Posted in opinion

WHERE THERE’S A WILL, THERE’S A WAY

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By Suzanne Sparrow Watson

Burial of First Cavalry troops at Santo Tomas

In February 1945, over 3700 Allied civilians were held captive by the Japanese in the Santo Tomas prison camp in Manila, Philippines.  General MacArthur knew of their existence and feared that the Japanese would execute them, as they had other prisoners under their control.  MacArthur faced multiple obstacles in attempting a rescue: the Japanese had a stranglehold on the city, the monsoons had brought drenching rain to the area, and his troops were unfamiliar with the territory.  Still, he devised a plan to rescue the civilians and charged the First Cavalry to carry it out.  Just 66 hours after landing in the Philippines, the First Cav tanks broke through the gates of Santo Tomas and liberated the prisoners.  Once the civilians were safe, the military fought the Japanese for over a month, before securing the city.  I am very familiar with this piece of military history, as my husband and his family were among the 3700 who were saved.

The line-up in Kabul, August 21

It was impossible to watch the events in Afghanistan last week without wondering, “where is our modern-day MacArthur?”.  Our exit from Afghanistan has been a debacle, seemingly without intelligence or a plan.  It was always going to be messy, and we were never going to be able to extricate all of the Afghan people who helped us, but it didn’t have to be this bad.  As I write this on Sunday there are still thousands of U.S. citizens trapped by the Taliban, along with untold numbers of Afghani people who helped us and were promised safe passage out of the country.  The President’s message on Friday was filled with untruths.  One only had to juxtapose his comment about Americans’ ability to get out of Kabul with the live reporting by CNN’s Clarissa Ward, who reported that same hour that it was almost impossible to safely get inside the airport. Biden also claimed that there was no rift with our allies over our exit from Afghanistan.  Earlier that same day the Germans, French and British had blistered the U.S. for the way in which we were exiting, exposing not only our own citizens to harm, but those of our allies.  Former British Prime Minister Tony Blair called Biden’s plan “imbecilic”.   To be sure, there is plenty of blame to be placed on all three of Biden’s predecessors for the problems of the past 20 years, but the way in which we leave Afghanistan is squarely on his shoulders.

We are used to politicians covering their backsides, so Biden’s remarks weren’t that surprising.  What was striking were the actions of Secretary of Defense Austin and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Milley.   Or more precisely, their inaction.  There are a lot of people calling for their resignations over the fiasco in Kabul, but under the Constitution, they answer to the Commander-in-Chief, and must carry out his orders.  At their press conference last week they exhibited the same enthusiasm for their mission as would a private ordered to empty latrines.  Assuming they disagree with the strategy and are just following orders, I don’t believe they should be fired.  I think they should resign.  When General “Mad Dog” Mattis disagreed with Trump’s policy on Syria, he resigned rather than carry out orders with which he vehemently disagreed.   That’s what people with principles do.  Instead, Austin was asked a question about rescuing all of the Americans and his response was, “we do not have the capability to go in (to Kabul) and get large numbers of people”.  Yes, General, we do.  In fact we have one of the most capable armies in the history of the world.  So clearly t’s not a matter of capabilities, it’s a matter of will.  Can you imagine any of the great U.S. Generals – Grant, Eisenhower, Bradley, Patton – making that statement?  Had MacArthur taken that approach, my husband might very well have died in the prison camp.  There is a report that a U.S. Army general called his counterpart in Britain, asking him to stop the rescue missions for their citizens because it was making the U.S. look bad.  The Pentagon denies that report; the British are standing by it.  My fervent hope is that this blog is rendered obsolete by Tuesday and that the generals have Special Ops teams at work getting people out.

             Women in Kabul, 2001

No matter the events of the next few weeks, we are a long way from knowing how all of this will play out.  In the short term, it’s safe to say that women and girls will have a very difficult time under the Taliban.   There are already reports of women who were turned away from their places of work and young girls denied entrance to their schools.  Young girls are being “married” to Taliban members.  God help them.  In the long run, we can only hope that Afghanistan does not once again become a safe haven for terrorists bent on destroying us.

