EVERYONE’S ON FIRE

AHEM…well now, after letting off a little steam yesterday we’re back to our rhyming format.  However, we are always seeking to improve and love to get feedback, so if you would like more “opinion pieces” in the future, or have any other thoughts about our blog, please leave a comment below.

And now for today’s news: 

HEADLINES:    But will it make my coffee in the morning? 

Amazon has announced its new tablet “Fire”,

And at a price of $199 it truly is inspired.

You can stream movies and music, even MJ’s “Thriller”,

But the real question is, is it an i-Pad killer?

BUSINESS:    Don’t we have enough of an obesity problem? 

Fast food joints have seen their sales in deep decline,

So now they’re offering deals to entice you in to dine.

Let’s see, on the same day we read that health premiums are up,

We’re not sure what we need are cheaper Slurpee cups.

Sports:  We hope the sumo wrestlers are not part of this program. 

ESPN’s has named the athletes to be in its  “Body Issue”,

They’ll pose almost nude, with some strategically placed tissue.

Among them Hope Solo and Jose Reyes will stare into the lens darkly,

We’re just praying they don’t decide to bring back Charles Barkley.

Life:  Who gets the eyebrow trimmer from his office? 

The clock has finally ticked down for “60 Minutes’” Andy Rooney,

Who – we must admit- can be a bit disgruntled and loony.

But he offered the best advice about handling credit card offers,

Send the pre-paid envelope back empty – the postage comes out of their coffers!

Surely you have a friend or relative that deserves a special birthday tribute – visit www.redposey.com to order one today!

 

Metta World Peace? Give Me A Break!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Let’s start with a drug deal gone terribly wrong
For some skanky drug dealers in far off Hong Kong.
A ton of cocaine was in boxes, bags, hoses,
Which is better than finding it up our kid’s noses.

What’s this change going on in the fast food restaurants?
Now it’s lettuce, tomatoes, healthy food that they flaunt.
We use to go there for double burgers and fries,
Now it yogurt they’re asking if we want super-sized.

Isaac Newton was known for his bodies in motion,
His laws and his apple caused quite a commotion.
Cam Newton’s the body that’s in motion this season;
Passing 800 yards in two games is the reason.

Ron Artesst changed his name to Metta World Peace,
Now he’s Dancing With The Stars, I guess wonders never cease.
As the dance that we’ll remember is when a fan he chased,
As he waltzed into the bleachers and punched him in the face.

– – –

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FOOD FOR THOUGHT

September 8, 2011

Restaurants are attempting to increase our weight some more,

They now want to take food stamps at all the fast food stores.

The national obesity experts say that’s not the way we should behave,

And say our taxes will now be used to pay from “burger to grave”.

Baby boomers are now considered to be the most stressed out,

Watching retirement fade as their stocks have taken a clout.

Experts are advising calm and “not to over-medicate”,

This – to a generation that doesn’t know how to be straight.

Maryland’s Terrapins have new football “uni’s”,

And the best thing being said is they look a little loony.

More embarrassing still, they have the same theme,

And look remarkably like the women’s roller derby team.

The Kennedy Center has revealed this year’s honorees,

It’s a very distinguished group that will be on their marquee.

With Ma and Diamond tributes no one will be bored,

But what accent will Streep use when she gets her award?

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