Tag Archives: France

Posted in blog updates

Chromosomes, The Cup and a Correction

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by Bob Sparrow

Chromosomes: Like Suzanne’s last blog stated, we were both excited to compare and contrast our DNA. I would say she was right on with the comparisons of personality traits and ethnicity. I would add that the Irish and Germans , which made up nearly 60% of my DNA, have had a fairly friendly relationship over the years, perhaps a little too friendly during the Nazi regime. I would add that while the Irish and the Germans both make and like good beer, but they differ dramatically when they’ve had too many – the Irish start singing and the Germans invent a sensor for the automobile that will automatically turn on your windshield wipers when it starts to rain, or they’ll start a war. No wonder I’m constantly confused.  As to not having much of a ‘stiff upper lip’, (only 6% British) they say that’s the second thing to go. I will amend one statement that Suzanne made, that being that our DNA tests affirmed “one of us wasn’t a product of mom and the milkman”. However, there still remains the possibility that both of us are – as I recall we did have the same milkman for many years!

World Cup: The subject of my blog a couple of weeks ago was about how little America knows or cares about the World Cup, especially since we couldn’t even get in the tournament. Here’s what I’ve subsequently discovered over the last month:

  1. Several diagonal runs behind the defense can be effective with a third man, not a mid-fielder or a forward, but a defender breaking for the goal
  1. A quick give-and-go, both static and moving opens up the defense
  1. Switching the field of play gives a player more time and space
  1. Many goal scoring opportunities occur as a result of a good counter attack
  1. ‘Overlaps’ create opportunities for crosses

I have no idea what I just said; but I must confess that I ended up watching the final game between France and Croatia with my nephew, Gene, who along with wife Denise, was visiting from Minnesota, and actually understands soccer, saying he got into it when their son got into it . . . on video games.  Gene was up at 6:00 a.m. on Sunday to watch all the pre-game ceremonies. I joined him at 7:30 and became interested in some of the back-stories of the players especially several of the guys from Croatia, who were refugees from their war-torn country.  So with some personal information and Gene at my side to answer the multiple questions I had about the rules and strategies as to what was going on out on the ‘pitch’, I ended up actually enjoyed watching the final game. Of course I was rooting for Croatia, who ended up losing the game 4-2.   I am making a mental note to get involved earlier in the games next time in Qatar in 2022; perhaps in four years the U.S. can find a way to earn a spot in the tournament.

 

Correction: In the interest of never publishing ‘Fake News’ and correcting errors in a timely manner; in my blog in April 2015, I predicted that L.A. would never have a professional football team. They have one.

 

 

Posted in Family

The 2nd Annual ‘Cheater’s Cup’

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by Bob Sparrow

                                                     The Cheater Cup slogan:  ‘A family that competes together, cheats together”

cheaters cup

The ‘Cheater’s Cup’ named in honor of Lance Armstrong

     Actually, it’s the first known Cheater’s Cup event, because of a little detail during the first one – like no one even knew there was a contest going on! For those who have followed us here for the last few years, you may remember a story written by Suzanne last July entitled, JOCKO’S AND THE GREAT CHEAT-OFF (link: https://fromabirdseyeview.com/?p=2002). During last year’s Nipomo family gathering, our brother Jack and his wife Sharon, Suzanne and Al and Linda and I decided to play golf at the funky, 12-hole executive course called Monarch Dunes. It was just for fun and no one really kept score, or so we thought, but after the round, while having an adult beverage at the 19th hole, or I guess on this course it was the 13th hole, Suzanne, the self-appointed score keeper, pulls out a score card and announces that the women had won the match. “What match?” the men shouted incredulously and demanded to see the card. As suspected it was filled with cross outs, eraser marks and one hole that had been eliminated all together. Thus the ‘Cheater’s Cup’ was born. To add status to this year’s event, we’ve adopted Barry Bonds, who hit a lot of ‘fake home runs’, as our Cheater Cup spokesperson, and have named the trophy going to the annual winners, the Lance Armstrong Cheater’s Cup, so that we never forget the contributions to cheating made by this cycling dope . . . er.  I think both famous cheaters would be proud to be part of our short, albeit nefarious history.

BBonds

Fake homerun hitter, Barry Bonds

This year’s event was held on a ‘real’ golf course, Santa Maria Country Club, Jack and Sharon’s home course, although Sharon, who had spent the last three weeks in France, was ‘trapped’ in Paris due to a pilot’s strike; we think she’ll be home for Christmas.  In true cheater style, the ladies tried to have Natalie Gulbis fill in for her – the men were conflicted, but finally didn’t allow it.

It was no surprise that everyone kept score this year and it was also no surprise that none of the scorecards matched at the end of the round. The round was played as a ‘best ball’ between the ladies and the guys, but because the ladies had one less player, the guys agreed that they would eliminate their best ball on each hole and take the best ball from the other two. It seem fair to the ladies . . . at first, but as the match started to slip away from them, they lodged a complaint and played the rest of the round ‘under protest’.

blower

Blowing a putt has a whole different definition with us

I could elaborate on some of the creative golf cheating techniques that were used during the match, like Suzanne’s clandestine foot mashie to improve her lie, or Linda’s way of improving her lie by always carrying a pack of green Life Savers with her and casually placing one under her ball when no one was looking. Brother-in-law, Al would always turn heads when we finished each hole as he uttered his standard phrase, “Give me a par”. Brother Jack wore the pants with a hole in the pocket, just big enough for a golf ball to fit through, so that when we’re looking for his lost ball in the rough, he would surreptitiously slide his hand, with a new ball in it, into his pocket and push it through the hole; it would slide down his pant leg and land in a place that miraculously had an open shot to the green, and shout, “I found it!” With my long putter, I would regularly take ‘gimme’ putts that were ‘inside the leather’, of course the leather on a long putter assured me that I never had to putt anything that was within 6 feet.

JSA

Jack, Suzanne & Al

As I said, I could elaborate on these cheating techniques, but the match, the day, the weekend was really all about getting together and having some fun with a great family – and that we did. We all feel very lucky to not only call each other family, but also call each other friends, even though on the golf course we might call each other things that would suggest otherwise.

 

“You’re such a cheater; the best wood in your bag is a pencil”

Posted in News

Come Together

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Headlines: How do you misplace 20,000 missiles?

Libya had stock piled 20,000 missiles

That no one’s been able to find.

Perhaps they reflect Gadhafi’s old program

Of leaving no missile behind.

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Money: Good Cop, Bad Cop

Europe’s top two economies were looking for methods

Of securing their banks and their borders.

The French, wine in hand, simply said, “S’il vous plait”,

While the Germans said, “Here are your orders!”

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Sports: Jimmy Johnson Not Getting Anywhere

Here’s a shout out to NASCAR and the Kansas Cup race

Won by Johnson, but we can’t understand

 How he drove all those hours; did 300 laps

And ended right where he began.

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Life: He’s Got a Ticket to Bride

Paul McCartney got married last weekend

He and Nancy Shevell became one.

At his age we hope he’s not singing

A song like Here Comes the Son.

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