Category Archives: News

Posted in Blog Info / Up-dates • News • opinion

IT ALREADY FEELS SO 2011

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Headlines:  Blah, Blah, Blah

Well, it’s really starting: the “fun” of an election year,

Where the politicians posture and all seem so sincere.

Bachmann has dropped out and everyone is ripping Mitt,

Now it’s just a game of seeing who’ll be the next obit.

Money:  So the half-off Christmas sales were harmful?

The past few years have brought enough economic trouble,

Now economists say deflation will be the next financial bubble.

Falling prices and declining incomes are a sure sign of the trend,

It’s so confusing we don’t know whether to save a buck or spend.

Sports:  Talk about a 12th man!

The NFL playoff teams are one step closer to the Super Bowl,

The Texans, Saints and Giants are really on a roll.

But it was the Bronco victory in overtime that really had to be seen,

Tebow silenced all his critics who now believe in 3:16.

Life:  How do you spell self-involved? 

Beyonce had her baby girl and hoping to be discreet,

She took over Lenox Hospital, treating it like a hotel suite.

Her lucky number is 4 so she named the baby IVy Blue,

We think dIVa is also a name that she just might live up to.

Posted in Blog Info / Up-dates • News

Bolsheviks, Brats, Bowls and Books

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Headlines: In Russia, You’re Free to Vote For The Only Person on the Ballot

After 12 years of Putin the Russian people are saying

The Prime Minister should be all done.

But it’s hard to elect someone new to the office

When only Kremlin-approved parties can run.

Money: Got Some Ungrateful Rug Rats This Christmas?

If your kids were not happy with their Christmas this year

And they think money still grows on trees,

You can tell them that you’ll fill their stocking again,

But you’ll charge them a re-stocking fee.

Sports: Bowled Over

The Poinsettia, the Little Caesar the Belk and the Pinstripe,

The Fiesta, the Music City, the Sun and the Insight.

The Potato, the Liberty, the Fight Hunger, the Alamo,

The Sugar, the Rose, the Outback the New Mexico.

Life: Tired of Bowls?  Try One of These Top Books

The Leftovers, Bossypants, Death Comes to Pemberly,

In The Garden of Beasts, Catherine the Great, 11/22/63.

Last Man in Tower and Just My Type,

To Be Sung Underwater and A Stolen Life.

–

May Your 2012 Be Happy & Healthy

Bob & Suzanne

Posted in News • opinion

IS IT OVER YET?

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Headlines:  Peace and Joy went AWOL this year.

Christmas has come and gone and for us it was terrific,

But the news from other places was tragic and horrific.

Shootings, stabbings, fires … ‘twas the worst Christmas ever for some,

If this trend persists we’ll need a LOT more buttered rum.

Money:  I hope they don’t run out of those lovely Christmas sweaters.

After-Christmas shoppers have started snapping up the sales,

“Maniac Monday” deals brought shopping to a whole new scale.

To sweaters, coats and jackets the bargain hunters were swarming,

They’d better hope that Gore was wrong about all that global warming.

Sports:  Yeah, but did he get a Nutrisystem deal?

Drew Brees surpassed Marino as the passing title champ,

Kobe’s losing games ‘cause his wife’s left him cold and damp.

The bowl games are beginning so this week we’ll be affixed,

To our sofas with some beer, Doritos and Chex Mix.

Life:  We think God would understand.

Maria Shriver is considering taking Arnold back,

Says her religion commands that she should not give him the sack.

Let’s see….serial cheating and fathering another woman’s son?

We think that would even put the Virgin Mary on the run.

–

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Posted in News • opinion

What Would Happen If Our Government Shut Down?

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Headlines:

Our Congress stared across the aisle to see if the other side blinked;

To them it’s fun and games to take our budget to the brink.

To be honest if they failed the vote, our government would be fine,

As far as we can tell it’s been shut down for quite some time.