Ultimately, the fate of the Afghanistan lies with its people.  Perhaps the younger generation, more educated and aware of the broader world than their counterparts 20 years ago, will spark a rebellion against the barbarians now in charge.  Only time will tell.

Afghanistan has long been known as “the country where empires go to die”.  We are now one of them.  The shame lies not in our exit, but that the manner of it was not befitting the brave people who fought there.

 

 

 

 

Posted in Music

Monday Knights

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by Bob Sparrow

The stage is set

My only choice about a blog this week was to write about what has consumed me for . . . I was going to say the last several weeks, but, honestly, it’s been longer than that.

I had an idea at the beginning of the year that our band, Monday Knights (Bandmembers: Dan Autovino, Randy Davis, Larry Eiffert, Ron Vallandingham and me), could do a gig at our golf club by creating a version of America’s Got Talent, without the competition.  We would highlight and MC the show and call it Yorba Linda Country Club’s Got Talent.  Randy Davis and I pitched it to Rob Abbott, YLCC’s food & beverage manager and sold him on the idea.  I think the lack of any entertainment for the last year, due to the Coronavirus, had something to do with Rob agreeing to let our ‘rookie’ band have a Saturday night on the summer schedule.

So, we wrote a show with three phases, 1) us singing some songs, some comic banter and having ‘Elvis’ drop in, 2) showcasing those at YLCC who volunteered to show off their talent, and 3) morph into a ‘dance band’ and get the audience on the dance floor, dancing and singing along with us.

Elvis was in the building!

After a cocktail hour and a dinner, from our first song, we felt that the audience, which was about 120 strong, was with us.  To be fair, the audience was a bit stacked in our favor – much of the audience was golf members who were our friends, other friends who were not members of the club and I was more than pleased to have 18 people from my immediate neighborhood (‘The ‘Hood’) in attendance; so even if we weren’t very good, they might not say it.  Now that I think about it, they probably would! Also in attendance was our new General Manager, Tom Forburger, who, if we ever wanted to play there again, we needed to impress.

The first set went well, highlighted with an appearance by Elvis (Ron).  For the talent portion we had seven performers, six singers (Mary Stolo, Mark Holte, Francine Forquer, Richard Shuldiner, Sa Cool and Joe Leonardi), whose acts were interspersed with comedy from YLCC’s Member President, Bill Tragoes, in various costumes, Irish, Doctor and Pirate to match the joke he was telling.  All acts were very well received.  A special thanks to Shari Henkemeyer, who coordinated the whole event.

The final set was some old-time rock and roll – things like Mustang Sally, a Buddy Holly mash up and Johnny B. Goode.

Given that my last 60 days had included knee-replacement surgery, a bout with Sepsis and the stress of preparing for this event, I now not only feel better, but much less stressed.  I’m looking forward to Hawaii in a couple of weeks, assuming that the Aloha State stays open.

I can almost taste that first Mai Tai now!

But first, a big thank you to all those who attended and made it such a great evening!

Posted in opinion

THIS IS A SPORT???

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By Suzanne Sparrow Watson

 

Caleb, with his wife and dog, Jane

My name is Suzanne and I am an Olympic-olic.  Yes, I admit it.  I had many Walter Mitty moments while watching Olympic games these past two weeks, fantasizing that if only I had practiced more I could have been an elite athlete.   That’s preposterous, of course.  I was on a swim team in high school and the coach only put me in when we were either so far ahead or trailing so hopelessly that my entry into the water was not going to affect the outcome.  Still…I remain fascinated by all Olympic sports and swimming in particular.  During the games that just ended I rejoiced in every race that Caleb Dressel swam.  In addition to being a very admirable athlete, I have heard from someone connected to the team that he is also a really nice guy.  Plus, I saw an interview with him in which he said that he tries to be better in anything he does so that he can be better at everything he does, including being a good dog dad.  Wow.  How can you not like a guy whose aspirational goal is to be a better dog dad?

