Tag Archives: Barbara Walters

Posted in News • opinion

WHERE AM I?

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Headlines:  We knew those “duck and cover” drills would pay off.

As if we didn’t have enough on our minds these days,

Solar storms are wreaking havoc in new and critical ways.

Navigation systems may go down, power grids may take a hit,

Which means we may hear the GPS lady get confused and say “Oh, Shit!”

Money:  We’re going to work on that “beer belly” girdle.

Forbes is out this week with their annual billionaire list,

Gates, Slim, Buffet…you all get the gist.

But the newest club member invented the shapewear, Spanx,

Who knew that squeezing fat would result in billions in the bank?

Sports:  The Stanford Band should be part of the deal.

Irsay says “it’s not about the money” but we all know it is,

He’s got his eye on Andrew Luck, the Stanford QB whiz.

But Peyton Manning is a class act, who has done the Colts fans proud,

We wish all football players were so articulately endowed.

Life:  One smart cookie.

The Girl Scouts of America were founded 100 years ago,

By a quirky, childless woman by the name of Juliette Low.

Hilary Clinton and Barbara Walters are among those who did their stints,

But the greatest Girl Scout triumph? Those addicting, darn Thin Mints!

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Posted in News • opinion

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR

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Headlines:  A nod from Tiger could be next. 

Newt Gingrich leads the polls so now he’ll meet with Trump,

And hope that his endorsement will put him over the hump.

Herman Cain’s endorsing Newt, but if we could be so rash,

That will make the women’s vote most likely burn and crash.

Money:  No use crying over spilt Euros.

The Italian finance minister broke down and cried today,

As she announced that many social perks were going to go away.

She said that working people had no more money to bestow,

A sentiment we hope foreshadows how the U.S. is going to go.

Sports:  This bowl proud to be sponsored by Sani-Flush. 

Well, LSU and Alabama will play the title game re-match,

While other games seem destined for a considerable mismatch.

You know there are too many bowls when the committees find a reason,

To select a team to play that has had a losing season.

Life:  Oh, what we wouldn’t give for a blanket and a piano. 

The onslaught has begun, Christmas shows are all the rage,

Entertainers from Cyrus to Buble are taking to the stage.

Barbara Walters, Grinch and Rudolph will also appear on the TV,

But nothing beats the vision of Charlie Brown’s Christmas tree.

A redposey is never out of season.

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Posted in News • opinion

Affairs to Forget

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Headlines: Is Cain Able to Handle Situation Gingerly?

Herman Cain provides the fodder for his political foes,

When he sits down with his wife this week to see just what she knows

About friend Ginger White with whom he just had friendly connections,

And he’s hoping to avoid the subject of presidential erections.

 Money: Just What We Need, Another Stock that Isn’t Worth Anything 

Just in time for Christmas you can buy some Packers stock,

So you can put a Cheese Head in that special person’s sock.

But investors should be wary as there’s something to be learned;

The stock, while it brings ownership will bring no monetary return.

 Sports: Keep Manning Manning the Sidelines

Payton Manning’s neck is healing the doctor said this week,

But his comeback for this season still is looking bleak.

We know that he’s a winner, but it cannot be his dream

To stand behind the offensive line of his winless Indy team.

Life: Barbara Wawa Holds A Mirror Up To Our Culture and It Isn’t Pretty

It’s Barbara Walter’s Special night we hope you won’t be late,

She tells us who we really like and who can fascinate.

The Kardashians and Trump are among those who she’ll fete

All in all it sounds like something that we’d just as soon forget.

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 Put a tribute in someone’s sock this year

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