 Money: Merry Christma$

‘Black Friday’ is the day when bargains can be found

And if you miss them then, ‘Cyber Monday’ rolls around.

We’ve somehow lost the meaning of peace, love and good will

Perhaps because the Christmas spirit can’t put money in the till.

 Sports: Dope-On-A-Rope

Why didn’t Jerry Sandusky say it in the beginning?

If he had, the jury of public opinion surely he’d be winning.

He and his attorney have flatly said the showers with pre-teens

Were just to help to teach the boys some fundamental hygiene.

 Life: Silence is Golden . . . Globe

This year a silent movie has caused a big sensation;

The Artist has just grabbed six Golden Globe nominations.

The lesson to be learned, instead of wallowing in the smut,

Is Hollywood would be better off keeping its mouth shut.

–

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Posted in News • opinion

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF AN AK-47, PRAYER OR A HOT WOMAN

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Headlines:  Do they settle the election with a jump ball?

Mikhail Prokhorov, the Nets’ owner, wants to be the Russian prez,

He will face Putin and won’t be scared, or at least that’s what he says.

He acknowledged that even he isn’t safe from gulag prison stays,

At least his players can advise him on  surviving jailhouse days.

Money:  Perhaps people DO have too much discretionary income.

The retailers are weighing in on what’s selling this holiday,

Lego, Barbie and Elmo are apparently here to stay.

Lingerie sales are way up and there’s a new product for those who dare,

You can impress your friends and family with a bra worn as outerwear.

Sports:  I wouldn’t bet against him.

The Global Language Monitor has issued a decree,

From now on it will be “Tebowing” when a player takes a knee.

Much has been made of Tim’s actions but after Sunday’s big comeback,

Maybe we ought to just shut-up and give the guy some slack.

Life:  The trifecta.

Jen Aniston has been named the “Hottest Woman of All Time”,

At 42 years old she is smart and in her prime.

All three Kardashian sisters made the covers of the trashy mags,

Is it too early to declare them the “All Time Most Likely to Make You Gag”?

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Posted in News • opinion

Fast and Curious

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Headlines: I Thought You Were Watching The Guns!

Of a recent government gun bust we became so very curious;

About an arms tracking tactic by the name of Fast and Furious.

The tactic was designed to find the leaders and the funds,

But somewhere in the process our agents lost 2,000 guns.

 Money: Anyone Seen My Keys and Glasses?

MF Global CEO, ex-Senator Jon Corzine

Is the subject of a scandal and is being much maligned

For a simple senior moment with regard to farmer’s millions;

It seems he can’t recall where he left one point two billion.

 Sports: You Can’t Buy A World Series on eBay

Albert Pujols, CJ Wilson will now wear Angel red,

  This historic trade in baseball was finally put to bed.

Angel fans should not forget the New York Yankee curse,

Just because you pay the most won’t mean you’ll come in first.

 Life: Do They Know Who I Am?

Hothead Alec Baldwin was thrown off an airplane just this week

When he refused to close his phone and continued with his tweet.

“I was singled out”, the disgruntled actor said.

Perhaps he really has 30 Rocks in his head.

–

You’ve thought about it, why not try it?

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Posted in News • opinion

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR

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Headlines:  A nod from Tiger could be next. 

Newt Gingrich leads the polls so now he’ll meet with Trump,

And hope that his endorsement will put him over the hump.

Herman Cain’s endorsing Newt, but if we could be so rash,

That will make the women’s vote most likely burn and crash.

Money:  No use crying over spilt Euros.

The Italian finance minister broke down and cried today,

As she announced that many social perks were going to go away.

She said that working people had no more money to bestow,

A sentiment we hope foreshadows how the U.S. is going to go.

Sports:  This bowl proud to be sponsored by Sani-Flush. 

Well, LSU and Alabama will play the title game re-match,

While other games seem destined for a considerable mismatch.