Although I focus on the swimming events, I also like gymnastics.  Again, in high school and college I took classes in the balance beam and uneven bars.  Just like in swimming, my gym career was not destined for anything but bruises.  At least in the water I had buoyancy going for me.  The pads on the gym floor were not so forgiving.  Still, the experience left me with a keen appreciation for what the gymnasts are able to do.  Tim Daggett, the former Olympic gymnast who was an announcer for the events, kept reminding us that the balance beam is only as wide as the average cell phone. I bump into walls around my house on a regular basis so I’m pretty certain that the balance beam is outside of my wheelhouse these days.

I found myself watching at least some of every sport over the past two weeks – Argentina vs Turkey in fencing,  Slovakia in the race walking, and the U.S. in everything.  Some of the sports have been around since the first Olympics and some made their debut this year.  I consider myself pretty open-minded when it comes to sports but I had a hard time wrapping my head around one of the new entries: street skateboarding.  The official description of the sport describes it as a competition held on a straight street-like course, featuring stairs, handrails, curbs, benches walls and slopes.  I watched the women’s final of this event and could hardly keep focused on it.  The competitors would jump onto a handrail and – most often – crash to the ground.  It got me to wondering how people ever get good at this sport.  First, most places now ban skateboards from shopping centers and malls.  So I imagine that unless the competitors have one of the new skateboard parks nearby, they improve their skills by terrorizing people wherever stairs and benches exist.  Second, from the litany of broken bones they talked about, I would think they don’t have much time to practice between hospital visits.

I guess I just have to learn to go with the flow.  If the young kids like these sports then I’ll just sit back and watch them participate.  My Olympic dreams are now reduced to getting out of the recliner without falling over.  Who knows?  If they ever have a Geriatric Olympics that includes Recliner Acrobatics, I could be a contender.

Posted in travel

Driveways and Donuts

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by Bob Sparrow

First, let me thank all those who have sent prayers and good wishes for me in my fight against Sepsis or whatever other infections have decided to take up residence in my body.  Thank you so very much!

Me summiting driveway!

As you might suspect, the scope of my travels have been a bit limited lately, but in my quest to circle the globe for adventure, I felt compelled to start over with baby steps.  I had previously mentioned that my first travel goal was to put together a trip to the end of my driveway.  Well, I’m here to tell you – mission accomplished!  As the attached photo shows, I have indeed summitted my driveway.  How long it took me to overcome some of the obstacles along the way is immaterial.

With the ‘driveway’ box checked, I was looking for further adventures, while realizing my limitations, I was looking for something not too challenging.  I then came across an article in the local newspaper that seemed to have my name all over it.  The headline read, ‘DONUT MUSEUM OFFERS VISITORS A SWEET TIME’.  Yes, that was roughly the kind of adventure I was looking for – a local doughnut museum – nothing too hard, but with a bit of whimsy.  Having never been to a doughnut (I choose to use the proper spelling of the word) museum, I thought, “what an adventure!”  It so happened that we had two of our grandchildren with us, Addison and Macklin, so with the grandkids in tow, Linda and I headed off to the Westminster Mall to visit the ‘Donut Life Museum’.  Not sure where the ‘Life’ comes in, but I suppose it’s better than the Donut Death Museum.  Addison remarked that she had never been to a museum before, and being a fan of doughnuts, she was really looking forward to sharing this adventure with me.

Addison, Linda & Mac giving it the ‘thumbs down’

I related some facts to our group that I had gleaned from the newspaper article that morning, to wit; Kathy Ly, along with cofounders, Alix Luu and Brian Ross “wanted to create an experience that allows visitors of all ages to connect, spend quality time and make memories”.  The goal of the museum is to be uplifting, with exhibits such as the “Donut Forget Life is Limitless” and “Love Makes the World Hole”.  The article also mentioned that at the end of the visitors’ experience, everyone gets a Krispy Kreme donut.

