by Bob Sparrow
Sometimes I have plenty of time to construct a decent blog on a subject that many people can relate to. Not so this week. Actually, I did have time, but sometimes no matter how much time I have, ‘writer’s block’ can make it difficult to say anything intelligently. This week I’ve ended up saying things not so intelligently. So, I’m offering this warning; if you have something better to do, which should be easy to find, do it!
Let’s begin with the pretext that you have someone on your Christmas list that is very difficult to buy something for, either because they already have everything or you’ve drawn a name in a ‘Secret Santa’ of a person you don’t really know or relate to. So, here’s some suggestions that center around what the Brits call the loo or water closet. When I think about it, there are lots of names for what we euphemistically call a bathroom, even though we’re hard pressed to find a bath in many bathrooms now-a-days. Other names include, restroom, where no one really go to rests; John, supposedly named after the guy who invented the flushed toilet; head, if you’re on a boat; privy, an abbreviation for private; outhouse, if it’s outside; toilet, from the French word toilette, referring to a cloth covering a dressing table (I don’t understand it either – it’s French!). Let’s not forget potty, for those who actually have a pot to piss in.
OK, I think I went to see a man about a horse and forgot to come back. I seem to have forgotten that we’re here to highlight some gifts that keep on giving and could finalize that diverse Christmas list of yours. So here you go . . .
- These ‘Novelty Mugs’ in the form of portable out houses, will be a hit at your holiday party. The tops open to let the aroma of the drink inside fill the nostrils of the drinker.
- If the Novelty Mugs seem a little crass for you, you can dignify your shot glasses by bringing them indoors with the ‘Gag Mugs’ – shot glassses that lets the liquid flow right out of the toilet into your mouth. Surely a hit at any holiday party.
Is that person on your list that’s so hard to buy for someone who likes to learn? If so, we’ve got just the thing, the book that Einstein always read while relaxing on the ‘thrown’, Poop and Learn.
For the golfers on your list who are bored when on the pot or just like when they’re playing golf, they take too much time over a putt – ‘Potty Putter’ may be the answer.
If after reading this, you’re feeling like you need a drink or a shower, you don’t have to decide, you can have both with The Shower Margarita Machine; yes, you can sip that tequila treat while taking a shower – salt optional.
I apologize for being a little blocked up this week (that’s ‘writer’s block’!!), but now that I’ve posted this, I feel relieved!
The obvious answer to the headline question: No!