You know there are too many bowls when the committees find a reason,

To select a team to play that has had a losing season.

Life:  Oh, what we wouldn’t give for a blanket and a piano. 

The onslaught has begun, Christmas shows are all the rage,

Entertainers from Cyrus to Buble are taking to the stage.

Barbara Walters, Grinch and Rudolph will also appear on the TV,

But nothing beats the vision of Charlie Brown’s Christmas tree.

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Posted in News • opinion

Affairs to Forget

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Headlines: Is Cain Able to Handle Situation Gingerly?

Herman Cain provides the fodder for his political foes,

When he sits down with his wife this week to see just what she knows

About friend Ginger White with whom he just had friendly connections,

And he’s hoping to avoid the subject of presidential erections.

 Money: Just What We Need, Another Stock that Isn’t Worth Anything 

Just in time for Christmas you can buy some Packers stock,

So you can put a Cheese Head in that special person’s sock.

But investors should be wary as there’s something to be learned;

The stock, while it brings ownership will bring no monetary return.

 Sports: Keep Manning Manning the Sidelines

Payton Manning’s neck is healing the doctor said this week,

But his comeback for this season still is looking bleak.

We know that he’s a winner, but it cannot be his dream

To stand behind the offensive line of his winless Indy team.

Life: Barbara Wawa Holds A Mirror Up To Our Culture and It Isn’t Pretty

It’s Barbara Walter’s Special night we hope you won’t be late,

She tells us who we really like and who can fascinate.

The Kardashians and Trump are among those who she’ll fete

All in all it sounds like something that we’d just as soon forget.

–

 Put a tribute in someone’s sock this year

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Posted in News • opinion

ONE DOWN … 434 TO GO.

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Headlines:  How can you extort money?  Let me count the ways.

Barney Frank is retiring after three decades in his seat,

Because of the redistricting he thinks he’d go down in defeat.

We’re glad that once he’s gone we’ll no longer get the shaft,

‘Cause he’ll no longer have access to Fannie Mae and graft.

Money:  I still have checks so I must still have money.

Black Friday, Cyber Monday…we’re just so confused,

We can’t even remember which credit card we used.

We got some awesome pricing on deals that can’t be beat,

I’m sure my Uncle Jack will love the canned unicorn meat.

Sports:  Tommy Trojan put down due to fatigue.

Rick Neuheisel was fired after four years on the job,

Losing 50-0 to their rival angered the Bruin alumni mob.

On the plus side, Urban Meyer was picked up at Ohio State,

Hopefully he’ll avoid ol’ Jim Tressel’s fate.

Life:   A little education could have gone a loooong way.

Miley Cyrus has a new video and a protest song’s the lead,

Lauding the “Occupiers” and denouncing corporate greed.

Gee, if we recall correctly, (and I think we do),

It was mean old Disney Corp. that made her dreams come true.

–

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Posted in News

Who’s Got The Political Football?

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Headlines: Newt Takes the Lead . . . This Week

I’m not so sure which party is enjoying this the most;

The Republicans have a struggling president to roast,

While the Democrats are finding it quite easy to critique

The Republican’s latest offering of the candidate of the week.

Money: Black Thursday Afternoon

A long time Target employee has said Thanksgiving is my day,

But he can never enjoy it because he works on Black Friday.

So the store’s midnight grand opening, he’s trying to appeal

So he doesn’t have to sleep again through his Thanksgiving meal.

Sports: On Which Side Do Mom & Dad Sit?

There is an historic game for you pro football mavens

This Thursday San Francisco plays the Baltimore Ravens

It’s a familial faceoff that’s the big television draw

Each team is being coached by brothers named Harbaugh.

Life: And Now For A Hollywood Moment

Demi’s in Hawaii getting over her divorce;

Taylor Swift has proved again that she a tour de force.

Bieber’s trying to settle some bothersome dispute,

Making sure that he’s not fitted for his first paternity suit.

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