We arrived at the ‘Donut Life Museum’ and I told the girl at the entrance that we’d like to see the museum, as I looked in and saw that it was both empty and cheesy.  She said, “OK, it’s $25 per adult and $17 for each child.”  Once I picked my jaw up off the floor, I said, “So you want $87 for us to wander around in a room with some pictures of donuts hanging off the walls?”  She said, “It’s interactive”.  I didn’t bother to ask her what that meant, as we turned and walked away looking for the closest ice cream parlor.

Back at home, I wanted to get a clearer picture of exactly what the ‘Donut Life Museum’ had to offer and what we missed out on, so I searched YouTube and found that we made the right decision by opting for ice cream over doughnuts.

Here’s some examples of the adventures one can have at the Donut Life Museum.

You could lay in a bin of plastic donuts and plastic donut holes and cover yourself with them.

You could have a photo taken of you looking through a heart-shaped doughnut hole

Or if you’re really wild and crazy you can have a photo of you sitting in a ‘donut pool’ or with a ‘donut tube’

If, after reading this, you’re getting that ‘doughnut vibe’, save yourself $87 and just go to Krispy Kreme and buy one . . . or more.

Posted in opinion

ON…AND OFF…THE ROAD AGAIN

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By Suzanne Sparrow Watson

Two weeks ago my husband and I packed up for our first road trip in two years.  Not just any road trip…a trip to see our family in Denver.  COVID has taken a big hit to family gatherings for everyone and we were no exception.  So while we were very excited to make this trip, we discovered that we were woefully out of practice in preparing for it.  I recalled that old adage, “take half as many clothes and twice as much money as you think you’ll need”, and then totally ignored it.  I could have been away for months given the clothes I brought along.  Oh well, at least I remembered the important things like Dash the Wonder Dog’s food and  plenty of oatmeal cookies.  Oatmeal cookies are a must,  They not only serve as a treat, but in a pinch they can fill in for breakfast.  As with most of our long trips, we rented a car so as not to put wear and tear on ours.  This time we got a Nissan Armada with enough cargo space to move an army.  We filled every inch of it.

Our first day we drove to Santa Fe.  Not the artsy, fabulous, interesting part of Santa Fe, but a Hyatt Place hotel near the freeway next to a gas station.  Importantly, there was no restaurant within walking distance and we discovered the hotel no longer stocks any food.  We settled on an Uber Eats delivery from Applebee’s that was pretty much inedible.  After a very long day (and plenty of oatmeal cookies to tide us over), we crashed.  The next morning we took off, stopped for gas and a Starbucks, and hit the road.  We were a half mile down Highway 25 when the tire pressure indicator popped on.  The tire pressure indicator on any car can be wildly inaccurate, but we were just starting a 400 mile trip, much of which is through pretty desolate country, so we didn’t want to take a chance. We stopped at two gas stations for help but the best they could offer was a Slurpee.  We finally drove to the rental car office, where they told us they were out of cars so they couldn’t give us a new one.  They directed us to the local tire store.  A very kind worker checked the tires, filled them all, and sent us on our way.  Luckily, we made it to Denver without incident.

We had a wonderful time with family.  What did we do?  Pretty much nothing – and that was perfect.  We have seen all the highlights of the area on other trips.  This time, we simply wanted to enjoy the time with family after such a long time apart.  COVID has been, and continues to be, a challenge but one of the silver linings is that it has honed our appreciation for the more simple things in life.  Being able to talk with our grandsons and catch up on their lives and plans for the future was pure joy.  As you can see from the photo, my husband was in Heaven with his two boys.

The trip was all too short and soon we were packing up for home.  Just as we finished loading everything in the car, our son-in-law decided to check out the tires just to make sure they were safe.  They weren’t.  There was a nail stuck in the right rear tire.  Long story short, he drove the car to the Denver airport, transferred all of our stuff to a new car, and came home with a large Infiniti SUV.  It’s only July, but he has already won the 2021 Son-In-Law of the Year award.  The next morning we drove to Cedar City, Utah.  Yes…that is a roundabout way to get to Scottsdale but the drive through the Rockies is so beautiful we decided to take the long way home.

