by Bob Sparrow
October is an unusual month. I love it, as football is in full swing, the World Series takes place, which is the only time I have patience enough to watch baseball; hocky is underway and basketball starts this month, The fall weather is usually perfect – summer heat is gone and the winter chill has not yet arrived. This year, however, the summer heat decided not to go, as we here in Southern California, are experiencing near-100-degree weather . . . in OCTOBER! But I digress – for all it’s good attributes, October seems to have gotten the short end of the stick in many regards.
Here is an imagined conversation between October and the Calendar Guy . . .
Oct: “Hey, I’m the eighth month, remember ‘oct’ means eight, then you push me back a couple of months? What’s the deal?”
Calendar Guy: “Yes, you were eighth in the old Roman calendar, but they added two months, so you got pushed back.”
Oct: “What do you mean ‘they added two months’, did the earth slow down on it journey around the sun?”
Calendar Guy: “No, originally the first 60 or so days of the calendar weren’t counted because it was the rainy season, bad weather, and nothing happened during that time, so they just didn’t count it. But eventually, they did add January and February, thus pushing you back two months. Sorry.”
Oct: “So why did I get screwed on the holidays?”
Calendar Guy: What do you mean?
Oct: The other months have Christmas, New Years, Valentine’s Day, Independence Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Memorial Day, Thanksgiving, just to name a few. You gave me a day where everyone dresses up in stupid or scary costumes and goes from house to house begging for candy. I feel like the red-headed step-child!”
Calendar Guy: “I gave you Columbus Day?”
Oct: “Yeah, thanks for that! You gave me a day to celebrate a guy who did not discover America because millions of Indigenous people already lived there, and other Europeans had visited centuries earlier. AND he actually landed on islands in the Bahamas and other islands in the Caribbean, mistakenly believing until his death, that he had reached the East Indies and Asia. Aside from being cruel, he was stupid!
Calendar Guy: But . . .
Oct: “No buts, here’s a guy that forced the indigenous people into slavery. And in fact, eliminated many of them through warfare, mistreatment, and the introduction of fatal European diseases. AND, when he went back to Spain, he was arrested by Spanish authorities for the way he treated people! And you gave me Columbus Day to celebrate this jerk?!!!”
Calendar Guy: “Well, I later gave you ‘Indigenous People Day’ too, so people can celebrate either holiday.”
Oct: “Thanks a lot! Indigenous People Day didn’t even become a national holiday until 2022! Many people today don’t even know what an indigenous person is! OK, forget the holidays, what about Octoberfest?”
Calendar Guy: “What about it?”
Oct: “Octoberfest ends on the first Sunday of October, so I could get 7 days, or I could get one day!! September always gets over two weeks. Shouldn’t Octoberfest mostly be in October?”
Calendar Guy: “The weather is better in September.”
Oct: “You don’t need good weather to drink German beer!”
Calendar Guy: “You should just be grateful for what you have, ‘International Coffee Day’ and ‘National Pumpkin Spice Day’.”
Oct: “Bite me!”
Hoping you all are having a happy October.
As usual, Oh so good! wish I had your writing ability.
National Black Cat Day is a day I can celebrate every day as I have a gorgeous one lying next to me as I reply.
National Pizza Month I celebrate all the time with leftover pizza for breakfast. It’s the breakfast of champions! I’ll forego the beer though as it’s much too early to start drinking.
My favorite celebration in October is my birthday and that I’m still on this side of the dirt, a new saying (new to me anyway), that I heard at our annual Pig Roast on Saturday.
Yeah, October is a strange month, but I’ll continue embracing the strangeness. Thanks for the great and amusing read.