d get a lot of push back if I suggested moving Christmas from its’ December 25th date.  Although, as I look at the host of holidays in December – Immaculate Conception Day, Bodhi Day (Buddhist), Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe Day (Patron Saint of Mexico), Hanukkah, it seems like everyone was trying to squeeze in a holiday before the end of the year, maybe it’s a year-end accounting thing.  But OK, let’s leave December for our religious holidays and annual write-offs.

So, we really need to get New Years further away from all the December festivities.  Most of the world uses the Gregorian calendar, but, for example a country like China, still keeps their holidays from their old calendar; so Chinese New Years starts on January 29 – the end of January is a big improvement over the last day of December.  As we look elsewhere, we see that the Jews were only slightly smarter than the Christians, holiday-wise, as Hanukkah moves around from November to December.  In Vietnam, Tet, the lunar new year, is celebrated this year for nine days at the end of January to the early part of February.  That’s getting better, although nine days of partying could be detrimental to ones health.  Islamic New Year is at the end of June!  Well played Muslins!

I know moving the holidays is a low priority on anyone’s agenda, or most likely not on the agenda at all, but perhaps when Trump is buying Greenland, taking back the Panama Canal and making Canada the 51st state, he could change a few holidays around to better suit our social life.  I’m not holding my breath. 

Suzanne and I wish you all a happy and healthy new year!

Welcome to the Twilight Zone

by Bob Sparrow

You’re sitting on your couch with a cup of coffee, staring at a tired Christmas tree, trying to decide if you’re going to turn its lights on or take it down.  You’re too tired to do either.  You’re feeling lethargic, exhausted, and numb, not just from the chaos of Christmas day, but from everything that led up to it.  You’re somewhere between reflecting on recent past events and preparing for what comes next.  You’ve just entered the Twilight Zone.

While the week between Christmas and New Year’s can seem like the Twilight Zone, it actually has many names that I offer here to perhaps help you figure out why you’re feeling the way you do.

Boxing Day – originated in England and is celebrated there and most of the Commonwealth countries.  It is the day after Christmas and originally it was a day when people would drop money into boxes (thus the name) that were in churches and other places of worship and the money was given to the poor.  Today, of course, it has been commercialized as a shopping day when you can take back the boxes that you got for Christmas and exchange them for something you really wanted.  But, don’t worry about the poor, they just loot the stores now.

Twixmas – It also originated in England and comes from the word ‘betwixt’ which means ‘between’.

Crimbo Limbo – typically used by people poking fun at the excesses and materialistic aspects of the season, it is the period between Boxing Day and New Year’s Eve.  It is a week-long blur when you’re not sure what day is it, you’re most probably living in your pj’s and you’ve eaten leftovers for three days in a row.

Festive Perineum – while this term could have a more ‘anatomical’ meaning, at this time of year, it is used as a reference to the time between Christmas and New Year’s.

Romjul – a Norwegian holiday that refers to this week as a tranquil time to spend at home with friends and family undisturbed by the outside world.  It is also known as Interscotia.

Witching Week – The time between Christmas and New Year’s Day where nothing you do in this week counts.  If only that were true of the calories consumed over the last month.

You probably didn’t realize there were so many names for a time when everyone did so little.  Most of us just sit around and watch football, read about that new diet, or some or all of the following, typically done from the couch while having leftovers and drinking the last of the ‘Christmas cheer’ . . .

  • Wonder how much longer these damn Christmas carols will be on the air
  • Think about leaving the outside Christmas decorations up all year
  • Wonder how Amazon does it
  • Make New Year’s resolutions that will be life-changing – Not!

I recommend that you wait a week or so before making any serious decisions, you’re still coming down from a Christmas sugar-high that will continue through New Year’s Day.

IN SPITE OF ALL THAT . . . HAVE AN EPIC 2024!