Finally, on our last leg of the trip, we embarked on the 430 mile trip home.  We were feeling pretty lucky.  We had not run into any bad weather or freeway construction – a miracle when you’re traveling in the summer months.  Fifteen miles from home my husband decided to stop and get a bit of gas.  As we pulled out of the gas station the car started to sputter.  We made it out onto the Carefree Highway and it began lurching and making a sputtering sound that I’m not sure a car is supposed to make.  My husband was able to steer it over to the side of the road, whereupon it promptly died.

So, there we were, in 101 degree heat, no A/C and Dash the Wonder Dog in the back seat.  Luckily, we were still within walking distance of the gas station and it was attached to a small convenience store.  The kind manager took us in and even allowed Dash to enter her “no dogs allowed” establishment.  You gotta love people who take care of dogs.  I called the rental car company and they said they we were too far out for them to come get us.  I begged him not to abandon us to the vagaries of a towing company.  He finally relented and 40 minutes later showed up with another car.  He helped us transfer everything to the new car while he waited for the tow truck to take our ‘dead’ car away.

A half-hour and three cars later we arrived home – it has never looked so good.  It was great to be away but it is also great to be home.  The lure of the road has somehow lost its appeal.  We’ve cancelled our road trip for August and will wait until September to take our annual trek to Sun Valley, Idaho.  We’ll be driving our own car.

 

Posted in Health

Imprisoned at Hoag – Epilogue

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by Bob Sparrow

As much as I enjoyed the care I got at Hoag hospital following my knee-replacement surgery, I was not looking to return to that venue any time soon.  That plan was working up until about two weeks following surgery.  The knee was healing nicely, but I wasn’t feeling so good – fever, chills, vomiting, rapid heart rate.  So, Linda took me to a Hoag Emergency Center, where they took my temperature (103), my heart rate (140), blood pressure (off the charts either high or low, I don’t remember) and they looked me in the eye and said, “You’re sick!”

So back to Hoag Hospital I went – diagnosis: Sepsis. I really didn’t know much about Sepsis, but as I Googled it, I became more alarmed – it’s serious!  Infected kidneys and a urinary track infection were causing significant blood problems.  I was started on an antibiotic, but was told that a blood test and analysis, which would take about 48 hours to complete, was needed to find the specific antibiotic to fight this serious infection.  So, for two days, I was on one antibiotic and when test results came back, I was switched to another antibiotic for the next two days.  Neither seemed to knock the Sepsis out, so a third antibiotic was tried.  Whether it was a combination of all the antibiotics or the elevated white blood cell count that was fighting the infection, eventually the fever went away.

After five days in the hospital, I was finally released.  I felt like I was getting out of a prison camp where I was being tortured via sleep-deprivation techniques.  Other parts of the torture were, day-time TV which included a constant barrage of bad news.  Before leaving the hospital I was given a ‘mid-line’, which is a port in my arm so that antibiotics can be administered at home – which continued for another six days.

Now that I’m home, I have ventured all the way out to the end of the driveway, so I’m hoping future blogs will be a bit more interesting.

Thank you to those sending prayers and well-wishes my way – much appreciated.

Posted in opinion

PASSED TIME

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By Suzanne Sparrow Watson

 

I was thinking the other day about how quickly time seems to be passing.   My brother (the real Jack Sparrow) turned 80 last week and next week we will celebrate our youngest grandson’s high school graduation.  Where did that time go?  Wasn’t it just yesterday that we were at Tahoe celebrating Jack’s 50th birthday?  Wasn’t our grandson just asking me for tickles and a grape popsicle?  Time really does seem to be flying by and almost everyone I speak with observes the same phenomenon.  So I decided to find out why time seems to go so quickly as we age.  The answer is way above my pay grade and my hair hurt trying to understand all the scientific research about it, but here goes.

First, the feeling of time going faster as we age is a universal one.  The studies on this syndrome conclude that almost all older people perceive time to pass more quickly than younger people.  But why?  There are a couple of theories.  One has to do with memory as a percentage of our age.  For example, one year in a ten-year-old’s life represents 10-15% of their conscious memory, which is a pretty significant amount.  But one year for a 50 year-old is only 2% of their recallable life.  And for the very old, say 80-90 year-olds, it obviously represents far less.  This explains why children think of summer as endless, while adults perceive a summer as going quickly.  Unless you’re in Arizona and then the summer drags on and on.  But that’s a subject for another day.

The second reason for the difference how we sense time as we age seems intuitively backwards to me, but then again, I majored in English, not Physics.   Adrian Bejan, a researcher at Duke University, believes the discrepancy in how old and young perceive time can be blamed on the ever-slowing speed at which images are obtained and processed by the human brain as the body ages.  He explains that the experience of time is always a backward-looking process, reliant on memory and, more importantly, reliant on visual memory.

Like frames in a movie, the more frames one sees in a second, the slower the image appears to pass. The fewer frames one sees per second the faster the image seems to move. In other words, slow motion reveals many more frames-per-second than normal motion or fast motion. Bejan asserts that as we age our brain’s neurovisual memory formation equipment slows and lays down fewer “frames-per-second.” That is, more actual time passes between the perception of each new mental image. Children perceive and lay down more memory frames or mental images per unit of time than adults, so when they remember events—that is, the passage of time—they recall more visual data.

This is what causes the perception of time passing more rapidly as we age. When we are young, each second of actual time is packed with many more mental images relative to our older selves.  Children’s brains are like a slow-motion camera that captures many more frames per second than a regular speed one, and time appears to pass more slowly when the film is played.

After all the reading I did I still don’t quite understand it.  It seems to me that the slow-motion camera would capture fewer frames.  But again, I can barely remember what happened yesterday so maybe my brain is in super-slow mode.  And you probably hoping by now that you can forget you ever started reading this post.  Don’t worry – if you’re old enough, you’ll have forgotten all about this by tomorrow.

Posted in Health

High on the Hoag

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by Bob Sparrow

I was not off to a fast start!

The leg was bad from the start.  Literally, from the start, when I was born, my right leg was broken.  Not sure how it happened as I was busy trying to get through the birth canal at the time.  My best guess is that when the doctor slapped my butt to start me breathing, I slapped him back and he dropped me.

It was fine through high school athletics, but in my first year of college football, I was playing cornerback (back in days when they let white guys play cornerback), and I was coming up to make a tackle, when I was not only faked out of my jock strap, but with cleats stuck firmly in the turf, my right knee went in a completely different direction than the rest of my body.  I missed the tackle, and subsequently missed the rest of that football season.  Miraculously, I went on to play 5 seasons of college football (counting my red shirt season) and two season of service football with the Navy in Japan and never missed another game because of injury.  It got banged up pretty good sometimes, but never too bad that I couldn’t play.  Playing quarterback instead of cornerback helped significantly.  Later in life, it did keep me from running a marathon, when I was on an 18-mile training run, just three weeks before the LA Marathon, and it decided that it had had enough.

In 2010, I had finally decided to have knee replacement surgery and the doctor agreed it was time, but then wife, Linda won a sales contest which was a trip to Wales to see the Ryder Cup.  I didn’t want to miss that or be hobbling around on one leg through the Welsh bog, so I cancelled the surgery.  Upon returning from Wales, the knee felt fine, so I kicked knee-surgery down the road.

Dr. Jay Patel

After 60 years from the initial injury (not counting the break at birth), surgery was finally confirmed for June 21st with Dr. Jay Patel of the Hoag Orthopedic Institute in Irvine, CA.  A word about Dr. Patel; he earned his Bachelor’s degree in Biochemical Sciences from Harvard University where he graduated Summa Cum Laude and Phi Beta Kappa. He then went on to earn both a Master’s degree in Mechanical Engineering and his Medical Doctorate from Stanford University. He speaks three languages, English, Spanish and Chinese.  Intellectually, I thought we were a good match, as I had earned a BS degree (How appropriate!) from Westminster College and spoke one of the three languages that Dr. Patel knows.

Dr. Patel did my hip replacement surgery four years ago and not surprisingly, I haven’t heard a word from that hip since.  Dr. Patel continuously reminded me that “Knees are harder”.  I wouldn’t know, I slept through both surgeries, but I can attest to the real professionalism, competence, friendliness and overall caring attitude of the Hoag staff.  They are truly the best.  My surgery was on Monday afternoon and by Monday night they had me walking the halls of the hospital and on my way home on Tuesday before noon.  Those who have had this surgery know that the rehab is the tough part, and I’m told if you don’t do the rehab, you shouldn’t have done the surgery.  But I’m confident in my willingness to work hard to do what’s necessary and I have confidence in Dr. Patel’s ability – for some reason he just doesn’t seem to be a slacker to me.

Knee – before & after

It’s now been two weeks since the surgery and I’m telling my physical therapist that I don’t feel like I’m progressing like I should.  He looks at me, shakes his head, and says that I am ahead of schedule and that I should go to YouTube and watch a knee-replacement surgery and I’d see why it takes more than two weeks to heal.  I watched the video.  YIKES!!!  Glad I didn’t watch it before as I might not have gone through with it.  Saws, hammers, drills – it looked like a major construction project – I guess it was.  Watch it at your own risk!

The leg, broken at birth and woefully abused ever since, has now been fully repaired, or rather replaced, thanks to Dr. Jay Patel – and they said he’d never amount to anything.

 

 

Posted in opinion

70 SHADES OF GREY

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By Suzanne Sparrow Watson

Bob, me and brother Jack

My brothers and I have been fortunate in many ways, not the least is we have never harbored any jealousy of one another.  We have always supported one another’s accomplishments and offered support during rough patches.  But I have to admit, I have always been a bit envious of their beautiful hair.  Both of my brothers have shiny, thick, silver hair that requires little effort and provides them with a distinguished look.  On the other hand, I’ve been covering up my grey hair every 5-6 weeks since my late-30’s.  I discovered that I’m not unusual: 75% of women in the U.S. color their hair.

Part of the reason so many women choose to cover the gray is due to our cultural bias that gray hair is aging.  While studies show that men are perceived as more distinguished with gray hair (it is called the “George Clooney effect), women with gray hair are perceived to be old, dowdy and uncaring about their looks.  There is even a phrase for women who let their hair go gray:  Gray hair, don’t care.  I’m calling baloney on that.  Maybe we’re just tired of all the upkeep and expense.  I hate to think about the money I’ve spent on hair color over the years.  I’ve ranged from golden blonde to light brown to auburn but regardless of color, I’ve been a slave to the gray.

But something changed earlier this year; I began to re-think coloring my hair.  After all, I’m 70 – who am I trying to kid by not having a gray hair on my head?  One would only need to look at my crepey arms or wrinkled neck to know that I’m way past the point of being carded at the liquor store.  During the 2020 lockdown it was all the rage to transition to gray hair because the salons were closed.  Of course I didn’t do it then, when I wasn’t going anywhere or seeing anyone.  That would have made too much sense.  Instead, I donned my hazmat suit and kept every salon appointment all year long.  But earlier this year I decided enough was enough and vowed to join my brothers in the Sparrow silver hair.   I had silver-blonde streaks put in to help with the transition.  I have a visions of looking like this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

But I will probably end up looking like this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Turns out that I have very slow-growing hair.  It sure didn’t seem that way when I was traipsing to the salon every six weeks.  It will probably take the better part of a year for the silver to grow all the way out.  Oh well, I’m almost past the point of caring.  The gray hair I worry about these days is on Dash the Wonder Dog.  When I look at his sweet face I see all the gray hair around his eyes.  It’s a horrible reminder that he is getting older and won’t always be with me.  Now THAT is gray hair to worry about.  So I’m going to spend my time thinking less about what color my hair is and more time sitting next to my best pal, who loves me no matter what color is on top of my head.  We’ve made a pact that we’re going gray together.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Family

Phyllis Turns 95

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by Bob Sparrow

Phyllis Barnes

My mother-in-law, Phyllis (McMillen) Barnes turned 95 this month.  I’ll do the math for you, she was born in 1926 when the minimum wage was 33 cents an hour, a quart of milk was nine cents and a new Chevrolet cost $525.  Marilyn Monroe was born this same year (somehow, I can’t picture her at 95) and Queen Elizabeth II was also born that same year, 10 days later than Phyllis.  We all gathered in Rochester, Minnesota to celebrate this matriarch’s birthday, the group included her three children, 9 grandchildren, two great grandchildren and two great great grandchildren.

Phyllis, our own royalty, was born in Lenora, Minnesota and was a rather large baby at birth at 11 pounds, today she’s only 85 pounds – I’d venture to say that most of us have put on more than 74 pounds during our lifetime.

Phyllis’ mother, Petra, was one of three sisters in town that married three brothers!  Obviously, the dating pool was a bit limited!

For her first eight years of education, she attended a 12-seat school house, then after graduating from Canton High School, in southern Minnesota, she attended ‘Teacher’s Training’ and taught one year of ‘Normal School’ (I’m not sure how that differed from Abnormal School).  I asked her what grade she taught and she said, all of them!  All the students were in the same classroom doing different levels of activities.

Model A Ford

In 1945, at the age of 19, she married Warren Barnes and they drove a Model A Ford to Novato, CA (My hometown!) and Warren joined the Army Air Force and was stationed at Hamilton Field.  Not sure how long it took them to cross the country, or how many stops they made along the way, but they only had $75 in their pocket when they started the trip and $5 left when they got to Novato.

They returned to Minnesota and bought her parents’ farm for $20,000 – paying $1,000 a year for 20 years (No interest!).  The house had electricity, but no indoor plumbing, so they had an ‘outhouse’, which in the Minnesota winters was 25 yards too far from the house, but in the summer, it’s 25 yards too near. Phew!!  Fresh water came from a pump next to the house, which among other things was used for the weekly bath on Saturday night, to make sure the kids were ready for church on Sunday morning.  The three kids, Starlet, Dale and Linda were practicing environmentalism back then, as they all bathed separately, but in the same water.

25 yds too far or 25 yds too close

With dairy cows needing milking twice a day – every day, they didn’t have many opportunities to get too far from the farm, but they had a great life socializing with friends and family, bowling, dancing and playing cards.

Today Phyllis enjoys seeing her extended family, aside from three children, she has a total of 11 grandkids, 28 great grandkids, 5 great, great grandkids, most of them living in Minnesota.  She has two sons-in-law, Donnie Brummer and myself and when asked which one she likes best, she jokingly says, “I don’t like one any better than the other.”  So, we’ve got that going for us!

Aside from having a good sense of humor, Phyllis is truly one of the sweetest people I know; in fact at our son Jeff’s wedding in 2019 I said that Jeff reminded me of the two sweetest people I know, my dad and Phyllis.  I did mention for that while Linda and I aren’t particularly sweet, apparently we do carry that ‘sweetness’ gene. It’s one of those things that skips a generation.

One of the biggest changes that Phyllis has seen in her lifetime is in technology; they got their first TV in the mid-50s; broadcasting didn’t start until noon and went off at midnight or before.  They had only two channels and Warren had to go outside to turn the antenna to go from one channel to the other (not exactly a remote control!).  Today Phyllis is a real techie as she is very active on Facebook and reads from her iPad daily, and will often Face Time us. I hope I can be as sharp as her . . . next month!

Dale, Phyllis, Starlet, Linda

Her secret to a long life? She says, hard work, good attitude and great family.  Long live the queen!